


Not in that way

by roseandmax



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, F/M, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, Smut, mention of suicides
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-02 06:36:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 43,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5238134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roseandmax/pseuds/roseandmax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A roller-coaster of Changmin's life, love life mainly.</p><p>Changmin has eventually fallen for Yunho, a hot Project Manager of A&D Group. Sadly, Yunho rejected him right away when Changmin confessed his feeling. Siwon, an infamous playboy and an heir of the Choi Group, comes into Changmin’s life and tries to make him his by all means he could; and which the presence of the infamous playboy reminds Changmin of his first lover, who has disappeared from his life without a single word. With the fact of Siwon coming into Changmin’s life, Yunho has acted more confusing, more possessive and more protective toward his subordinate, Changmin. </p><p>Yunho is arranged by his parents to marry a hot model, while Siwon is arranged by his parents to marry a daughter of a privileged family. Julien comes into Changmin’s life as a good suggestion for Changmin to get away from the two said guys.</p><p>Who will Changmin end up with?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Annyeong, all my beloved readers!!!
> 
> Thank you very much for dropping by and reading my story. I hope my story has given you a piece of a good time, at least.
> 
> This has been my third fic, aside from the two other current fics I’m working on– Me Only and Only and Unexpected Housemate. And it’s going to be the longest one too among the three and the most angsty one, which personally it is quite painful for me when I have to make Changmin to go through all the pain physically, emotionally and mentally. Changmin is going to go through a lot. Quite a lot. His happy moments could be counted by fingers while his sad moments could be used to build something as a Lego game. His life is going up and down, taking such a roller-coaster. A strong sense of jealousy and protection here is quite strong to the point of commitment of crime and murder.
> 
> You might have seen so many pairings which I purposely put there for your information. You might want to question me but I would honestly tell you that I couldn’t reveal anything at the moment. However, I believe you probably could guess from the pairings I tagged there.
> 
> English is my second language, so I believe there will have inevitable mistakes in grammars and wording. Especially, when I’m quite lazy to do proofreading myself before posting.
> 
> Now, since you have been informed in advance of might happen in the story, please enjoy it at your own risk! ;)
> 
> Love you all *kisses*
> 
> P.S: I’m not good at writing smut, frankly speaking, but I’m still writing it. Hahaha. A pervert!fangirl *hide*
> 
> P.P.S: Please don’t be afraid to let me hear your opinion. I would appreciate very much if you could drop your comments (including constructive comments). They are the great indicators to show me whether my story is going well or not.

 

 

 

 

 

In an almost pitch black room, Changmin is laying under his duvet, with some bang falling freely over his forehead. The soft light from the street outside of his apartment is seeping through half drawn curtains. Looking quite restless, the young man keeps turning on his right side and then left. Staring at the phone sleeping on the nightstand beside his bed, he grabs his phone to check as if he is waiting for some messages or some callings from some people. Or maybe someone in particular. He puts the phone back next to his pillow carelessly, with pouting on his lips. He heaves a deep sigh and mumbles something before forcing his eyes to shut.

_Maybe he hasn’t seen it_.

 

But a moment later, he open his eyes and then blinks and bites the inside of his cheeks. He is obviously nervous.

_Or he is still thinking about it_.

 

He speaks in his head. Then he shakes his head lightly as if he is trying to shake off his nervousness. After another heave of sigh and a pout, Changmin decides to close his eyes again, forcing himself to drift to the dreamland. He wishes he could fly to dreamland in a matter of minute now. Maybe that would help him a lot or so, he believes. And just like a minutes later, his phone blinks the light on with vibration, revealing a 1-message received with mentioning the name of the sender: YUNHO. The young man flutters his eyes open and quickly grabs phone. Sitting up, he looks intensely into the phone monitor in front of him while gripping hard on to his phone. If the phone was breakable from just the grips, the phone would have been broken for several times already. He looks so nervous and very uncertain. He looks at the monitor again before mumbling ‘ _Whatever’._ He swipes the screen and touches the appearing 1-message received. And the content of the message displays fully on his big phone screen. It reads:

_< < Changmin, thank you very much for your message. I frankly was contemplating how to reply to your message. It’s just…it’s just a bit of sudden as you mentioned in your message. And I was feeling flattered and heavy at the same time. But after a second thought, I believe that I should be honest with you because I don’t want to hurt more than you may have been now. Believe me, I love you but not in that way. I’m really sorry, I don’t have the same feeling. I hope we can stay good friends as we were. I know this must have hurt you but if I don’t let you know now, I’m afraid everything would turn worse. I’m sorry, again. >>_

 

Changmin’s face turns vividly pale, though in this almost pitch black room. His lips turns trembling while his hands are shaky. And a moment later, his tears drop onto his iPhone’s monitor and that’s when he realizes he is crying. He drops his body on his stomach and pushes his face hard into his puffy pillow, trying to muffle his scream of the pain.

 

HE IS REJECTED BY YUNHO.

 

He gets angry at himself that he was stupid to confess his feeling, which he had NEVER DONE this with ANYONE but Yunho. Yes, YUNHO, a very first person that he believed he got constantly attracted and a very first person that he believed he was deeply in love with. He hates himself now for being stupid to hope that the older guy would have the same feeling after all the things they had done together.

 

After a long moment of muffled crying and screaming, he decides to take a bath. He hopes a warm bathing could relieve all his anger and humiliation.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Sun light seeps through the curtains of his bedroom, which unintentionally wakes the lanky man from his sleep. He looks at the digital clock on the nightstand, and it reads a little pass 8. He is very thankful that today is Saturday, or he wouldn’t be sure how to gather himself to go to work in the same office with Yunho. His stomach growls, telling him that he is hungry. The lanky man doesn’t want to get up yet so he pulls the duvet over to his head but his stomach feels otherwise.

 

With a violent move, he gets up and uses his two hands rub off his face angrily. He decides to take a quick shower before having a nice cup of coffee and a whatever-breakfast to light up his mood. Everything is not quite smooth for him, he thinks. He is now sitting at a coffee table near the window in his apartment. Coffee is still sitting in front of him. He is looking at his phone, scrolling for the contact he wants to contact. Yes, he needs somebody to hang out with for this moment, just to keep him busy and just so he won’t be so grumpy at himself. He knows clearly that he has to work on Monday, and that he has to face a person who just rejected him last night. No matter what, he can’t let a person to see his weak side.

 

NO. NEVER.

 

Finally, he dials a particular number. Kyuhyun.

 

After a third beep, he hears the voice from another line.

 

“ _Yo, man! What’s up?”_

 

He is hesitating at first but says to his friend nonetheless. “Hey, Kyu! Busy today?”

 

“ _Apparently, not if you are talking about date or sort of things. But in term of game, yes.”_ Well, that’s the answer Changmin has expected. He knows that his friend would reply like this.

 

“Wanna go some shopping, and then grab lunch and -“

 

“ _Oh, a boydate? Just the two of us?”_ Kyuhyun cuts him abruptly from the other line.

 

The lanky man rolls his eyes. “Whatever you call, I don’t care. Just tell me if you wanna spend the day with me. Or it would be great if you could spend tomorrow with me too.”

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

It seems like it has been ages since Changmin had gone for real shopping the last time. Well, he isn’t a type of a person who is fond of shopping that much, and same for Kyuhyun. And this is one of the reason that they have become best friends; they like being quiet. But no, they are not quiet when they play game. Though Changmin is quite a neat and hygiene freak but of course he lets his room to become messy for a while during the gaming. Khyhyun is just older than Changmin by number of days but somehow Kyuhyun wants Changmin to call him HYUNG, and he really demands that from Changmin. Being Changmin, he only calls Kyuhyun HYUNG when he feels like it, especially if he wants to ask for a favor from the older one.

 

After like few hours of shopping, they are now at a nice café in the shopping mall. The waiter takes their orders and then leaves.

 

Though they have been shopping for few hours but it seems Changmin hasn’t been getting to be his normal self yet. The older man has become a little worried for his friend. Knowing that Changmin for all these years, how the younger behaves today is, obviously something has happened. Something that must be related to Yunho, the Project manager at the place Changmin has been working for like two years for now.

 

He remember the younger man asked for his advice some weeks ago if he should confess his feeling to the hot supervisor. He is contemplating whether or not to ask Changmin directly now about it or he should wait until later. And he decides to ask later. Not when Changmin is still in this grumpy mood.

 

They chat about this and that for a little before the waiter brings their lattes and cakes. Changmin dives into cakes as soon as the waiter leaves. Kyuhyun doubts if his friend is really that hungry. But at the back of his mind, he knows that his best friend isn’t this hungry but he rather eats to relieve his emotion. Or he would say his frustration to be exact.

 

After they finishes their lattes and cakes, Khyuhyun decides to give a good suggestion to Changmin.

 

“Hey, Chwang! I know one new Japanese restaurant. I’ve been there twice with my date. And oh, yeah the food is incredibly heaven,” He exasperates the line with full of excitement on his face.

 

Changmin looks at his best friend judgingly, knowing that this silly best friend of his is trying to light up his mood. And that’s what he loves about Kyuhyun; he doesn’t need to voice out his thought much but oh well, sometimes Khyhyun gives him hardest time too.

 

“Sounds great! Let’s go there then.”

 

“Cool! Today’s lunch is on me!” Kyuhyun says with a wink to his best friend, and Changmin bursts out in a big laugh. Yeah, what else would he ask for from this best friend?

 

After the agreement, Changmin gets up to pay the bill at the counter, asking Khyhyun to wait at the table. Changmin thought that he at least should pay both of them for this since Kyuhyun initiated to treat him for lunch.

He bumps into someone when he thought he was about to reach the counter. If not a large soft hand pulled him by his hand and that finally he ended in the embrace of a stranger, he would not have realized he was absentmindedly walking. Yeah, he is not fine. NOT AT ALL. He really thought he was walking to the cashier counter. But no, he is now at the entrance of the café, not the cashier counter. Luckily, the man was quick enough to catch him. He was shocked at first, and didn’t know what to do. He unintentionally lets a stranger hold him for a little while, which it feels like an eternity for him. The warmth of the stranger’s body and the smell is very comforting. He wants to cry right here right now because he really needs some comforts. But the person he really needs right now is the person who broke his heart. And the smell of this stranger is not Yunho’s. And that’s how he comes back to reality.

 

He quickly says _Sorry_ as soon as he realizes it. He is very thankful but embarrassed at that moment too. He does not look at the man he bumped—who saved—oh whatever. He doesn’t care anymore.

 

Kyuhyun was about to run to his friend when he heard his friend apologizing someone as the worries shoot up but as soon as he sees that his friend is fine, he stays still. It’s better not to embarrass his friend more than his friend is now. And somehow he feels that maybe this isn’t a bad accident at all.

 

Changmin quickly removes himself from the hold of the man, and bows furiously when he apologizes again. “I’m sorry, I’m terribly sorry for being…umm… being clumsy.” The red shade has crept up his face and the tips of his ears too. He still keeps his head bowing. “And thank you for saving me.” The last sentence is a bit soft, a bit louder than a whisper.

 

The man flashes his sweet and handsome smiles before replying. “No worries. I’m fine here. Are you hurt somewhere?”

 

Changmin shakes his head as a sign of no. He feels relieved and comforted after hearing the sweet reply from the man. He looks up, wanting to apologize and thank him again. But as soon as he looks up, their eyes lock…at least for a brief moment. The lanky man’s face gets a little redder than the moment ago. And when the sense comes back to him, he shakes his head a bit to regain his composure.

 

“Still, I was very clumsy. My sincere apologies for this bad manner of me. And again, thank you for…for saving me. If you are not hurt somewhere, then may I excuse myself.”

 

Changmin does not wait for the reply and quickly run to the counter for the payment, leaving his savior standing dumfounded in a speechless mode.

 

 

The lankly man hurriedly makes his way to his friend and then both of them leave, leaving the savior trails his gaze after him.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

The two best friends are now sitting in a Japanese restaurant that Kyuhyun suggested earlier, at a secluded corner with some plants blocking. They are waiting for their food. Changmin is drinking warm chrysanthemum tea to calm his nerve while waiting for the food.

 

“Why were you so-“

 

“So what?” Changmin cuts his friend in annoying tone. “Didn’t you see, it was very embarrassing?” The last sentence was soft.

 

“Well,” Kyuhyun is struggling to find the right words to say. He knows that his friend is in a very foul mood now. “…maybe it wasn’t a bad accident at all, you know.” He tries to comfort and convince his best friend too. And he sips the tea from the waiting cup.

 

“I don’t know. I don’t care if it was a bad accident or not. All I know is…is… you know… it was very embarrassing.” He is not angry now but still not in a good mood either.

 

“Min, but I think he was attracted to you.” Kyuhyun says softly, not wanting anyone around to hear, knowing that Changmin wouldn’t like it.

 

The younger man looks up at his friend, wanting to assure if he heard right, and he earns a confirmation facial gesture from his best friend. The lanky man does not want to say anything. He is…he is a bit lost. He is still broken hearted. He heaves a sigh and then excuses himself to the restroom.

 

And when Changmin is still in the restroom for his forever time there, the man, his savior comes into the restaurant with a beautiful, slim girl. They walk pass the table Kyuhyun and Changmin is occupying. Changmin’s savior looks briefly at Kyuhyun when he is walking pass. The man and the beautiful girl go to another corner of the restaurant, and Khyuhyun sees the waiter and restaurant manager come to the two. He assumes that this man must be a regular customer here, and knowing that this restaurant is quite expensive, he believes that the man is relatively rich. His hopeful idea about paring his best friend with the man earlier disappears as he guesses the girl must be his girlfriend, seeing how intimate they interact. He tells himself to not mention about the man to his best friend anymore.

 

Changmin retreats back from the restroom, and when he walks back to his table, he doesn’t realize that his savior is observing him from the corner. Some delight expression appears on the man’s face; unfortunately, Changmin isn’t able to see, and sadly, Kyuhyun has decided not to look at the man anymore.

 

The waiters bring the food to Changmin and Kyuhyun’s table. And both of them are not waiting for any minute longer before devouring the food.

 

Changmin has got much better after the good food. He keeps moaning and praising his best friend to get to know such a nice restaurant. Ah, yes, Changmin has never hesitated in front of food. Kyuhyun smiles ear to ear seeing his friend getting better. He thanks to himself for being smart enough to have decided to bring his best friend here.

 

Now the food session is finished and there comes dessert. And it’s the time Kyuhyun decides to have an open talk with his friend.

 

“So mind to tell what exactly happened?”

 

The younger is a bit startled and bewildered for a bit before realizing what the question was referred to. He slows down his chewing a bit and swallows the chewed dessert before speaking up. “He rejected me.”

 

The statement is too soft, that Khyhyun believes he needs a little while to process the information. His best friend’s face becomes really sad, and his eyes are glistened with tears.

 

“I’m sorry.” Kyuhyun mumbles softly. He isn’t sure if he should say any much more.

 

The younger man shakes his head with a bitter smile. “I was stupid myself. But I already assured him that I was fine. I told him that it just hurt a little.”

 

“And you told him that you hope you both could stay good friends.” Kyuhyun gets mad immediately. He knows his friend never wants to make a fuss of anything with anybody. Well, with him, Changmin is never afraid to make a fuss.

 

“He actually suggested this.” He mumbles quietly.

 

“Oh, Changmin. Don’t make a face like you are a culprit. For a fuck’s sake, he was the one who started all the misunderstandings.” It seems the anger has eaten Kyuhyun up. He has just spoken so loud without realizing it, and that has earned the attention for the surrounding, especially from Changmin’s savior.

 

Though not many customers in the restaurant, Changmin feels embarrassed enough, not to mention his heart hasn’t been healed yet. Kyuhyun realizes he was a bit loud so he breathes in deeply to calm his nerve down. Somehow he is angry at himself for having encouraged his friend to confess.

 

“I’m sorry.” It’s kyuhyun. He apologizes again, and that earns Chagnmin a puzzle.

 

“Why sorry?”

 

“It was me who encouraged you to confess. So it is also my mistake.” He mumbles, the voice is small and cracking.

 

“Oh, no, no,” Changmin quickly replies with furious shaking of his head, “not your fault at all, Kyu. You just suggested, and it was me who took the action.” He is trying to comfort his friend. Oh, what scene is this? Now the broken hearted one is trying to comfort the one was supposed to comfort him. Kyu is still angry at himself. “Kyu, listen to me. Of course, I believed I was in love with him…like really deeply but you know…it turned out that I am not hurt as I thought-“

 

“Oh, you are not hurt at all and that’s why you walked absentmindedly to the entrance of the café instead of the cashier counter and then bumped into someone. Oh, yes, you are not hurt. I do believe that.” His voice is all rough and hurt. And Changmin can’t help but heaves a sigh. Maybe it is better to have a little break from this conversation.

 

After a while they start consuming the forgotten dessert.

 

“I’m sorry, Min. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

 

Changmin shakes his head a sign of _it’s-okay_. “I’m really fine, Kyu.” He looks at his best friend. “Well, if you are truly sorry, how about treating me the movie and dinner after that?” He adds with a wink.

 

Kyuhyun looks at him as if he couldn’t believe what he has just heard. He surrenders, “Okay, if that would make you feel better.”

 

And they both burst out in laughing. Kyuhyun notes mentally that he has to ask Changmin to treat him the way he treats him when he is broken hearted too. Talking about broken hearted, this is the main reason of why Kyuhyun never wants to commit any serious relationship. He is afraid… no, he’s scared of that because he had been broken hearted and Changmin was the only person who had been there for him for all those times. He feels indebted to Changmin because he believes that if Changmin hadn’t been by his side for those tough times, he might have died long ago.

 

“So let’s go for a movie?” Changmin asks with a smug on his face, eyes glistened with excitement knowing that he’s going to be treated for the whole time this afternoon.

 

“Yeah, yeah movie time.” His voice sounds annoyed but his eyes are saying otherwise. He looks around for a waiter for the bill but then ends up ringing the bell instead. A waiter comes and Khyhyun requests a bill.

 

A little while later, a restaurant manager walks to them and hold a bill holder in his hand. He bows to them before speaking, “We are pleased to inform that your bill is waived off. Today we have our special promotion for lunch time.” The restaurant manager smiles gently and humbly before continuing, “Anyone with light blue sweater and dark blue denim will have lunch for free at our restaurant.”


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

 

“Yeah, yeah movie time.” His voice sounds annoyed but his eyes are saying otherwise. He looks around for a waiter for the bill but then ends up ringing the bell instead. A waiter comes and Khyhyun requests a bill.

 

A little while later, a restaurant manager walks to them and hold a bill holder in his hand. He bows to them before speaking, “We are pleased to inform that your bill is waived off. Today we have our special promotion for lunch time.” The restaurant manager smiles gently and humbly before continuing, “Anyone with light blue sweater and dark blue denim will have lunch for free at our restaurant.”

 

Both best friends have a puzzled look on their faces, aren’t sure if they have heard right. A haft minute later, Kyuhyun looks at Changmin, raises his brows and then nods.

 

“So that means I’m lucky to have a free lunch here because of my friend?” Kyuhyun asks, not judging.

 

“As a matter of fact, yes.” The restaurant manager replies, still having this gentle smile on his face.

 

“Oh, Chwang! You are indeed my lucky star!” He teases his friend and also is delighted to be able to have free lunch. Well, he already knows the approximate amount to be paid as he of course looked at the price and for sure they were not cheap.

 

“Thank you, manager-nim. I’m very delighted that we are able to have lunch here for free. I guess I can’t help but have to make sure to come here again soon,” Changmin states with his handsome smile on his lips. And the restaurant manager’s cheeks become a little red at that sight. “Thank you once again. So may we leave now if we don’t need to pay anything?”

 

And that question wakes the manager up from his little daydream. “Oh, you are most welcome, Mr.???”

 

“Shim Changmin.” It’s Kyuhyun who says the name.

 

“Mr. Shim,” The restaurant addresses Changmin, “we also have another special promotion for you.”

 

“Another special promotion?” Kyuhyun and Changmin ask in unison.

 

“You are invited to be our premium members,” the restaurant manager tells, still wearing smile on his face. “But because you are premium members so we need a bit of more detail about you such as the name, your occupation, your institution, the copies of both your citizen ID card and employment or student ID, your e-mail address and your phone number here. And after 30 minutes, we will bring the premium member card for you if you agree with this condition. With this premium card, you will receive up to 30% discount on the food and drink. You don’t need to pay at all for this premium card. And this premium card is also effective with its alliances.”

 

“Oh, what a gold promotion!” Kyuhyun exclaims excitedly, “Give us the forms now, we will fill them immediately.”

 

Changmin does not comment anything and just follows Kyuhyun. Of course, he will never protest when it comes to the gold chance like this, though he a bit doubt of this promotion.

 

“My sincere apologies, we have run out of our forms. Would you mind to write on the blank paper instead?” The restaurant manager shows his uncertain expression there, and that earns another doubt from Changmin while Kyuhyun does not pay attention much.

 

“Whatever paper you have, we are fine with it!” It’s Kyuhyun again and Changmin nods along.

 

The restaurant manager feels relieved, and quickly hands out each of them a piece of blank paper.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

It’s already afternoon time of the first day of the week of the month. Yunho and Changmin are not able to interact much after the rejection incident, which somehow Changmin feels a bit relieved. He seems not very sad but a bit embarrassed from the rejection. He remembers he was asking himself as soon as the weekday morning arrived if he should come to the office… if he should ask for sick leave or whatever leave that could make him away from the office for a few days but after a second thought, he decided to come to work. He believes that works can keep his mind busy and just so, he won’t be able to think about the incident much.

 

Though he is trying to tell himself that everything is going to be normal again soon, whenever he sees Yunho, he is still somehow unsettled. Yunho reminds him of what they had done together and then the blunt rejection from Yunho. He is still lost, not sure of what happened exactly. Maybe…maybe it has been just Changmin alone that interpreted what they did together as a romantic attraction.

 

While he is still checking through the design in his desktop monitor, Yunho opens his office door from behind Changmin and invites him for a quick meeting. Changmin is a bit hesitant because he is not really sure of how he can face Yunho one on one. He slumps his shoulders down a bit then inhales deeply before picking up a notebook and pen with him. He walks into Yunho office, and his supervisor gesture him to have a seat.

 

“I have just exchanged e-mails with a client,” Yunho starts the conversation. “This client is insanely rich and he can be our long-term client.” He looks at his subordinate to assure that his subordinate is listening. As he sees that his subordinate is listening attentively, he continues “He said he wanted to see the first project first… he wants to see how it goes and if it would meet his requirements.”

 

Changmin nods in understanding.

 

“This project is rather personal for him, not for his business but the potential is, if he likes our works, he will likely be the long-term client for us, not only for his personal one but also for his business.”

 

Changmin nods again in understanding every word his supervisor is telling him.

 

“And he strongly suggested you to be the responsible person for this first project.” Yunho says a bit soft with this line, isn’t sure if it is a good thing to ask Changmin to do after what just happened. He feels sorry for Changmin that he couldn’t return the feeling. He knows that Chagnmin must be still really hurt. He also wants to ask Changmin to take some days off so that he may be better and collected for the work.

 

Changmin looks up at his supervisor, reading the facial expression of his supervision, and he sees that his supervisor shows some sort of uncomfortable look there. He isn’t sure if his supervisor is feeling sorry or actually feeling disgusting. He just ignores his thought, and gives him an assuring smile instead.

 

“I’m very glad to take that project.”

 

Yunho looks at his subordinate again to confirm if it is really okay with him. And what he receives from his subordinate is another assuring and determined smile. So he smiles back, a little relieved that Changmin can be this strong.

 

“Okay, then I will write him back that you accepts this project. And for sure, I’ll keep you copied in this e-mail so that you and he can communicate directly soon after.”

 

“Thank you.” Changmin manages to smile again. He is thankful for himself for no matter what happens he can always smile. Sometimes he is not sure if it is a good or a bad point of him. “So anything else that you want to talk to me?”

 

“Yes?” Yunho is a bit startled hearing the question.

 

“I am asking you if you have anything to tell me about the project. If you don’t have any, then may I excuse myself to continue my works,” Changmin isn’t sure if this is the right one to say to his supervisor. Somehow he finds that the tension between them is a bit awkward. So he is not sure if every word he says would offend his supervisor. But he still believes that Yunho is a rational person.

 

“Ah, no, I have no any other thing to talk to you at the moment. You may leave.” Yunho flashes his gentle smile.

 

Changmin mumbles _Thank you_ , bows and then leave Yunho’s office, leaving Yunho staring at him from behind. He has this unreadable look on his face.

 

 

 

 

The coffee break has arrived, and that is what Changmin likes about it a lot because though it’s only 15-minute coffee break, he finds it rather good, especially when there is this intern boy who always comes to him, and another junior staff who just joined the company. The intern is Xiumin and new staff is Minho.

 

Both of them have very cute smile, and they like Changmin a lot. The staffs in the office tease that they both must be having a crush on Changmin but neither of them says anything.

 

“Hyung, coffee time!” It’s Minho, who is handing out a mug of coffee to Changmin. The older man receives the offered mug with mumbling _Thank you_. “Come on, let’s go to the terrace a bit. I want to smell the sun a bit.”

 

The older doesn’t say anything but follow the younger, and then he meets Xiumin on the way to the terrace. The little man is having some sort of cakes in his hands.

 

“Going to the terrace, right Hyung?” Xiuman asks, with his cute smile. Both Minho and Changmin nod. “Ah, yes, I’ll join you.” He says excitedly. “Here, take this!” He hands out the cakes. “I’ll grab my coffee first.”

 

“Okay, see you.” Changmin accepts the cakes while Xiumin is running to grab his coffee. And moment later, the 3 Mins are at the terrace, the usual spot that the three of them like to spend during coffee break. They chat about random things.

 

Little do they know, Yunho is observing the three from his office’s window.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

It’s already at the end of the working day. And Changmin is preparing to leave the office. The alarm clock of his phone rings off, appearing the line _Meeting with Mr. Choi at his apartment._ He shut down his desktop and bring some files and some magazine with him. Interior Design magazines. Some staffs are still working to finish off some stuffs.

 

As Changmin is pushing his chair to his desk, prepping to leave, Yunho comes to him.

 

“I read that you are meeting with him at his apartment.” Yunho says, with concerns on his look.

 

“Yes, I am. It mentions in our exchanged e-mails. I got everything, his number and his address. I’ll make sure to be there on time.” Changmin explains.

 

“I’m not worrying that you won’t be there on time. I’m just worried about you.” Yunho replies.

 

“About me? I’m just going there to meet client. Come on, it’s for the sake of the work!” Changmin is a bit irritated with this behavior of Yunho. He doesn’t understand why Yunho always behaves like he really cares about the younger always.

 

“Listen, Changmin! I know that it’s for work but I have heard that he is a bit of a playboy.” He does not speak loud, for only both of them heard.

 

The younger looks to his supervisor. He forces a smile and then replies, “Okay, I’ll be careful. Are you satisfied now?” His voice is still a bit irritated. He still can’t understand Yunho at all, especially after the last message of the Saturday night.

 

“Make sure you keep your GPS on.” Yunho adds.

 

“Okay. So may I leave now or I’ll be late for the meeting?”

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Changmin takes a taxi to the apartment where his client resides. On the way to the meeting place, Changmin tries to make sure how to make things smooth and safe. He does not think that what Yunho said was silly. No, he believes his words because he also has heard about this person’s name, his client for so long too. A young and rich, and hot and of course a total playboy. But all in all, what he has heard is that this person has had many girlfriends, and no boyfriend in the list. So somehow he tells himself that nothing is going to happen but his negotiation about the work.

 

Taxi arrives at the told address, and Changmin gets off the taxi after giving the fee. He quickly runs to the elevator, punch number 15, the floor where his client resides. There are other people come in the same elevator before it lifts. Changmin is trying to check his look in the elevator mirror to assure that he is presentable enough for the first meeting. Good impression leads to ease of negotiation.

 

As soon as he reaches the aimed floor, he rushes to look for the number of the apartment. 1501.

 

When he is in front of the apartment 1501, he pulls his phone to check the time. And that’s great he arrives 15 minutes in advance. Quite a good time. He tries to relax first before ringing the bell.

 

And door of apartment has opened to welcome him after the owner of the apartment checks out the guest. And as soon as the door opens, he sees this man, HIS SAVIOR, smiling at him handsomely as much as the first day they met, which to him, it was like YESTERDAY.


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

 

As soon as he reaches the aimed floor, he rushes to look for the number of the apartment. 1501.

 

When he is in front of the apartment 1501, he pulls his phone to check the time. And that’s great he arrives 15 minutes in advance. Quite a good time. He tries to relax first before ringing the bell.

 

And door of apartment has opened to welcome him after the owner of the apartment checks out the guest. And as soon as the door opens, he sees this man, HIS SAVIOR, smiling at him handsomely as much as the first day they met, which to him, it was like YESTERDAY.

 

Changmin’s doe eyes go wide with his mouth a bit open. He is a bit shocked, and of course is lost at words upon seeing the man. He blinks twice to check with himself if actually his eyes were playing tricks on him. He wishes that he was dreaming. Because of course, as soon as he sees the standing man in front of him, the unforgettable embarrassment happening briefly the other day flashes vividly before his eyes. And given that, a bright shade of red creeps over his cheeks to his ears. He bites his bottom puffy lip to control his nervousness. His eyes start darting anywhere else but the man in front of him.

_Changmin, what have you done? Why do you have to encounter the witness of your embarrassment? And he happens to be your potential client._

 

He curses and slaps himself mentally.

_Oh, God! What to do, what to do?_

 

He is praying there was a rewind of time so that he would talk to Yunho that he wouldn’t accept this project. After that thought, he shakes his head mentally violently as if he is denying his own thought.

_No. No, Changmin. Don’t be a coward. It is your work. Do it and prove it to Yunho that you can do it. Don’t let him laugh at you more than he may have._

 

And then he nods at himself mentally, agreeing with his last thought. But he does not realize that his client who was his savior the other day is looking at him amusedly. He hides his smirk before waking up the lanky man from his little dreaming world.

 

“Are you not coming in, Mr. Shim?” He is standing by the opening door, looking for the answer from his guest.

 

The younger man gets back to his sense. And now he realizes he has neglected his potential client for how long that he is not sure already. That’s very impolite of him. He knocks his head mentally. This isn’t what he was supposed to do during the very first meeting in business. He heaves a sigh and tell himself that whatever is supposed to happen, he is here to meet the client, which Yunho told him that this client was pretty potential. This main task is to make the project a success.

 

“Annyeonghaseyo, Mr. Choi!” He bows. “I’m terribly sorry for my poor manners earlier. It’s just- just-“ He stutters a bit. Nervousness has gulfed him. He bites his bottom lip again, which earns an intense stare from his client to his lips. Mr. Choi swears that those wide puffy lips must be very delicious. Changmin continues without looking at his client in the eyes as his head is still hung low in a way of giving respect, “It’s just—er…I didn’t expect that it would be you.”

 

As soon as the last sentence finishes, he realizes another mistake of him.

_Oh, Changmin. You stupid. Who else you wish your client to be? What an impolite greeting you made._

 

He mentally smacks himself for that.

 

“My sincere apologies for all the inconvenience. Please don’t take my last sentence wrong.” With another respectful bow, he quickly apologizes again with an awkward, convincing smile. “I meant I’m very surprised that you are my client.”

 

And now the young man is waiting for the response from his client. He is now looking at his client in the eyes, praying to whatever God out there to convince his client to have not taken his words wrong.

 

“Not a problem at all. Come in, please.” The bigger man but a bit shorter than Changmin invites him into his apartment with polite gesture. He wears his never-die-killer smile there to Changmin.

 

That makes the lanky man relax but more awkward at the same time. That killer smile and unreadable expression on his client face are quite not accommodating him. Nonetheless, he enters into the apartment after his client gesture to him to come in. “Thank you.” He mumbles with a polite smile, hoping that would ease another embarrassment he just caused a moment ago.

 

His client returns a smug and closes the door after he is already in the apartment.

 

Mr. Choi follows his guest from behind and then leads the guest to the living. “Would you fancy any drink?” He asks while gesturing Changmin to have a seat at the black leather plush couch.

 

“Water, please. Thanks.” Changmin gives a polite smile again with a little bow. And Mr. Choi nods with a smile, then leaves him to the kitchen section.

 

Changmin isn’t sure if he should need any drink but his tongue moves faster than his head. Maybe water is best for him now. Maybe after drinking water, his nervousness will follow the water to his colon. That’s what he hopes because this is very awkward for him. He feels that he is quite unlucky. Yunho has just rejected him, and yet he could not go anywhere because they are colleagues. He has embarrassed himself enough the other day because he bumped into a man at the entrance of the café while he was supposed to be at a cashier counter. And today at this moment, he is having a meeting with the man he bumped into for a pilot project, which his important mission today is to get his client to sign a contract for this very precious pilot project. But he isn’t sure how to handle two embarrassing things with these two men. He sighs, and if he was not at the client’s place, he would scream and cry to release his frustration.

_You were an idiot so don’t be one again._ _You never screw any task so_ _don’t screw this, Changmin. Never._

 

He nods to himself as he is virtually promising himself. He gives himself a deep breath to calm his nerve and to regain his composure.

_Forget all the embarrassing moments, Changmin. Put those aside. Whatever, you have to get this job done well. At least, you have to get client consent for the contract. After that…after that, you can think about what to do later._

 

He give himself another nod and a firm smile.

 

His client gets back with a tray. Two glasses of water and two glasses of apple juice.

 

“I think you should drink some juice after the tiring day at the work.”

 

He places one glass of water and one glass of apple juice in front of Changmin.

 

“Thank you, Mr. Choi. You don’t need to, really.” He is a bit hesitant and awkward. Oh, how could he manage to be composed when his savior is doing this to him?

 

“Call me Siwon,” his client demands. “I feel more comfortable that way.”

 

Changmin nods softly. “Okay, Siwon-ssi.”

 

“No, just Siwon.” He demands again, more firmly this time. “And I hope you wouldn’t mind if I call you Changmin."

 

“Oh, no, I don’t mind at all. That would be my honor.” He manages to reply nervously.

 

“Shouldn’t you take a sip of the drink first? I would find myself impolite if I keep my guest tired.” Siwon says humbly, no flirting.

 

Changmin nods, and choose to drink water. And then he remembers that this Choi Siwon is a bit of a playboy. Oh, god. He is in his apartment alone and now he is drinking this water. He is praying that nothing is in the water or the apple juice. He suddenly finds himself very ignorant. He has heard about this person like forever but he has never cared to look at his look, and not only him but also Kyuhyun. Maybe because both of them are into gay, so that’s why they don’t care about straight guys. But now he is not sure if Siwon is straight or not, especially from the way Siwon is staring at him.

 

He swallows his nervousness, tries to stay composed as much as he can. Whatever, he is already here. If he is meant to be eaten by a tiger, then there is no way he can back off now. And suddenly his phone bursts ringing. He checks the caller ID. It’s Yunho. He decides to reject the call, as he feels that it is very impolite to talk the phone before the meeting starts. But his phone starts ringing again, he looks at his phone and then to his client.

 

“May I answer my phone?” He asks nervously.

 

“Go ahead.” Siwon replies with his killing smile.

 

Uh, Changmin is getting even more nervous.

 

“Hello?” His voice is very soft, and very unsure.

_“Hello, Changmin! Where are you now? Are you alright?”_ Yunho’s voice sounds very concerned. Changmin isn’t sure of what he should answer.

 

“I…ummm…I’m with the client now. I haven’t got lost, no worries. I gotta continue the meeting now. Bye.” Changmin quickly disconnect the call, as he is so nervous now. He turns to his client and smiles awkwardly, “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. Is your boyfriend worried about you?” Siwon asks. Of course, he is curious.

 

“Oh, no. He is not a boyfriend. I have no boyfriend. He is…he is my supervisor, the person you exchanged e-mails with this morning.” Changmin explains, still feeling awkward and nervous. He knows that Yunho is a caring person but somehow he wishes that he can stop showing his care anymore, well, at least for a while because this way, Changmin can manage to move on faster.

 

“I thought he was your boyfriend. The way he spoke with you was very caring and concerned. Your supervisor must be a very sweet person.” He comments, eyeing Changmin tenderly.

 

“He is.” He smiles, a bitter smile because he surely gets confused the way Yunho treats him. Not to mention what they did together. He tells himself to never do such things with Yunho again. Never ever. He doesn’t want to be hurt again. “Well, why don’t we start our meeting now?” He suggests his client.

 

“Okay.” Siwon smiles but he seems thinking about something.

 

“According to the e-mail, you said you wanted to renovate your apartment. Probably, you wouldn’t mind to tour me around first so that I would have the idea of how to renovate your apartment.” He suggests.

 

“Great! Follow me then.” Siwon answers with a beam.

 

The apartment tour starts off from the kitchen, build-in bar, living room, master room, guestroom, toilets and lastly terrace. After the tour they gets back to the couch again. Changmin is thinking a bit before giving his opinion.

 

“I’m not quite sure how you want to renovate your apartment because frankly, the design is quite superb already. Maybe you wouldn’t mind to let me hear the purpose of the renovation?”

 

Siwon nods a bit with his considering smile. “To be honest, I have just moved in here for about 3 months. The design was the very main reason for me to pick this apartment but recently I have wanted to make my apartment to be friendlier.”

 

Changmin nods but does not say anything. He waits for his client to continue.

 

“I have…” Siwon looks at Changmin a bit before he continues as if he is asking for permission from him. “I suddenly want to make my apartment to be friendlier in a way that another person can stay here with me.” He eyes Changmin again.

 

Changmin hums. “So you are saying that you would like to start like…like a couple life here?” He confirms, not judging.

 

“You may say so,” Siwon seems to agree, and eyes Changmin again. “But again this person is a bit… a bit special to me.”

 

“Your fiancé?” Changmin asks out of curiosity.

 

Siwon does not reply but gives a shy smile so Changmin nods in a realization that the person must be his client’s fiancé, or at least future fiancé. Some part of him is a bit envious of the person. He has heard that Siwon is a playboy who keeps changing girlfriends more frequent than changing clothes, so seeing that Siwon is serious in this matter, he believes that this person must be really important to his client. He is happy for that girl; he also hopes that that lucky girl and his client will spend the rest of their lives together, which he himself always wishes that he could meet a person that he wants to spend the rest of his life with but sadly, the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with had rejected him. All of sudden, he remembers some guys in the past who were trying to impress him, and he believes that they must have been hurt the same way he is feeling now.

 

“Changmin?”

 

His client calls him and the train of his thought is cut off. “Yes?”

 

“Well, you seems you were somewhere else,” Siwon looks at with concerns in his eyes.

 

And that moment Siwon reminds him of Yunho, the concerns in his eyes. “I’m terribly sorry. I was just happy for your fiancé. She must be a super lucky person out there.” He smiles, hoping that this could ease the awkwardness he just caused.

 

Siwon laughs awkwardly, “I’m not even sure if that person would accept my proposal yet.” He uses his one hand to stroke his neck and not eyes Changmin at all this time.

 

Changmin nods in understanding. “So tell me about the personality of the person and also her favorites too.” Changmin suggests.

 

Siwon looks up at him, thinks a bit before reply. “That person has the same personality as you do.”

 

Changmin is a bit surprised hearing that but he then realizes that there is nothing to be surprised about since his best friend Kyuhyun has the same personality as him too but only some thoughts are different.

 

“And that person’s favorites are the same as yours too.” His client adds and Changmin nods.

 

Okay, so maybe that would be easier for him to suggest the idea of the design, he guesses; but he will make sure to discuss everything with his client, not decides everything on his own, so that everything can be compromised. And he feels a bit amused that there is a person out there who has the same personality and favorites as his. But again he is not in the position to judge, he is here to negotiate and convince his client to make the contract with his company.

 

Seeing Changmin is silent, Siwon asks “Is there any problem?”

 

Changmin waves off his hands in the air and shakes his head too, “No problem at all. I’m just a bit surprised that your special person has the same personality as I do and has the favorites as mine.” He flashes his sweet smile to assure his client, knowing that it always works.

 

“Oh, I see.”

 

“Siwon-ssi-“ Siwon looks at him hearing him adding he honorific, so Changmin corrects himself, “Siwon, I think I have the idea of how to put up the interior design for your apartment but I would appreciate if you could go through the sample designs I brought with me to assure that it would come into compromise.”

 

Siwon gives a thought a bit before nodding. He thinks that it is not bad at all, especially when he has a chance to get to know his service provider more.

 

“Surely, I would be glad to go through them with you.” He gives his handsome smiles, which the lanky man believes that this is the reason that many girls come to him even with the knowledge that he is a playboy.

 

“Thank you. Then let’s start.” Changmin flashes his sweet smile back, and they start going through the magazines, which all the way going through them, Changmin suggests the colors, the furniture, and arrangement, and he also suggests some plants and flowers as for decoration. Siwon nods along and asks some questions where he thinks that his understanding is not clear enough.

 

After like 1 hour and a halft or so, they finish their discussion. Siwon shows his delight mood on all over his face, which earns a very delight mood from Changmin too. Now all he waits for is Siwon to say about signing contract. He is very positive that Siwon will say YES.

 

“I’m very satisfied with our discussion, Changmin. I will e-mail your boss about the contract signing after our discussion today. I want to make it tomorrow afternoon.” Siwon says with his big smiles on his lips.

 

“Thank you very much, Siwon. I’m very glad to hear that you are satisfied with our discussion. And I will draft the design for your review by tomorrow when you come for the contract signing,” Changmin says with his big smiles too.

 

“But I have one condition for this work.” Siwon says, looking at Changmin to assure if this would hurt him.

 

“Go ahead.” Changmin says with a polite smile.

 

“I want you to come here to work with me when you work on the details because I want to make sure that everything is in compromise.” He still looks at him, waiting for the response from the other man. “And because I have several businesses to take care, the only time I have is after office and/or weekend. Or I would just invite you whenever I have space from my works.” He adds.

 

Changmin thinks a bit before nodding. “It isn’t bad anyway. So can we call it a deal?”

 

Siwon laughs. He thinks that he should be the one who said that line. “Yes, a deal and your dinner will be always on me since you work overtime here.” But he earns a shaking head from Changmin so he demands, “I’m serious. It would be a poor manner of me if I starve my guest.”

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

 

Changmin thinks a bit before nodding. “It isn’t bad anyway. So can we call it a deal?”

 

Siwon laughs. He thinks that he should be the one who said that line. “Yes, a deal and your dinner will be always on me since you work overtime here.” But he earns a shaking head from Changmin so he demands, “I’m serious. It would be a poor manner of me if I starve my guest.”

 

“But it’s my work and you are my client.” Changmin argues, pouting a bit.

 

And that pout… that pout… Siwon wants to do something to those pouting lips. But he decides to shake that feeling off.

 

“I’m your client but you are my guest here in my house. And today dinner, please give me an honor to have it here too.” His client gives him a stern look, telling him that every word he says is serious.

 

Changmin has no choice. It is a bit weird that the client demands to feed the service provider but it’s for the sake of the work. Maybe Siwon is a gentleman at some extend, and maybe he is feeling bad that he asks him to work overtime at his place that’s why he feels oblige to offer him dinner.

 

Changmin isn’t sure but yes, he tells himself that it must be the reason. “Okay. Thank you very much for this kind offer.” He smiles but he isn’t sure if his tone is convincing his client that he is really okay with that.

 

“Thank you very much for accepting this project and to work together with me.” Siwon says, wearing a very big smile in his lips.

 

Siwon reaches out his right hand for a handshake with the young man. Changmin smiles back, and reaches out his right hand to accept the handshake.

 

Changmin isn’t sure anymore if it should be him to say that line because it seems Siwon is so excited now as if he wins a big jackpot. Oh, right. Changmin knows now of why. Because Siwon’s future fiancé has the same personality and favorites as he does, so Siwon is happy because everything will be satisfying his future fiancé well. Well, that’s what Changmin thinks. Yes, that’s should be the case. He gives Siwon an assuring smile back, which is also to himself.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

It’s now 11pm and Changmin finds himself a bit tired even after very nice dinner from Siwon. He was astonished seeing that Siwon cooked the food and came up with all the preparation and everything for dinner. A side that Changmin never expected from a playboy. But then again, Changmin thinks that maybe that is one of the reasons that many girls have fallen for his client. He would fall for this man too seeing how sweet and well organizing this man is.

 

Unfortunately, Siwon isn’t gay.

 

Unfortunately, he has fallen for Yunho. And more unfortunately, Yunho has rejected him.

 

Siwon insists in seeing Changmin off at the entrance of the building. He in fact wanted to drive his guest home but Changmin politely rejected. The younger thought that it was too much, though he realized his client was trying to be a very gentleman. So they both had come into agreement that Siwon could see Changmin off at the gate of the building his apartment resides. That’s for today, according to Siwon’s mind.

 

They are now walking to the gate. Changmin bows and mumbles the words _Thank you_ to his client and is looking for a taxi. Suddenly, there is a familiar car coming to Changmin. The window rolls down, revealing Yunho driving.

 

“Changmin!” He calls, earning a startle from the younger.

 

“Yunho?” Changmin is kind of dumbfounded. He didn’t expect his boss to be here.

 

Siwon looks a bit bewildered seeing a guy in the car and then he looks at his guest. “He is your boss?” Siwon asks Changmin.

 

“Ah-Ye-yeah” Changmin stutters, still dumbfounded from the sudden appearance of Yunho.

 

“Jung Yunho-ssi that I exchanged e-mails with this morning?”

 

Changmin nods, and Yunho gets off the car to greet Siwon. They shake hands and mumble _Nice to meet you_. But both of them don’t seem feeling glad to see one another.

 

Yunho turns his attention to his subordinate, “I passed by here and saw you, and it seemed you were looking for a taxi so I guess I should give you a ride.” Yunho reasons his sudden appearance. The lanky man’s mouth forms _Oh_ as an understanding.

 

But Siwon doesn’t buy that reason.

 

“Such a nice boss! I thought you had been waiting for him down here.” Siwon throws an unexpected comment, earns a startle from his guest and a glare from Yunho.

 

Changmin decides to break the tension. “Yunho-ssi, it’s getting late now. I want to go home now. Let’s go.”

 

Yunho nods and opens the car door at the passenger seat side for Changmin.

 

“Siwon, thank you and goodnight!” Changmin smiles awkwardly.

 

“Goodnight!” Siwon smiles back.

 

Changmin gets into the passenger seat. Yunho closes the door and proceeds to driving side and then drive off, leaving Siwon looking at the car from behind.

 

 

 

On the way to Changmin’s apartment, both of them have no any word exchange. It is so deafeningly silent, so that Changmin gets to have goosebumps. He feels something from Yunho, something that Changmin cannot put into words.

 

Yunho initiates to see Changmin off at his apartment door but still not mention anything yet. When they are now in front of Changmin’s apartment door, Changmin turns to Yunho to thank him for giving him a ride.

 

“Are you not going to invite me in?” Yunho asks. “It’s pretty late, so I guess you should cook some late night snack for me and a cup of tea too.”

 

That’s not what Changmin expected. He really wants to yell at Yunho for behaving this way to him. He has been confused with the way Yunho behaving at him for all these times. He heaves a sigh and decides to unlock his door, Yunho follows him in.

 

“You probably wouldn’t mind if I spend the night here.” Yunho throws another comment, earns the rolling eyes from the younger.

 

Changmin isn’t sure how he should behave around his crush-who-just-rejected-him-this-past-Friday-night. The night must be really long, and Changmin tells himself to sleep on the couch of the living room.

_Kyu, I’m in a damn situation now._

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Around 3pm, Siwon has arrived at Yunho’s office for the contract signing. Changmin is there too, presenting his interior design draft, before the contract session. The atmosphere is quite tensed more than Changmin had thought. Of course, Yunho is a good businessman; he knows how to play it well but not today, not after Siwon informed him that he would bring Changmin with him after the contract is signed.

 

Yunho wants to punch Siwon in the face for calling ‘Changmin’ in a very intimate way. He is angrier when Changmin calls this playboy ‘Siwon’ as if they have been knowing one another for years. He has warned his subordinate that this Choi is a playboy but it seems his subordinate has thrown his warning into the trash-bin. He gets mad because Changmin does not realize how worried he was yesterday, after knowing that Changmin had to have a meeting at that playboy’s apartment. He hurried leaving the office as soon as he finished his last task, and had starved himself while waiting for the younger outside of the building. He felt that he had embarrassed himself enough when the guard kept looking at him as if he was a bad person or so.

 

After the contract has been signed, Yunho and Siwon shake hands again.

 

“Thank you very much, Mr. Choi for choosing our company to work on this project. We surely will do our best.” Yunho says diplomatically, though he is not really happy at all. He believes that it must be the biggest mistake he has ever made.

 

“You are most welcome, Mr. Jung. I’m more than happy to be able to have Changmin to work on this renovation project for my apartment.” Siwon replies with a quick affectionate glance at the younger. His smile never fades away. “I must say, if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t decide to come for the contract this fast.”

 

“You are too kind, Mr. Choi. And yes, Changmin is one of the most potential staffs in our company.” Yunho manages to wear his toothy smile.

 

“I believe so after seeing how much you cared for him yesterday. He must be the priceless property for your company. I even thought you were his boyfriend if Changmin didn’t deny that.” Siwon comments, and then winks at Changmin, which earns a blush on Changmin’s cheeks.

 

Yunho is a bit annoyed but smiles still. Siwon is really something. And wait, why is Changmin blushing that easily from just a wink from Siwon?

 

“I would like to inform you again that he’s going to stay late at my place again because I promise treating him dinner, owing to his overtime work at my place. I bet he has informed you about this. And it’s going to happen until the project is finished.” This time Siwon shows some unreadable smile, a smile that Yunho can’t guess at all.

_What? Changmin has to work late at his place? Like every single day too?_

 

Yunho bites his tongue to not comment anything sour. Yes, it was him who talked to Changmin about this project but he really didn’t expect that it would turn out this way. He manages to smile again. “Of course, he did inform me last night when I was at his apartment.”

 

That comment from Yunho earns a raising brow from Siwon. He seems to think a bit and then nod with an unreadable smile again.

 

Changmin feels that he is in the middle of a war. He isn’t sure of why he feels this way but his instinct tells him that both of them are in a war of something. Somehow the lanky man doesn’t want to care anymore. He doesn’t want to know why both of them play stabbing words but who is he to care? Yunho is his supervisor and Siwon is his client. He has only one responsibility- to do best for this project so that Siwon can keep coming to his company for the future project. Still, he wishes that they could end this game soon.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

On the way in the car with Siwon, Changmin does not initiate any conversation if his client does not ask. He is still in the uncertain mood. His client is very unpredictable, and he starts to feel that it seems Siwon has something against his supervisor and vice versa. Siwon is driving the car himself, just so somehow he wonders if Siwon has to drive a car himself because given the title of Siwon, he should have a chauffeur to drive for him. Siwon plays Jazz music while he’s driving. He is wondering if Jazz is one his favorite music, and suddenly he remembers Siwon also played Jazz music during their yesterday dinner.

 

Well, he likes Jazz too. So he has nothing to complain about.

 

“Changmin, mind to do shopping with me? I’ve run out of food.” Siwon asks with a brief look on Changmin’s face before turning his attention to the road.

 

“I don’t mind. That would be fun.” He replies with a sweet smile.

 

He thinks that maybe he will be able to buy something for himself too. He just remember that last time he shopped with Kyuhyun, he didn’t buy any vegetable or meat at all. Yes, anything for cooking at all because he was still in his broken hearted state.

 

“Thank you,” Siwon flashes his famous handsome smile, which earns another smile from the younger.

 

The shopping takes around an hour, and it ends up Siwon pays for Changmin’s purchase too. The younger man starts thinking that maybe Siwon isn’t a playboy at all. Maybe Siwon is just a bit of a carefree person, and that maybe for all these times, Siwon hadn’t met the girl he wanted to spend his life with for real, that’s why he keeps changing girlfriend. And from the meeting yesterday evening, when Changmin saw how seriously Siwon put his effort to please his future fiancé, Changmin starts having another opinion towards his client. Maybe Siwon is not a playboy anymore.

 

It is somehow embarrassing Changmin that Siwon treats him rather like a girl. Yes, Siwon behaves himself a gentleman like opening the car door for Changmin, and carrying all the stuffs including what Changmin bought. Well, somehow it reminds Changmin of his first ex-boyfriend when he was in high school. He wondered what and where his first ex-boyfriend is doing right now. He regretted for being a coward. He had asked himself if that time he had accepted the distance relationship, then what would be happening to him and his ex-boyfriend right now? Would they still be in relationship? He knew that after his ex-boyfriend left, he could never bring himself to love anyone, except Yunho. And the thought of Yunho makes him sad.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

They are now in Siwon’s apartment again. They are not able to start the work right away as they both are soaked with the rain. It didn’t look like it would be raining but well, as soon as they both left the shopping mall, the rain started pouring down heavily.

 

Siwon quickly searches for a pair of loose pants and a T-shirt for his guest to change when they both reached his apartment. He asks his guest to have a shower in the guestroom while he does his in his own room. Siwon has himself a pair of loose sweat pants and a T-shirt too. He comes to the living room but there is no sight of his guest, so he knocks the door, worried if something may happen to his guest. Opening the door, Changmin appears with a towel hovering over his head still. The sight of freshly showered Changmin with some water droplet from his hair dropping makes Siwon stare at him breathlessly with a little pink shade on his cheeks. The younger man didn’t realize at first but then he sees his client looking at him without a blink, he starts realizing that he must have done something improper.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t see any hair-dryer, so I used this towel to dry my hair instead.” He says with apologetical tone, unsure if he had offended the house owner. He bites his bottom lips waiting for the reply from his client.

 

“Oh, no. It’s not a problem. It’s my fault, I should have known that there was no hair-dryer in this room. I’ll get one for you.” As soon as he finished his sentences, he quickly goes to his room and get back with a hair-dryer and a bottle of hair-care product.

 

“Maybe I can dry your hair for you?” Siwon suggests.

 

That throws Changmin a little startle. He didn’t expect anyone to do that for him, except that person. “Oh, no. You shouldn’t bother yourself with that. I can do myself.” The tips of his ears turn red.

 

Siwon looks at him for a little while, which it feels like forever for Changmin. After a bit of thought, Siwon hands the hair-dryer and the hair-care product before drying to his client.

 

“Okay, then I’ll make us some hot ginseng tea and some snacks too. Take your time.”

 

He smiles before leaving the dumbfounded Changmin in the room looking after his disappearing into the kitchen. Changmin tilts his head as if he tries to think of something a little bit then he shrugs off.

 

After like 15 minutes or so, Changmin comes to the living room. It’s his second day at Siwon’s apartment but he does feel very familiar with his apartment now. He wonders if actually it’s because he has spent long hours at this apartment. He looks over to the kitchen counter and sees that his client is still busy in the kitchen so he proceeds his way to the kitchen, thinking that maybe he could help something. Seeing how Siwon works in the kitchen makes him miss his first love. He would say Siwon does reminds me of his first love a lot. He was pampered like a princess when he was with him. And he’s still a coward to admit out loud that he still misses him every time he passes by the places they used to spend time together.

 

_If you were not a coward, you would be the luckiest guy in the world Changmin. You deserves to be broken hearted like that because you broke his heart too._

 

He shakes off the thought, and turns his attention to the man in the kitchen. All of sudden, he wants to see that lucky girl. The girl that Siwon has put so much effort in order to please her.

 

He heaves a sigh, knowing that his heart is so troubled at the moment. If he keeps letting his heart be rampant like that, he would go crazy soon. He doesn’t want to feel miserable more than he already is now. He gives himself an assuring smile before approaching closer to his client.

 

“May I help something?” He asks softly, not wanting to startle the older man.

 

Siwon turns to him and smiles brightly. “Well, I’m done here so maybe you can help with the tray of tea set?”

 

“My pleasure.”

 

Changmin carries the tray of tea set, while Siwon carries some snacks to the living room which is several steps away from the kitchen. They place what they carry on the table, and invite themselves to seat on the couch. Siwom pours the tea for Changmin and invites him to drink while he makes for himself too. They start eating the snacks too. It is just some biscuits and dried fruits, good for tea and energizing them

 

After a short while, Changmin feels better. At least that what Siwon thinks. He does not ask anything to his guest but he has observed him. It seems his guest has many things on his mind. He wants to tell the younger man that he can always lend his ears if the younger likes but at the second thought, he thinks that it would be a little too quick to be that friendly. He keeps staring at his guest absentmindedly, till the younger man feels a bit uncomfortable.

 

“Do I have something on my face?”

 

Hearing the question, Siwon snaps back to the reality. Oh, he must have made his guest feeling uncomfortable. It is kind of rude when you keep staring someone too much.

 

He waves his hand in the air with a little shake of head as a sign of no. He smiles a bit sadly, “I’m wondering who could be that lucky person.”

 

“Yes?” It gives Changmin a bit puzzle because it seems thing is a bit off.

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

 

“Do I have something on my face?”

 

Hearing the question, Siwon snaps back to the reality. Oh, he must have made his guest feeling uncomfortable. It is kind of rude when you keep staring someone too much.

 

He waves his hand in the air with a little shake of head as a sign of no. He smiles a bit sadly, “I’m wondering who could be that lucky person.”

 

“Yes?” It gives Changmin a bit puzzle because it seems thing is a bit off.

 

Siwon shakes his head. “Just forget that. I guess my brain is in a mess so I must have said something nonsense. Please forgive me for that.”

 

“Oh.” Changmin does not know what to reply. He chews his lips thinking if he should say anything to comfort his client but he isn’t sure if it’s the right thing to do. He and his client have just met 3 times including that embarrassing incident. So he doesn’t want his client to feel that he is nosy.

 

_Maybe he has some fights with that girl?_

 

He thinks it must be something related to that girl because Siwon said _I’m wondering who could be that lucky person._

 

“Umm, Siwon, do you want to take a look at the draft design I made? Because it seems you were not able to look at it thoroughly earlier.” Changmin hopes that would lift the situation now.

 

Siwon nods. “Yeah, that’s great. I was kind of a bit…” He looks at Changmin, thinking of what to say properly but then he shakes his head. “Let’s look at it together.”

 

And Changmin pulls out the draft design from his brief case along with some magazines. They start looking at it together. Changmin starts explaining part by part while Siwon nods along.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

After a long discussion, both of them had come into mutual agreement on the design and decoration. And dinner was prepared by Siwon with some helps from Changmin. While helping Siwon with cooking, the old memories with his first love flashes back. He has been on and off the whole time during cooking. Changmin doesn’t want to admit out loud that after spending time with Siwon, he’s found himself missing his first love more than he has. And he has found his apartment very emptier than it usually has. He isn’t sure anymore if it would be a good idea to spend long hours with Siwon. Dinner time is nice because Siwon has kept bringing some topics to talk about food, music and mostly about the renovation of the apartment.

 

It’s pretty late by the time they’ve finished a little wrap-up of the work after doing the dish. Changmin has changed into his earlier working outfit. He is now grabbing his briefcase, preparing to leave Siwon’s apartment. Again, Siwon has insisted driving his guest to his place but Changmin has rejected politely again.

 

“I start doubting if you have criminal acts at your apartment.” Siwon comments while standing up at the same time with Changmin. His face doesn’t show that he is fine with the rejection from his guest.

 

“Why do you think so?” Changmin asks. He’s kind of feeling like his client is a bit funny. What on earth makes his client to think that he commits some crimes at his apartment? He isn’t a type of a person who would let anyone into his apartment. Oh, no, it’s not like he’s going to let his client to come into his apartment because he could drop him at the gate. But still, he isn’t comfortable letting a stranger to know his whereabouts.

 

“Why do you have to reject my request, Changmin? I’m feeling bad here, you know.” He doesn’t want to act childish like this but…but what can he do? He has never been rejected. Well, of course by girls, never. But here, his guest is a boy. So probably, it is a new history.

 

“Siwon, you are my client. And I think it is already very nice of you to offer me dinner and everything. I’m very grateful for your kindness and I don’t want to bother you more than that.” He tries to reason out. He doesn’t want to be impolite.

 

“But I make you stay late. I know you are working for this project but can’t a client and a service provider be friends?” Siwon says a bit firmly. That’s not what Changmin ever expects to hear from a client. He blinks, doesn’t know what to do. “What about you stay here with me while you are working on this project?”

 

“Yes?” It does throw the younger one off guard. Changmin isn’t sure what he just heard. Did he just hear that Siwon wanted him to stay over at his place? He looks at his client bewilderedly, isn’t sure if he should trust his ears.

 

“You see, it’s now almost 12am. By the time you reach home, by the time you finish shower and everything, I guess you go to bed very late and you have to get up very early. And you also have to go to work in the early morning. Changmin, I’m feeling bad here.” Siwon reasons out pleadingly.

 

Changmin looks at him. And for a moment he sees someone else. A sudden of a memory flashes before his eyes. His first love was looking at him with those pleading eyes, after they spent their secret time together.

_“Min, stay here with me. I don’t want you to tire yourself out just because you have to care about going back and forth. Let’s move in with me, okay?”_

 

“No.” He sort of whispers to himself. “What’s going on?” He whispers to himself again. And he takes a look at his client again. There, he sees him looking pleadingly at him, resembling his first love so, so much. He feels like he could almost cry. If not because of self-consciousness, he may have cry out loud. He gulfed down his no-saliva. He doesn’t want to give in, for some reasons. “Then how about we try to make it by 9pm. It would save me a lot.”

 

“Then when would my apartment finish?”

 

Siwon has become like a child. That’s what Changmin thinks. How can a multi-businesses person be this childish? He inhales, trying to say something that could convince his client. “It wouldn’t take long since we have come into the agreement with all the design.”

 

“Still. You know that I’m a picky person, right? This renovation is very important to me. I want this apartment to be perfect.”

 

That makes Changmin realize that this project is very important for his company. This man is a potential client. But he doesn’t think that staying over at the client place is quite appropriate when the project site is in Seoul, not in the province nor the far place. He has stayed over at the site while working on the project but as mentioned earlier, it was…because it was out of Seoul but here, it is in the same city as his company. He inhales deeply. It’s not quite easy for him. At least he has to consult with Yunho first since he is his direct line supervisor. And for some reasons, he doesn’t think that Yunho would agree with this. He couldn’t put the right words into this but he really feels that Yunho doesn’t like Siwon. Maybe because Siwon is a playboy.

 

“I have to talk with my boss first. I don’t want to make this decision on my own. We have to balance between the work and the consequences.”

 

He hopes that it could at least make Siwon realize that he is not in the position to decide anything. Maybe Siwon has forgot that Changmin is just an operational staff. Upon hearing the reply from the younger one, Siwon gives himself a thought before he replies.

 

“Then let me talk with him directly tomorrow.”

 

“No!” Changmin denies immediately because…because he knows that Yunho doesn’t like Siwon at some level. He could see the facial expression of Yunho when Siwon informed him that Changmin had to work with Siwon like almost every single day. He has known Yunho for 5 years already. He somehow knows this person to some extent, except his feeling towards him. No, Yunho made it clear that he didn’t love Changming that way; he wanted them just to be good friends. But why does sometimes Yunho make him feel like he doesn’t treat him as a good friend only?

 

“Why, Changmin? Only if you don’t want to work together with me. I’ll make everything convenient for both of us.”

 

Seeing that Siwon is quite serious with this, Changmin decides to surrender. He somehow sees someone in this person. His first love. He isn’t sure anymore what he should do.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Changmin isn’t feeling well as soon as the new day hits. He is grumpy. He couldn’t sleep well last night. He dreamt of his first love the entire night. He wonders if actually it’s because of Siwon’s behavior. When he reaches the office, Minho makes a mug of coffee for him. He’s very thankful that he has Minho to lift up his mood sometimes. And then there, Xiumin secretly brings him some snacks with a note **“Cheer up, hyung!”**.

 

He is now working on the last draft that he and Siwon agreed last night, his phone bursts vibrating with 1-message received. The sender is Yunho. He wonders why Yunho has to send him the text quite early in the morning, like a secret lover.

 

<<Meet me in the office>>

 

He frowns a bit before he realizes that last night Yunho had called him and texted him several times. Sometimes, he wants to ask some other staffs who are under direct supervision of Yunho, if Yunho does things like that to them too. But he decides not to do anything because if he does not, that means he hopes that he wants the way Yunho does to him to be kind of special, yet he knows clearly now that nothing special between them. Just good friends.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Yunho appears restless in his office. Looking at his phone after sending out a text to his subordinate. He was barely able to sleep last night. If it was not because of the urgent meeting with his boss, and then a sudden gathering at his parents’ house, he would be able to pick up his subordinate last night. He still doesn’t understand why Changmin acts as if nothing bad would happen. He is sure that everyone knows how infamous this Choi is. A playboy. A total playboy. But why? Why does Changmin take it lightly?

 

As soon as Changmin left with the Choi yesterday afternoon, Yunho couldn’t calm his nerve. He texted Changmin to turn on his GPS so that he could track down whereabouts of his subordinate but it seems his subordinate didn’t read his text at all. Yes, it appeared like that because it didn’t show the “read” report, and worse, Changmin didn’t answer his call. He had waited for the reply as well as the call from his subordinate the entire time but he didn’t receive one. He was restless, and mad too. He believes that Changmin is too young for this society, especially, he is quite defenseless, that worries Yunho even more.

 

The file on the computer monitor is open but it is not being read by the supposed reader. Yunho is still waiting for his subordinate. A moment later, Yunho hears a knock on his door before Changmin appears into his office. He gestures subordinate to close the door. And Changmin does as told. Changmin is in Yunho’s office now.

 

He motions the younger to take a seat, and as soon as Changmin takes a seat, he throws the question.

 

“Why didn’t you reply my text last night?”

 

He looks at his supervisor seeking for the reason why his supervisor has to behave this way. Oh, Changmin feels like he is now dealing with all the aggressive men. What luck!

 

“I was working with Siwon on the draft, and I didn’t hear your call nor your text. I was exhausted. I arrived my apartment at around 1am you know?” He was quite annoyed by the way Yunho treats him. Can’t Yunho stop acting like a boyfriend when he was the one who rejected him?

 

“Don’t talk like you are mad at me, Changmin. I’m the one who is mad at you here.” He huffs. “But wait, did you just say you arrived your apartment at 1am? Why did you arrive so late?”

 

Changmin rolls his eyes. He is not feeling well at all. Last night, he had an argument with this new client, and now he has this argument with his boss in the very early morning at work. Oh, how beautiful!

 

“Don’t need to answer me. From now on, I will pick you from his place at 9pm sharp. Whatever the discussion about, just call it a stop by that hour.”

 

He looks at Yunho. There he goes again, acting like a boyfriend. Asking him why he didn’t reply his text, telling him that he would pick up at this hour, and so on. He doesn’t understand this man. He starts doubting himself of why he fell in love with this man. Oh, he remembers now. Yunho has taken care of him during these 5 years. And…

 

“He asks me to stay over at his place during this renovation project. He will pick me up and send me off to work.”

 

Changmin does not want to prolong it. He believes that he has to tell his supervisor about that.

 

“And you agreed?” Yunho asks with disbelieving facial expression.

 

Changmin shakes his head lightly. “Nope, not yet. I need to discuss this with you. I suggested him to call it a stop at 9pm too but…”

 

“No buts. Make it like that.” Yunho cuts in.

 

Changmin inhales deeply. “He is not as easy as you think. And this project is very important to him because he would like to renovate for the very important person to him too.”

_It’s not like I want to stay with him too, you know._

 

“His girlfriend?”

 

“Kind of”

 

Yunho stays quiet for a while, while Changmin doesn’t care to look at him. He looks out of the glass window as if floating all his troubled mind with the wind outside of the window. Yunho observes his subordinate’s facial expression. His subordinate’s eyes are very bright as they usually are. Wait, he just realizes Changmin’s eyes got swollen a lit and red too.

_What happened to him? Is he being like this because I rejected him?_

 

Yunho inhales a bit, thinking of what to do with this. He takes a glance at his subordinate again, who is still letting his mind fly somewhere else out of window. “I’ll talk to him about that. He can’t keep you exclusively. It’s not like you don’t have any other project to work on.” Yunho talks softly, not wanting to anger the younger man. Well, it doesn’t mean that he is afraid that the man would get mad at him; it’s just he doesn’t like to see the man get mad. He reasons himself.

 

Changmin looks back at him upon hearing his comment. He smiles a bit, a force smile. “I’m glad if you can convince him.” He speaks softly.

_If Siwon were him, then Siwon wouldn’t agree that easily. But Siwon is not him, not my—_

 

“You have to go to Japan with me next week.”

 

Yunho’s words cut his trance of thought. Did you Yunho just tell him to come to Japan with him. Why? “Why?” Rather than a question, it sounds like a confirmation. He feels stupid to ask Yunho that. There, he has that hope again.

 

Yunho balls his fists under the desk and then undoes it, as if he is not sure what to say to his subordinate. “Our boss wants to expand the market there. He would like to have a joint venture with a Japanese company there. And you happens to speak Japanese quite fluently.” He says softly, eyeing his subordinate as if he is asking for his permission.

 

“I’m not a decision maker anyway. What’s the use of me going there?” He replies a bit rough, he knows. But… _Oh, come on, Yunho. There you go again. Bring me to this place and that place with you._

 

Yunho bites his lower lip as if he is biting his tongue not say anything harsh. But no, he is not sure how to say the reason to his subordinate because he is the one who requested to the board to send Changmin to Japan with him. It is true that Changmin speaks Japanese quite fluently but the other reason that he wants to bring Changmin with him is, he wants to make up with Changmin; he wants to apologize to Changmin that he couldn’t return the feeling, and he isn’t sure what to say but he really can’t afford losing him.

 

“I know you are a potential person. Who knows? Maybe you would be assigned to be a branch manager there if the negotiation is a success.” He stills speaks slowly to his subordinate. He has the authority to appoint someone to go here and there with him. In fact, he doesn’t need to explain the reason or whatever to his subordinate but here, he is nervous to die thinking of the reason to convince his subordinate.

 

Changmin looks at Yunho, seeking for the real reason behind what he just said but he finds nothing. Yunho’s face and eyes are not readable.

_Oh, okay. I got it. You just want me to go away from you. That’s good. It’s such a good chance. I don’t need to see you every day again and I don’t need to witness your contradicting behavior either. But Does Yunho want to chase him away that much?_

 

“Okay.” Changmin answers finally.

 

“We leave on Monday evening. So be ready, and arrange your work well.” Yunho says firmly.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

 

Yunho received an e-mail from Siwon with Changmin in copy. He was asking for a meeting to negotiate about the possibility of Changmin staying over at his place while working on this renovation project. Yunho never thought that Siwon would be this bold. He knows that Siwon is a potential client but he doesn’t like to see Changmin that close to that Choi. He already hates very much that Siwon and Changmin call each other without honorific. He remembers Changmin always called him Sunbae when he was an intern at the company. But Yunho later demanded Changmin to call him by his name when they were alone because he didn’t like to feel that distant with this boy. He remembers very vividly when he found the younger boy cried his heart out during an after-party of the company during his internship time. He feels obliged to protect the boy.

 

Siwon arrives the company, and drops by to say hi to Changmin before he proceeds his way to Yunho’s office. His eyes meet Minho’s eyes for a brief moment, and he flashes a friendly smile at him together with a wink, earning questioning looks from the staffs in the office. Only Changmin who does not pay attention to it, as he is still not in well state yet.

 

Siwon knocks the door, and he hears the invitation from the office owner to let him in. He receives the invitation to sit down at the corner of the room, rather than at the desk. There is a set of couch there. Siwon is seated on one couch, while Yunho is seated on another. A secretary come in a tray of water and coffee. She places those for each of them, and leaves the office. Siwon sips coffee before he proceeds to the points.

 

“Mr. Jung, I really wish having Changmin to work on this project exclusively. I don’t mind to pay extra. Double or triple, It’s still fine to me.”

 

Yunho places down a cup of coffee down to the table. He smiles a bit before replying. “That’s very kind of you, Mr. Choi. But I’m afraid it’s hard for us too. As I have told you that Changmin is one of the most potential staffs in our company; that means there are other clients would like to have him working on their projects too. Please understand our difficulty too.” He still wears his business face.

 

Siwon quirks his eyebrow a bit. Looking straightly into the eyes of the person he is talking too. He also places down the cup of coffee. He won’t let Yunho have his way. He smiles gently, a businessman’s smile. “How about I pay it 5 times of the original agreed fee?”

 

“About that…” Yunho seems to think a bit. He cannot just say no to his client. Especially, if the Executive Director, and/or the board know about this, they probably would be very glad to accept that proposal. No matter how much he doesn’t want Changmin to be with this guy, he cannot take any risk, knowing that the big boss wouldn’t be happy. “I have to talk with my boss about that.”

 

“Let me talk with him directly then.” Siwon just doesn’t want to drag it any longer. He just want to make sure that Changmin has to work in his project exclusively.

 

“You don’t need to talk to him. I would accept your proposal but we have to amend the contract.” He immediately jumps in. He can’t let Siwon talk to his big boss. He can’t risk to be questioned because he knows he’s taken it a bit personally. He pauses a bit before continue. “I’d like to inform you that Changmin is coming to Japan with me next week for a whole week. My apologies, we were just informed too.”

 

Siwon gives it a thought after hearing what Yunho just said. Going to Japan for a whole week. He knows it’s not really long but to him, it’s long. Very long. Like really, really long. He looks at Yunho; he doubts if it is the arrangement of this man since he senses that this man doesn’t want Changmin to be with him.

 

“To be honest, I should be informed in the contract, or at least be informed 1 week in advance via e-mail or phone call but this decision is quite a sudden to me.” He looks at Yunho again, and gives it a second thought. “Okay, that’s no problem for me. I have to go there next week too. Maybe, I can work with him some times in Japan. I really want to see the renovated apartment very soon.”

 

“Mr. Choi, I’m afraid—“Yunho jumps in since he doesn’t want his subordinate to overwork in Japan. Plus, he wants to take this chance to make up with his subordinate. He wishes to explain everything to him. But he’s not successful in giving out any reason to this stubborn client. His client cuts him.

 

“I would request for the quick amendment of the contract. Since I have made a big request for him to stay over at my place, then I would make this sudden decision of him going to Japan with you as even to my request. Nonetheless, I do need an amendment, with detail articles and conditions in there. I don’t want other sudden absence of the person in charge of my renovation at all.” Siwon says monotonously. He doesn’t think that he needs to hear any other reason anymore. In fact, he has something to do at his company too but he believes that he could manage it before next week arrives, and he couldn’t feel at east leaving Changmin to be with Yunho alone the whole week. He doesn’t like it even one bit. Just hearing about it makes his chest burning.

 

“Okay, if you would suggest that. Then I would make the amendment of the contract and send it for your review before you sign it again. I’ll make it as soon as possible.” Yunho tries his best to reply politely, though he is burning inside. He agrees with his subordinate now, Siwon isn’t easy as he thought.

 

“Thank you very much for your quick response.” Siwon gives a smug. And Yunho knows very well now that he is defeated.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Changmin ends up leaving with Siwon again, after Siwon finished his meeting with Yunho. Changmin doesn’t need to ask the result. Judging from the look of Yunho, he knows that his supervisor failed in convincing the client. Somehow, he really feels that this Siwon reminds him of his first love a lot. It has been just very few meetings between him and his client but he senses this type of aura from his client. His first love was that stubborn too; once he decided to do something, he would go for it. He would never change his mind.

 

They are now sitting in a Japanese restaurant, where Changmin and Khyhyun came last time, the one Kyuhyun invited Changmin for lunch on an embarrassing incident day. However, Changmin likes it a lot. It seems his client knows him a bit. Yes, he would crave for food now when he is in a bad mood.

 

As soon as they arrive, the restaurant manager quickly comes to welcome them, and informs them that he already prepares the place for them. Changmin takes a glance at his client, asking silently how the restaurant manager know that they would be coming here but Siwon only gives a shrug and a smile. The younger doesn’t care. It’s not like he cares that much for this moment. He only needs food to relieve his frustration.

 

They are seated in a secluded private room upstairs in Japanese style. They start to order this and that but Siwon tries to make things very detail on the food and drink he orders. He wonders if Siwon is this type of a strict person always. And he nods to himself, understanding why Siwon strictly wants him to stay over at his place. He must be that detail and strict to whatever he wants. All of sudden, he wonders if the girl Siwon is about to propose or have proposed would look like. Would she look like an angel like a fine painting?

 

Siwon removes his jacket and his tie, and place them neatly beside him. They both start drinking tea.

 

“I don’t like to feel like I’m actually working when I’m on my break, if you want to ask.”

 

That throws the younger a startle because he didn’t expect Siwon to read his mind that easily. Is he easily to be read that much? He wonders. He smiles and shakes his head. “No. I understand.”

 

“Thank you.” Siwon smiles back. “You should make yourself easy too. We are not working today.”

 

“Yes?” Changmin does not understand. If they are not going to work, why does Siwon bring him from the office?’

 

“I’m going to have another meeting later. A dinner meeting. So this meal is a way to make it up to you because we won’t be able to have dinner together.” He says softly and a bit sad. The voice isn’t really warm as usual.

 

Changmin giggles a bit. No, he is not laughing at his client but he somehow feels nice to be cared like that. So his client is making up to him with this meal because he couldn’t have dinner with him tonight. He never thought he would care at all because to him, he never feels that Siwon is obliged to treat him dinner or anything. He has to admit that he feels much better after there’s another person who is trying to care for him that much, though they have just met.

 

“You are so nice, Siwon. But you don’t have to do that, really.” He tries to be polite as much as possible. He doesn’t want to make Siwon feel that he is offending him. “It is not written in the contract that you have to take care of my dinner or whatever like that. The fact you have been making dinner for me is beyond what I could thank already.”

 

“You are my responsibility.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“You are my guest, so you are responsibility.”

 

Changmin nods. He doesn’t know what else to say. Suddenly, he becomes a responsibility of someone he just got to know, he feels a bit weird.

 

A moment later, Changmin removes his Jacket and tie too. He feels more relaxing. The room is very peaceful with soft music at the back. Siwon and Changmin do not make any further conversation. Once in a while, Changmin sees Siwon checks his phone, types something and then put back. And he repeats that several times. Changmin receives several texts from his supervisor again. He fist ignores because by seeing his name on the monitor, he feels annoyed. He doesn’t understand why his supervisor always acts like a boyfriend when he suggested them being good friends. _Or maybe that how good friends should treat one another?_

 

He seems to agree with his last thought so he decides to check his phone.

 

<<I’m sorry that I couldn’t convince Siwon about not bringing you to stay over at his place *pout*>>

 

Changmin chuckles. He could imagine the pout on Yunho’s face. That bottom bow shape lip would be so kissable- urgh, he slaps himself mentally for thinking about kissing him.

 

<<Changmin-ah, do turn the GPS on, so that I could be sure where you are and I could find you on time>>

 

<<He told me that you wouldn’t stay over at his place tonight, so text me when you almost finish so that I could pick you up>>

 

There are still more messages but he decides to put his phone aside when the waiters bring the appetizers to them. While they start eating the appetizers, the waiters bring more food. Siwon enjoys seeing his guest eating food a lot. Changmin looks like he is in heaven when he is eating. He smiles to himself.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

They have finished their meal, and the waiters have cleared all the dishes. They are now drinking tea again. Siwon takes a glance at the younger one as if to study him before deciding to say something.

 

“Changmin, I’m going to Japan with you too.”

 

“Yes?” He almost spits out the tea, and his eyes have widened unintentionally, like almost pop out of their sockets.

 

Siwon chuckles. He could never feel tired of seeing Changmin. He is too adorable.

 

“Do you know you have responded plenty of ‘Yes?’ this whole time?”

 

“Yes?” This time Changmin isn’t startled or anything anymore but rather like a confirmation.

 

“You are too adorable. No wonder that he was so obsessed and so in love with you.” He smiles but a bit sad this time.

 

“Yes?” Changmin replies softly, not understanding the direction of the conversation this time.

 

“Forget about what I just said.” He shakes his head with a bitter smile.

 

Changmin doesn’t understand this Siwon; this minute he is this playful, and the next minute he is a bit isolated. He wishes he could be a mind reader. But if he really had the ability to read mind, the first person he would like to read would be Yunho because this man is very confusing. And another person too, his first love.

 

After a heave of a sigh, Siwon says, “Mr. Jung told me that you would be going with him to Japan next week. I also happen to have a business to do over there.” He looks at the younger one as if to think whether he should continue, “So I guess we can still work on our project over there. If possible, I would like you to leave on weekend with me. We can come back Sunday evening? How does that sound?”

 

“Yes?” Again, Changmin is still in puzzle. He seems so slow, much slower than his usual self.

 

“Honestly, I don’t like you to stay alone with that Jung.” Siwon says without any amused tone or facial expression so Changmin believes that he is serious of what he said. He looks at him searching for some unknown answers.

_What’s going on here?_

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Siwon drops him at his gate of his apartment after his persistent. Siwon looks at Changmin until he disappears into the lift before he drives off. Changmin tries to drag his feet to walk to his apartment. He texted Yunho that he needn’t have to work with Siwon today, and when Yunho wanted to meet, he replied that he wanted to be alone.

 

After arriving his apartment, he throws his briefcase on another couch not far from the couch he drops his body in. He is quite confused. He hates himself for being unable to stand up for what he wants. It seems he lets Yunho and Siwon have their ways on him. He heaves a sigh, drags his tired hands to rub his face.

_What should I do?_

 

He pulls his phone out of his pants’ pocket, thinking for a moment before texting.

 

<<Kyu, do you want to play game over at my place?>>

 

He presses send button. And a moment later, he receives a reply.

 

<<If you treat me nice wine and food>>

 

He chuckles. Yes, he expected that reply already.

 

<<I have kimbap and soju, and some dried snack too>>

 

He presses send again. He seems a bit happy. Maybe after playing game, he would feel better. And his phone bursts vibrates.

 

<<Get it ready. Be there in 15>>

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

They start playing game but Changmin’s character has died endlessly. Khyhyun throws away the game controller.

 

“No fun.” He turns his face to his best friend, eyeing him seriously. “Tell me. What’s with that long face?”

 

Changmin drops his back entirely on the back of the couch. “Kyu, I’m going crazy.” Khyhyun raises his eyes brows, and Changmin starts telling him what had been going on about his renovation project, about staying over at his client’s place, about Yunho and about the trip to Japan.

 

After listening to his friend, Khyhyun give a thought and then he says, “I hate that Yunho a lot. He still makes things blur. Go with Siwon on the weekend. And honestly, I don’t want you to spend much time with Yunho either.”

 

Changmin looks at the older man for a confirmation. “You think it’s a good idea?”

 

“Unless you want to spend time with that Yunho.” He rolls his eyes, and huffs. “Do you still have feeling for that Jung? Don’t tell me that you still haven’t moved on.” He accuses his best friend.

 

“No. It’s not that I still have feeling for him. I don’t want to have any false hope anymore.” Changmin quickly denies.

 

Kyuhyun looks at him best friend judgingly. “Then why do you not want to go with Siwon?”

 

Changmin isn’t sure what to answer. He isn’t sure about his feeling and he feels trapped in between Siwon and Yunho. Siwon made it clear that he didn’t want Changmin to be with Yunho alone but for what reason, Siwon didn’t say, and Changmin himself didn’t ask too. “I don’t know. I’m confused.”

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

 

 

In the library of his apartment, Yunho is working on some files in front of his laptop on his working desk but then the flash of what happened this morning comes before his eyes. He doesn’t want to admit it but Siwon is really getting on his nerve. And what annoys his the most is his subordinate, Changmin. Yunho finds this young man is too sweet and innocent to the point of _‘stupid’_ sometimes. It might sound harsh but this project manager really feels that way. And he for some reasons can’t help but worry about this young architecture enormously.

 

When the young architecture had to leave with that infamous playboy, Yunho was feeling unsettled. He sent the young man plenty of texts and called him numerous times but the younger ignored him completely. He’s not sure if actually he had offended the younger by any chance. But when the younger man texted him about his arrivals at his department, he felt relieved.

 

_Yunho was sitting in his office alone, facing to the big monitor, seemed to think of something. Then he heard the vibrating sound and saw blinking light from his phone on the desk. He checked the message._

_< <Hyung, I won’t be working with Siwon evening>>_

_It was the message from his subordinate. He smiled happily at the news. Then, he quickly typed back._

_< <Good. Where are you? I’m going to pick you up from there>>_

_The office time almost reached its end, so Yunho could leave office a bit early today. He could work on the files later at home. He could just bring them. Then, he received the reply back from the same young man._

_< <No, thanks. Siwon already dropped me at the gate>>_

_He beamed and quickly typed back._

_< <Then how about having dinner with me? >>_

_He was excited. He wanted to say something to the younger man in person. And that should be done in a private place. The message had popped up. It was from the same young man._

_< <I’m sorry, hyung. But I want to be alone today>>_

_He pouted. What could he do? Force the younger man? He couldn’t do that. Well, maybe next time. Or maybe in Japan as his plan? Yeah, probably. He typed back._

_< <Okay, then. Have a good rest, dongsaeng! >>_

_And a moment later, he received the reply._

_< <Thanks, hyung. You too have a good rest! >>_

 

…and he decided to give the space for the younger, and also for himself.

 

Having to let the young man to work at the heir of Choi Group’s place exclusively is the very least thing that this project manager would ever do. But when it comes to the company, then of course, profit is the main concern. And one of his responsibilities is to increase the profit for the company. He couldn’t bring his personal preference over the company’s benefits. Indeed, sometimes it’s hard to follow your heart. His heart’s troubled at the thought. He heaves a sigh, and closes the files. Maybe a hot shower could help, so he opts to have it. But then his phone rings off. He looks at the caller ID.

 

Jaejoong.

 

Usually, this person rarely calls him up but what exactly happens to bring that person to call him at this time of the night? The project manager is contemplating whether or not to answer. Before he is able to answer, the call disconnects. But then it rings once again. Without waiting any longer, Yunho swipes his phone to answer.

 

“Hello,” Yunho answers nonchalantly.

 

 _“It’s been a while we have talked, and you don’t sound friendly at all to me, Yun-ie~”_ the man from the other line teases.

 

“Cut the bullshit, and hit the point, Jae. I have no time to waste,” the project manager says in annoying tone.

 

 _“Aww, since when my Yun-ie has become this feisty?”_ Jaejoong keeps pushing further with a chuckle from the other line.

“Then, I’ll hang up,” Yunho’s facial expression is evidently annoyed.

 

 _“Wait! Aww, okay, I’ll say it. I was scouted by your company some weeks ago,”_ the man speaks with a bit of exultant tone.

 

“What? My company?” Yunho is kind of shocked.

 

 _“Yep, and I already agreed. We’ll see each other soon~”_ the man says in a sing-song tone.

 

“You gotta be kidding me! You come to work at my company?”

 

 _“I’m sorry but it happens for real. And just for your information, I just want to see some good scenes over there,”_ the voice is a bit of sly and playful.

 

“What scenes?” Yunho can’t believe what he just heard.

 

 _‘What the hell is Jae trying to pull?’_ He speaks in mind, clenching his jaws tight.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Changmin looks at the older man for a confirmation. “You think it’s a good idea?”

 

“Unless you want to spend time with that Yunho,” Kyuhyun rolls his eyes, and huffs. “Do you still have feeling for that Jung? Don’t tell me that you still haven’t moved on.” He accuses his best friend.

 

“No. It’s not that I still have feeling for him. I don’t want to have any false hope anymore,” Changmin quickly denies.

 

Kyuhyun looks at him best friend judgingly, “Then why do you not want to go with Siwon?”

 

Changmin isn’t sure of what to answer. He isn’t sure about his feeling either and he feels trapped in between Siwon and Yunho. Siwon made it clear that he didn’t want Changmin to be with Yunho alone but for what reason, Siwon didn’t say, and Changmin himself didn’t ask too. “I don’t know. I’m confused.”

 

Kyuhyun narrowed his eyes at his befriend, “Tell me Chwang. Is there anything more than what you just told me?”

 

Changmin looks at the older man. He gulfed down his nervousness. He is not sure what he should start or say, “I’m confused about the way Yunho-hyung treats me, and I’m confused myself more when I’m with Siwon.” He looks really miserable and unsure like a lost child who couldn’t find his parents, and Kyuhyun swears he rarely sees this side of his best friend. Changmin continues, “When I’m with Siwon, I’m feeling like he reminds me of Dongwook.”

 

The news is kind of new to him. _Why does Siwon remind his best friend of Dongwook?_ “Why is that so?” He finally asks; this time Khyhyun does not make any fuss anymore. He asks softly, as if afraid that if he spoke louder, it would break his best friend.

 

It takes some minutes for the younger to spill his mind. “He resembles Dongwook. A lot. Yes, a lot… Not in appearance…but rather in his behavior. The way he treats me,” Changmin looks sad and tired yet sentimental. Khyhyun isn’t sure what to say in order to comfort his best friend. He reaches his one hand to squeeze his best friend’s hand as a silent comfort. He waits patiently for his friend to speak more.

 

Yes, he remembers that Dongwook, that Changmin’s first love, a person that made Changmin cried his heart out when they broke up. But Khyuhyun knows that his best friend never hates his first love. Never even once. And he himself never hates his best friend’s first love too. That must sound crazy… Absurd to be exact…but it happens like that. It’s so hard to hate such a person like Dongwook. He feel very sorry for both of them that they couldn’t make it. They were really a cute couple, Khyhyun swears. And he secretly got envious of his best friend that he could get such a very caring and sweet boyfriend like Dongwook. He was so happy for his best friend, even though he himself was not lucky in love. After what his best friend has gone through, he believed Dongwook would make his best friend forget everything and remember only their beautiful moments. He strongly positively thought Dongwook would never break Changmin’s heart but God must have wanted to play Changmin.

 

And after years of being broken heart, Kyuhyun has always encouraged his best friend to try out with someone but his best friend was so stubborn, waiting for his first love only. And when Changmin told him about Yunho, Kyuhyun immediately encouraged his friend to confess the feeling. But God must want to play Changmin again. Who would imagine that project manager would reject his friend after what he had done? And for that reason, Kyuhyun kind of hates his best friend’s boss. He understands that people have the very right to reject someone when they don’t have the same feeling but why did the older man mislead his friend? That’s why he kind of hates him. Just hearing the name or the thought of him makes Kyuhyun want to land his fist in that fucking stupid face of his.

 

After all the sentiments going through all his mind, he feels even sadder and madder for his only best friend now. Why is such a sweet boy like his best friend being treated unfairly like that? At that thought, he feels suffocated, and he imagines how it would like for the younger who is in these shoes right now because he is out of his shoes, and still feeling like damn hell. He closes the space between his best friend and him, and hugs the younger boy. Changmin stays in Khyuhyun’s embrace for a while before Khyuhyun kisses his temple and strokes his upper arm. The tears well up in his own eyes. He wishes he could wash away all the sorrow of his best friend. He tries to blink away his tears not to fall down.

 

Changmin has decided to speak again, “to be honest, I have felt that this apartment has become emptier than usual… Spending time with Siwon… has reminded me of Dongwook a lot… Especially, when Siwon looked at me with those pleading eyes… when he treated me like a princess… That made me really want to cry right then and there before a stranger like him.” The younger mumbles lifelessly, tears sliding his eyes.

 

Khyhyun is still stroking Changmin’s upper arm, drinking all the information that his best friend is spilling.

 

“You know… He even wanted to dry my hair for me,” Changmin continues with all the wet voice, “I had seen Dongwook on and off when I was with him… So I’m scared, yet I want to be with him too…” He buried his face into his friend’s neck, “Kyu, I’m so confused... with myself… with my feeling…with everything.” His tears start rolling on more and more, and his breath hitches and he chokes on his own tears. Kyuhyun uses his thumb to wipe off his best friend’s tears. “I haven’t completely moved on from Yunho-hyung,” Changmin continues again, “and here, I keep seeing Dongwook… seeing him… after all these years of his puzzling disappearance… I have tried my hardest to forget him… and now he’s back…again… without my consent… My heart is so troubled… so aching, Kyu… I thought he has disappeared on me completely… and now he appears again in someone else.” He clutches his fist on the older man’s shirt. Sobbing.

 

This time, Changmin cries harder, just like that particular time that he realized his first love would never come back to him. He has finally cried after trying to block it over and over again when he was with Siwon. But he himself isn’t sure at all if he is crying because of Dongwook or because of him being this weak. He has never loved anyone as much as he loved Dongwook, and he believed that he might have loved Yunho as much as he loved Dongwook, which he was so happy because at least he could move on and that’s why he confessed his feeling but things are never predictable.

 

Khyhyun tightens his embrace, as if trying to tie the tears of his best friend not to roll down. He pulls some tissues for his best friend to wipe his tears and blow his nose. His heart is so squeezed. He couldn’t breathe, seeing his best friend being this broken. He really wants to help his best friend but he doesn’t know what to do. He understands very well how much pain causes a person when one is broken hearted. He had them, years ago. The first one he had, he even committed suicide. If it were not for Changmin, probably he would be a ghost-Kyuhyun by now, not a human-Kyuhyun he is now. He owes Changmin a life, and he remembers that very well. The second time, he broke up with his ex, it was also Changmin who had given up most of the time of his last year at high-school to accompany him because his best friend was afraid that he would commit suicide again. And the third, he still remembers very well when Kyuhyun wanted to stab his soon-to-be-ex-lover with a knife because he had told himself not to torture himself again but unexpectedly Changmin came in to receive that knife in his stomach because his stupid best friend was afraid he would become murderer, and his annoyingly sweet best friend ended up being hospitalized. After that three times of being broken hearted, Kyuhyun has sworn to himself to never go into relationship anymore. He doesn’t want to be broken hearted ever again. And he doesn’t want to cause his best friend any trouble anymore too. It was when Changmin was in his third year in his college. Changmin was barely fine by himself but he always cared for him, and Kyuhyun could never forget the debt he owes this best friend.

 

Changmin has cried himself till hiccups take place.

 

After the long weeping, the younger’s tears dry. Kyuhyun gets up to get some cold water for him. And he cooks instant ramyeon for Changmin, knowing that the best thing that could lighten the mood of the younger is food. He is not a good cook like his best friend, so cooking ramyeon is his best dish.

 

After like 20 minutes, the two best friends start eating late night snacks. Luckily, Changmin has kimchi and some other pickles to be the extra taste for instant ramyeon. The older smiles, relieved seeing that his best friend still has appetite. After they finish their late night snack, Kyuhyun does the dishing, and Changmin goes for a shower.

 

They are now sleeping in Changmin’s only bedroom, on the same bed. It has been the nth time that Kyuhyun sleeps over with his best friend, so he doesn’t have difficult in falling asleep; instead, he usually falls asleep faster when he’s with the younger. They lay side by side under one duvet. The room is dark, only the light from the lamp outside the apartment seeps through the curtain into the room. They both are trying to sleep but it seems not that easy. Changmin opens his eyes, and tilts his head to his best friend.

 

“Kyu, are you asleep?”

 

Kyuhyun still opens his eyes too, “No.”

 

Changmin turns on his side to face his friend entirely, “I still haven’t figured out myself if I should go with Siwon. Or I should just go with Yunho-hyung?” He blinks rapidly, waiting for his best friend’s response.

 

Kyuhyun stays quiet for a while, inhales deeply, and then he sighs heavily. “Accept Siwon’s request. He’s kinda not a bad guy as the rumor says anyway, according to what you have shared with me about him,” He speaks softly and slowly. He continues, “Plus, he isn’t gay.”

 

Changmin laughs playfully a bit before replying, “Do you think straight guy wouldn’t commit any crime to gay?”

 

Now Kyuhyun turns on his side to face his best friend fully too. He makes an evil face with a smirk, “Well, if I were you, I would be super glad to be raped by him.”

 

Changmin rolls his eyes, and makes a disgusted face, “You are so disgusting, Kyu.”

 

They both laugh out loud at the same time. It’s good that now they can laugh. Earlier, Changmin cried his hear out, and Kyuhyun was so scared that he didn’t know what his friend would do. Changmin appears weaker than the older is but he is astonished that Changmin never committed any stupid act when he broke up with Dongwook. They had been in relationship for years but when they broke up, Changmin just only cried and starved himself, not committed suicide like he did. Oh, well, remembered. His silly best friend starved himself to the point of being admitted into hospital. At that time, he was scared to death. However, he admires that Changmin was still that strong. When one person had become like an only world for you, and suddenly your only world left you, you probably wouldn’t have any courage to continue your life.

 

After their laughter dies, Kyuhyun wears a serious face, “But Chwang, believe me. Go with Siwon.” The younger looks at him as if waiting for the explanation. Kyuhyun seems trying to remember something, “The day that you bumped into him at that café, I could see that he was very caring towards you. I couldn’t bring any evident to prove but he didn’t seem he was pretending at all. Moreover, it was purely an accident, so he couldn’t pretend with that swift moment. And you told me right, that he pampers you like a princess just like Dongwook did? Though you are scared, you said yourself you are very happy too when you see Dongwook in him. Maybe it is not really a bad idea to get away from that Jung for a while.” He searches for his best friend’s eyes even in the dark to assure this best friend is listening and to confirm what his best friend was telling him.

 

Changmin nods lightly and slowly as if he is not sure if he should agree.

 

“And min-ah”

 

“Umm”

 

“Don’t question yourself about Dongwook or Yunho during the time you are with that Siwon. Let time prove what it wants to prove. Who knows? Maybe you’re destined to be with someone better.”

 

Changmin nods, and gives a small smile to that comment.

 

“Okay, so goodnight, Chwang. I need to go to work very early tomorrow.” As soon as he finishes his goodnight, he leans to give a peck on Changmin’s forehead, and turns himself on his back, facing to the ceiling.

 

Changmin looks at him in the dark, smiling sweetly. He mumbles _Goodnight_ and closes his eyes to sleep. He is still on his side, facing to Kyu.

 

Secretly, Kyuhyun wishes Siwon loves Changmin, and he wishes his best friend would love the heir of Choi Corporation back too. He wants to see the blooming Changmin like when he was with his first love. He is amazed that his friend has never gone for any fling, yet that also worries him because he’s best friend is that serious when it comes to relationship.

 

The dreamland has welcome them. And the entire night, Changmin dreams of Dongwook, of how they spent time together, of how they showered loves and kisses when they were alone, of how Dongwook liked to have video of his every moves, and their moment sometimes.

_Changmin was sleeping soundly, hugging the body’s pillow dressed in the older’s most favorite shirt, face buried deep into the plush long pillow’s top. And his phone was ringing. He reached out for his phone under his sleeping pillow without opening his eyes. He sleepily checked the caller ID. It was his one and only love. He smiled before answering._

_“Hello, Dongwook,” his voice was groggy._

_“ **Hey, Min-ah! Sleeping?** ”_

_“Yeah,” he smiled, contented hearing his lover’s voice. He closed his eyes back, imagining the body pillow was his lover, speaking next to him._

_“ **I miss you, baby.** ”_

_“I miss you more.”_

_“ **How’s everything there?** ”_

_“Empty and lonely without you.”_

_“ **I’ll get back as soon as I’m done with my errand here.** ”_

_“Good. I miss your touch and your kiss.”_

_“ **Only that? Not something else?** ”_

_“It’s hard for me to sleep without your heartbeat lulling me.”_

_“ **I’ll make love to you so many, many as a make-up when I get back.** ”_

_“Dirty.”_

_“ **But you like it.** ”_

_“Mmm.”_

_“ **I’m so lonely now. New York is freezing. Seeing the snow makes me miss you even more.** ”_

_“Same here. Get back soon.”_

_“ **Before your birthday for sure.** ”_

_“I’ll be waiting.”_

_“ **I’ll get something for you.** ”_

_“You are the best present in my life, my love.”_

_“ **Say that again!** ”_

_“Say what?” Changmin smiled happily, knowing what his lover wanted to hear but he played dumb._

_“ **What you just said before ‘say what’.** ”_

_“My Dongwook is the best present in my life.”_

_“ **I love you, Min-ah.** ”_

_“I hate you, my Dongwook. Come soon so that I don’t need to hate you more than that.” **I love you more than I can say, my love.**_

_“ **I love you.** ” Changmin smiled at the sweet, endearing words of his lover. _

 

….and that was their last conversation in his dream. The tears slip from his eyes.

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Changmin was in his high-school uniform waiting at the entrance of the school. The class had finished at 09:30pm. His best friend said his parents wanted him to be home early today, so he couldn’t wait together with the younger. The boy checked his wristwatch, and heaved a sigh. The school guards were looking at him. He was a bit embarrassed, and scared too._

_‘He said he would pick me up, and here, I’m still waiting.’ He spoke in his mind, looking around with no sign of any other students anymore. They all left. He called, informed his parents that he had to do his homework at Kyuhyun’s place, so he probably would stay over at Kyuhyun’s place. He knew he shouldn’t lie but he had no any other good reason to tell his parents. And he really planned to stay at his best friend’s place after meeting with the older man. He knew he could get to stay over at Kyuhyun’s place just like anytime, any hour. Usually, the older man would never ask them to have a hangout after the evening class. But today, the older man was insisting to have to meet them no matter what. And worse, his best friend was not free to join. So here, he ended up standing, waiting alone like a fool._

_“What is he doing? Is he not coming at all?” He mumbled to himself, fishing his phone out from his pants pocket and searching for a certain contact to call. He was a bit mad. He hated being looked like a fool._

_“I’m sorry to have kept you waited long,” there came a voice. And the high-school boy was startled, and jumped. His cellphone fell off his hand but the older man quickly grabbed it before it reached the ground. “Gotcha~” And the older man handed the cellphone back to the high-school boy, with his handsome smile. Changmin accepted and put it back into the pants’ pocket. “Let’s go,” the older man pulled the high-school boy’s hand, walking to waiting car. The younger boy followed hesitantly._

_He opened a car door for the younger to get in before walking to the driver’s seat. He felt he was a bit petty for not getting mad at the older boy. He should at least have asked him first if anything happened. He made a mental note to be more rational. On the ride where the boy didn’t even know where the older was taking him to, he was not bothering to ask either. He had learned to anticipate surprise from the older ever since they got to know each other. And being a quiet person he was, he didn’t want to talk much either. As always, the older man played Jazz music on the CD player. It was really comforting. A while later, they reached a particular building. The older man drove to the parking lot, and then led him to an elevator. The place was new to him. As soon as, they got into the elevator, the older man punched a certain number._

_The high-school boy looked at the older man, “Why are we here, hyung?” He didn’t want to ask but somehow, he was scared. He was now alone with this older man. Though the said person had never done anything bad to him, he still felt scared. No one could guess anyone’s mind, right?_

_The older man looked at him with his handsome smile, “You’ll see. Just be patient, okay?” The older man pinched his cheek. He nodded, and used his one hand to rub his pinched cheek._

_A moment later, the ‘ding’ sound was heard, and the elevator was opened. They walked out of the elevator. The older man stopped, and looked the high-school boy._

_“Why are you looking at me like that, hyung?”_

_The older man pulled a handkerchief and smile, “Do you trust me?” The high-school boy blinked, and stayed silent a bit before nodding. “Thank you,” the older man said. He blindfolded the high-school boy and took the boy by hand leading to a certain place. The number placed on the door was 1802. The older man punched the code, and entered, leading the high-school boy by hand. Closing the door behind, he continued leading the boy further to a particular spot, opening the glass door, and walking a bit further. The terrace._

_He unfolded the handkerchief off the boy’s face. Changmin blinked his eyes a few times to get used to sudden exposed air. He looked around, and he could see the view across, which there were many tall buildings, and down, there were roads and the traffic. Though it was at night, Seoul was all light and bright. He turned to the older man, looking a bit confused. The wind was a bit cold. Luckily, his uniform jacket was a make-do for this weather._

_“What’s this, hyung?”_

_“I got a new apartment!” The older man exclaimed, and the boy nodded._

_“For?”_

_“My birthday!” The older man exclaimed again, beaming brightly._

_“Your birthday?” The boy blinked his eyes, “Today?” The older man nodded furiously. The boy was still confused. “But why does it seem you’re trying to surprise me when it’s your birthday?”_

_“Do you like it here?” The older man didn’t bother to answer the boy._

_“Why does it matter if I like it or not?” The boy asked, still couldn’t get what the older man was trying to do. The older man didn’t bother to answer again but led the boy by hand back into the apartment, closing the glass door of the terrace. And what the boy saw was, a prepared dinner on the table, drinks, and candles on the candle holder in the middle of the table. Balloons, and birthday hats. He was even confused, “You prepared this yourself, and brought me here? And you didn’t even let me know ahead that today is your birthday. I should at least get some gifts for you.” He pouted, “And Kyu isn’t here to celebrate with us. We three are usually together.”_

_“You alone are more than enough today,” the older said, pinching the younger’s nose playfully. The boy still pouted. “Don’t act so cute. Can you?” The older pinched the chin before leaving a peck on one of the boy’s cheek. The boy rubbed his pecked cheek. His face was evidently appearing shade of red._

_The older man helped removed the backpacked from the boy’s back, placed on a chair, and pulled a chair for a boy to sit down. He lighted the candles before uncovering all the food. Many dishes- steamed chicken, deep fried belly pork, salad and some side dishes. He used the remote controller to play the music on the DVD player. Violin music. He scooped some rice for the boy and himself, and poured fruit juice for themselves before making himself sitting on a chair at the side of the table. They were sitting face to face. He dimmed the light in the dining area._

_“Now, let’s eat. I’m really hungry,” the older man invited excitedly. And he put some food into the boy’s plate before doing the same for himself. The boy bowed and mumbled ‘thank you’ before eating. The wall analog clock also mentioned almost 11pm._

_It was another surprise from the older man that Changmin had learned to get used to. He still couldn’t get to understand of why the older man was so delighted but he made a mental to ask him after their meal. The food was so good. Changmin wondered if they should drink something like Champaign or so since it was Dongwook birthday. He felt bad that he didn’t have any gift for the older man. Ever since they got to be friends, it had been always the older man who paid this and that for them, mentioning him and Kyuhyun were still high-school students. However, he would buy some gifts for the older man. A surprise for him._

_After their meal, Dongwook asked him to stay over at his place. So he had to lie his parents that he would stay at Kyuhyun’s place. A lie. But he couldn’t bring himself to say ‘No’ to older man when it was his birthday. And it seemed the older man was trying to surprise and please him instead._

_He was already in a pair of loose pants and a loose t-shirt after a hot shower, which the older man gave him. They were brand new, according to Changmin’s observation._

_It was past 12am. Well, approaching 1am, to be exact._

_Changmin looked for the apartment owner, and he found him standing at the terrace, looking in the sky. The boy followed, stood by the older man, and looked up at the sky too. The moon was curved, and there were so many blinking stars in the dark sky. He felt a bit chilling from the autumn wind, so he embraced himself. The older wrapped his one arm over the boy’s shoulder and rubbed the boy’s up without looking at him._

_“It’s almost 1am. You should go to bed, hyung,” the boy said softly._

_The older man turned to him and smiled, “Sleepy already?”_

_“Of course, I am.” The boy answered honestly before small yawning._

_“Okay, then,” the young man held the boy’s hand and led him back into the apartment. “But you have to blow the candles together with me before you sleep,” He left the boy to bring the cake from the fridge and place it on the table in the living room area. Pulling the boy to sit down next to him on the plush leather coach, he put a birthday hat for the boy and one for himself too, and then lighted the candles with Changmin’s help. They were 21 candles in Korean age-count. “It’s now the exact time when I was born,” the older man spoke, looking into the boy’s eyes. The boy smiled back, brightly. “Let’s blow the candles!” the young man exclaimed._

_“Shouldn’t you make a wish first, birthday boy?” The boy teased._

_The young man nodded enthusiastically, “You’re right.”_

_“But let me sing for you first, hyung,” the boy quickly said, afraid the young man would make a wish first. He sang a birthday song and clapped along to the rhythm. The older did too. When the song ended, he wished for the older, “Happy birthday to my lovely hyung. Though you are not my real brother, you have treated me more than one. So, may I wish you all the best of the best in everything in your life. May every single of your wishes come true. Be always healthy, cheerful and fantastic as you have always been! Especially, stay handsome like this!” He laughed shyly at his last line._

_“Thank you, Changmin-ie. Let’s blow the candle. I already made a wish when you wishing me,” he winked at the boy, and they both blew the candles. The cake had strawberries and chocolate topping. They removed the candles, and the older cut a piece of cake for the boy. “Here you are!”_

_The boy accepted and scooped a spoon of cake for the older, “You should eat first, birthday boy!” The older obliged happily. And then the boy started eating by himself too. “You haven’t answered all my questions earlier, hyung,” he spoke while munching. And then scooped another spoon for the older again._

_“You haven’t answered mine too,” the older said before accepting the feeding cake._

_The boy didn’t reply. He seemed to think a bit before saying, “Since it’s your birthday, then I’ll answer you first. But what did you ask me? I didn’t remember, hyung.” The boy smiled naughtily before feeling himself another spoon of cake._

_The older looked at him judgingly as if ‘are you sure you forgot my question?’ but he played along in the end, “Do you like it here, this apartment?”_

_The boy fed the older a spoon of cake before answering, “It’s not bad here.”_

_The older glared the boy playfully with a pout and slumped his shoulder, “You are so mean~” But the boy fed him another spoon of cake to shut him up. The older chewed cake with an unhappy pout, and the boy laughed at him gratifyingly. So the older snatched the spoon from the boy and fed him a cake to shut him up too. The boy pouted. The older laughed at him this time._

_“Yah, stop laughing, you evil hyung!” The boy demanded with a glare, chewing the fed cake. “You haven’t answered all my questions yet. Now, your turn!” He demanded again._

_“It does really matter if you like this apartment or not. And the reason I didn’t inform you nor Kyuhyun about my birthday because I don’t want you both to busy yourselves looking for gifts for me. And more importantly,” the older looked at the boy lovingly, “having Changmin-ie by my side to spend my birthday with me from the early minute of it is wonderful, truly wonderful.” He looked lovingly into the boy’s eyes, tracing his finger at cheek, “My Changmin-ie is the perfect gift in my life. I’m not greedy to ask for more.”_

_The boy turned shy at the last words of the older, so he stuffed the older the cake forcefully this time to hide his shyness. But the cake cream was unintentionally smeared to the nose and chin. The older chewed the cake without knowing it, so the boy felt sorry for him. He felt he played a bit much._

_“Sorry, hyung. The cream is on your nose and chin,” he reached his fingers to wipe the cream off the older’s nose and then chin as soon as he finished informing the older and when couldn’t find the tissues nearby. The older grabbed the boy’s hand before the boy, catching the boy off guard. The boy blinked but then the older ate off the cream of the boy’s fingers. The boy cringed, “What are you doing, hyung? It’s—“_

_The older cut the boy with the sudden seal of the lips, sucking the boy’s tongue off. The boy stretched his eyes wide, shocked from the swift act of the older. He tried to push the older away with his hands but to no avail as the older grabbed one hand away, that wiped the cream off the older earlier, and used his other hand pulled the boy closer by the boy’s head and pushed him into the coach’s back when the boy tried pushing him away on his chest by his free hand. Deepened the kiss._

_The kiss smelled and tasted as cream, cake, strawberry and chocolate. Sweet and mild._

_The boy was stiffed and trying to push the older away hard at first but after like a minute or so, he was softened, closing his eyes, letting the older kiss him the way he wanted. The older licked and sucked on the bottom lip for a while before sucking the tongue again. The boy tremble in the kiss, and absentmindedly moaned in the kiss but stopped it when he realized it. The older smirked but still continued kissing him gentle and slow this time. As their lungs became a bit suffocated, the older withdrew the kiss, leaving the boy mesmerized and lost. They breathed heavily. The older licked off the trail of the saliva off the boy’s lips. He stared at the red swollen kissed lips, smiling sexily as satisfied with his work. He pulled the grabbed wrist of the younger to leave the kiss on the back hand lovingly, and then he pulled the boy’s hand on his chest to do the same._

_The boy looked at him, eyes moving, searching for the answer from the older. “Why did you—“_

_The older cut him with the kiss again, pulling the boy’s head into his direction but this time, the boy didn’t push him away. His both hands were on the older’s chest, clutching his shirt. He gave in and returned the kiss. His heart was racing unevenly, beating so fast and loud. It was a gentle and slow kissing but the boy was on fire. A brief moment later, the broke the kiss._

_The older kissed the boy on the lip one last time before looking straight into his eyes. Their faces were inches away from each other. “I love you, Min,” the older confessed, soft and breathy. “I’m madly in love with you,” he spoke a bit louder this time, still breathy and a bit shaky; his racing heart was loud and uneven. “I believe,” the last words were firm._

_The warm breath ghosted over the boy’s lower face. It took him a bit of time to register the information. He searched for the lies in the older’s eyes and checked mentally with himself if he heard wrong. His mind told him that he heard it right and clear. But he wasn’t sure if he could believe that._

_“Hyung”_

_The older shook his head as if denying the unspoken question. “I know it sounds crazy,” he grabbed the boy’s hands with his both hands and stroked the boy’s hands with his thumbs, looking straight into the boy’s eyes, “I’ve been asking myself many times… why I keep on missing you so much… why all I want to see is your face… why all I want to hear is your voice… why all I want is to make your smile… why all I want to see is your smile… why your smile means so much to my day… why I couldn’t resist touching you… why I always want to kiss you so badly… why your innocent touch leaves the lingering feeling there… why your eyes looking at me makes me tremble… why I have a dream of you like every single night… why just a single word in the text makes my day… why I smile like an idiot at the thought of you… why you have this effect on me this much…” He paused as if waiting for the answer from the younger but what he received was the innocent blinks at him, “During these 5 months… not a single day that you were not on my mind… You are constantly there... Min,” he called the boy._

_“Deh?” The answer was innocent yet unsure._

_“I love you more than a brother,” the older man confirmed his words. “Will you be by my side celebrating my birthday with from the early minutes like this…like today…for the next year and years to come?”_

_“Hyung,” the boy blinked innocently, not sure what to say._

_“Don’t you feel the same, Min?” He searched in the boy’s eyes, “if not, then why did you kiss me back?”_

_The boy lowered his eyes to his hands, and he received the squeezed on his hands from the older, urging for his reply. He looked up into the older’s eyes; his chest rose up and down, biting his bottom lip, seeking for the answer in his heart._

_“Be my boyfriend, Min. I’m not sure how good a boyfriend I can be since I have never been in any relationship, nor had any feeling for anyone… but I’ll give you all my best,” the older spoke again after the killing silence._

_No response._

_“Do you mind me because I’m an orphan?” The older asked with small, hesitant voice._

_No response, still._

_The older felt defeated, so he decided to release the boy’s hands. “I understand.” His voice was small._

_The boy used his one hand to pull the older’s head into his direction, and closed the gaps between their lips. “You make me crazy, crazy hyung,” the boy said in the kiss. The older was a bit in shock but smiled a moment he realized he was kissed and the words. He was like an obedient child that moment. “Like I care you are orphan or not,” the boy huffed. The boy let go of him. “You can’t have someone else other than me. This is my condition,” the boy said sternly with a threatening stare._

_“Yes, sir! Always and forever~” The older replied with a big grin, and pulled the boy into his chest, leaving a long, loving peck on the top of his head, “Thank you. Thank you very much, Min.” The younger smiled sweetly and buried deeper into the older chest. “Stop calling me ‘hyung’.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Just Dongwook. Dongwook alone. I want to hear my name being called by your sweet, angelic voice.”_

_“Dongwook~” The boy called shyly with gentle smile._

_“Yes”_

_“I love you.” He buried deeper into the older’s chest after saying the line he felt the most embarrassing one to his ears._

_“Thank you, Min-ah. Thank you for loving me.”_

**_You are the most beautiful gift ever in my life, Min-ah. You have no idea how much I love you._ **

_  
_

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

 

 

**LA, the U.S**

Sitting at a table far across the live performance in The Edison lounge but still could see the performance very well, a man in his early thirty in an Armani brown suit and a lady in her late twenty in Chanel’s black dress and black and white Jacket are holding a glass of cocktail in their hand. There are salad and smoke bacon dishes and French Fried on their table. The lady is playing with the cocktail while eyeing the performance.

 

The man licks his bottom lip playfully after sipping the alcohol liquid in his glass, “It’s really my honor to have a romantic dinner with a hot model like you, Ara-ssi,” he says and uses his fingers to stroke the forearm of the lady flirtatiously.

 

The lady tilts her head to the man direction, put down her alcohol glass, and uses her delicate fingers to stroke the caressing fingers of the man before lifting them to place on the table, “I’m afraid your wife wouldn’t be happy if she sees what you are doing just now, Jaejoong-ssi.” She speaks soft and seductive but not really playfully. She walks her index finger and middle finger up from the backhand of the man to his forearm to his upper arm to his jaw, and then pinches his chin playfully. Her thumb is caressing his bottom lip.

 

Jaejoong grabs the model’s caressing hand to leave a peck and stroke her hand in light flirty mode, “My wife is enjoy herself in Italy, shopping and all. She is not really interested in what and where I’m doing.” His gaze is strongly intimidating as if he is stripping the model with his eyes. “I’m worried about you more since you are a hot celebrity. What if any paparazzi takes some pictures of yours?”

 

The model removes her hand and holds the fork to take some salad into her plate, “As if I care.” She says nonchalantly.

 

Jaejoong chuckles impishly. He picks some smoke bacon and salad into his plate before feeding himself. He smirks mischievously, “What about Yunho?”

 

When the model hears the said name, she gives a look at the man sitting at the same table with her a bit before continuing picking some salad and cheese into her plate, “Do you think he has a say in this?”

 

The man laughs in disbelief, “I guess not.”

 

“He should be thankful instead. If not because of his blessed look, I wonder if he would be offered such a great proposal like that,” the model speaks imperturbably, and turns her attention to the performance. “It happens for you too, right, Jaejoong-ssi?” She adds without looking at the man she speaks to.

 

“What happened to the photographer who was featured in your photos several times by the paparazzi?” Jaejoong says casually, as if not really interested in what he just speaks to the model at all.

 

The facial expression of the model has changed snappishly. She seems to see something vividly flashing before her eyes.

 

_The shutter sound of the camera had been heard over and over again when the model switched her posture from one to another. The photographer motioned her to tilt her head and expose her hip and chest to a sharper angle, and then he nodded with a handsome smile._

_“Great, Ara-ssi. Keep that posture,” the man said before clicking his camera again. “Now, could you just look here with an expression of inviting but cocky?” The model tried to pose her expression and body according to the advice. “Good. Like that. This is the last shot.” The man informed. After the last shutter sound of the camera, the man gave a thumb up, “Thank you. You are the best, Ara-ssi!”_

_The stylist and the shooting assistants came up to the model to help her walk out to background piece. The photographer loaded the pictures into laptop for the model to check later._

_And after changing into her own outfit, Ara came to the photographer to check her pictures. She kept pressing down to see the taken photo one by one, “I love all of them~” She said in exasperated tone. The photographer smiled but didn’t quite buy her unnatural cheerful voice. “I love all my expression in there, Eulkop-ssi.” The staffs chuckled._

_The man forced a smile, didn’t really get used to the nickname the model gave. “I’m glad hearing that,” he spoke humbly. “The Director Lee-nim will take a look at them again later before letting them be retouched,” he added._

_“Cool~” The model spoke in exasperated tone again. “By the way, Eulkop-ssi, are you busy after this? If not, would you like to have dinner with me?” She spoke cheerfully like a middle-school girl._

_The photographer seemed to be a bit uncomfortable with the sudden invitation. “I—umm--- I have—“_

_A call cut him before he could finish his words. He checked his phone, the model looked at the bright screen too._

**_Sarang-ah._ ** _The caller ID._

_The model’s face expression changed abruptly, “You have someone?” She sounded annoyed._

“Did he disappear because he was seen going out with you?” Jaejoong asked with a twerk of any an eyebrow after receiving no answer from the model.

 

The model is brought back into the current time, hearing the question from the man. She schools her expression, “He was just a boring play toy. I don’t know how he is doing anyway.”

 

“I’m just curious. What if I suddenly disappear because I’m seen sitting here with you?” Jaejoong twirls his tongue over his lips playfully, and drink off the mixed liquor in his glass.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

**Seoul, South Korea**

 

 

Yunho is sitting a table near to the glass wall of a bakery, holding a piece of small papers waiting for his order to be ready to pick up. He observes, and he sees that there are many people are waiting. Some tables are occupied by students, and some are occupied by some working people. They seem discussing about something, which the project manager has no interest in at all. He seems to be in his own world, thinking of something in particular. A flash of fresh memory comes before his eyes.

 

_A man in his sixty wearing spectacles and in a black suit is sitting behind the desk opposite of Yunho. There was a position sign on the desk with the name there. Go HooYe, President of A &D Group._

_“Since Kim Jaejoong-ssi is your old friend, I believe it will be easier to have you assisted him during his new arrival here,” the elder said, slow yet firm. “I heard you both have been friends since high-school,” the elder man added with a polite smile._

_“Yes, President Go-nim,” Yunho replied with a bow but his eyes were full of worries.’_

_“Do you have any concern Yunho-ssi?” The elder man asked with a hint of worry in his tone._

_“No, I don’t. President Go-nim,” the project manager quickly replied, “I’m just a bit carried away about the work.” He assured the elder man with his bright smile. Only if people could feel his troubled heart at the moment._

_“Alright, then. Director Song is preparing an office for his next 2-week arrival, so I’ll inform Director Song that he could work together with you for the assistance to Kim Jaejoon-ssi,” the President said with a bit of thought. Then there was a call on his phone, so he decided to dismiss Yunho._

Yunho snaps out of his trance of thought when his name was called. The order was ready to be picked up

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Siwon is sitting in a VIP room of a certain Korean restaurant with a man who looks more like a European. They are in middle of their eating. Numerous of Korean dishes are placed nicely on the table. Soju bottles are also placed on the table; the two men toss their wine cups before drinking, and then continue their meal.

 

“Thank you for coming here, Julien. I’m so grateful for your decision,” Siwon says while picking a piece of pancake.

 

The said man smiles handsomely and shakes his head a bit, “No, Siwon. It’s my honor to have been invited here. You know I have always wanted to work here, right?” Julien says cheerfully while picking a piece of bacon into his bowl.

 

“Still, your decision to come here is indeed a big favor you have done for me,” he says while refilling liquor to Julien’s cup. “Spend your time here in Seoul first before flying to Jeju. I remember you said you want to look for someone. I have told Assistant Park to prepare things for you,” Siwon adds with a bright smile. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t bring you around since I have to clear some works before my trip to Japan.” He says with an apologetic expression.

 

“No, this is more than enough. Thank you so much, Siwon! You are so nice. Really~” The foreign look man makes a high pitch at the last word. And both of them laugh. But then Julien heaves a sigh and looks a bit sad, “I’m not sure if I could meet that person. I have no clue about where and what that person is doing at all,” he says in a hopeless voice.

 

“Aww, come on, dude! Never give up. Who knows, maybe you would bumps into that person at a café or so,” Siwon tries to cheer his friend up, and refills his friend’s another cup of liquor.

 

“I hope so but it’s not a novel, so maybe not that easy,” Julien still sounds a bit upset.

 

“Miracle always happens. I also met a particular person at a café, you know,” Siwon still tries to cheer the older man up.

 

“I’m not even sure that person still looks the same, and if that person has someone already,” Julien smiles bitterly.

 

Siwon looks at his friend and his expression is unreadable but he tosses his liquor cup with his friend and drink off in one go.

 

_Has someone? It’s not as hard as competing with someone in that person’s memory._

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

It’s a lunch break, and Changmin decides to stay in the office to work on some tasks. And the other reason that he decides to stay in the office alone during lunch is, he wants to avoid his supervisor. He knows that Yunho wouldn’t let him go that easily. He still remembers this morning argument. Worse, Minho and Xiumin are not working in the office today. If the two youngers were here with him, he at least could be occupied by their cheery voice and bickering. He feels lonely. Their calls and texts are not really a big help at the moment.

_Changmin was sitting in Yunho’s office, his one hand holding another to calm himself on his lap, ready to receive whatever would be going to be thrown at him. His head hung low, biting his bottom lip. It was not like Yunho was going to eat him but it was not really better than that either._

_Yunho was sitting at his desk, facing his large desktop monitor. A file was shown but it was barelyt paid attention to. His face was a bit red, creeping to his neck and ears. He was surely very unhappy, or it could be to the point of being furious. He was trying to even his breath, fisting his lips. Finally, he decided to face his subordinate entirely after another big sigh._

_“I really don’t know what to say, Changmin. Why did you not discuss with me first? How come you could come to this st-… this decision?” He looked straightly to his subordinate, trying to search for the answer. “Now look at me, and tell me the reason.” He demanded. He couldn’t take what Changmin just told him._

_The younger boy looked up to his supervisor slowly, still biting his bottom lip. Not that he didn’t know it would be like that. He actually had prepared himself of whatever would be going to happen. It was not like he did something wrong but he didn’t do it right either._

_“Hyung… I know I’m at fault here for making decision without consulting that with you… but… but I don’t see anything wrong with Siwon’s request too.” He spoke slowly, trying his hardest to not let his voice shake._

_Yunho laughed dryly upon hearing what he just heard. He was not sure if his subordinate was innocent or actually stupid. He had warned that Siwon was a PLAYBOY. Oh, just thinking about his name, Yunho felt burning inside. He didn’t think he hated him but his feeling wasn’t anything less either. He knew he shouldn’t be feeling like that since the Choi hadn’t done anything against him but he didn’t like him at all, not even one bit. He felt something was off when Siwon suggested Changmin being the person in charge of the renovation of his apartment. He didn’t know what it was but he felt something wasn’t right. So he had warned his subordinate ahead. Well, he knew Siwon was infamous as a womanizer, which probably he wouldn’t do anything to Changmin but still, he couldn’t feel at ease for some reasons._

_“So he is a prince-charming in your eyes now?” He stressed at in-your-eyes._

_Changmin was taken aback hearing that. Why out of the blue, Yunho assumed that Siwon was a prince-charming to him? And even if Changmin himself had considered Siwon as his prince-charmning, he had no a single right to question him either. He had no DAMN RIGHT to do that._

_And what had Siwon done to Yunho that made him so against him that much?_

 

Changmin shakes his head to clear off the memories earlier. He heaves a sigh, not knowing what to do with his supervisor. He hasn’t got his permission yet. He isn’t sure if he should still stick to his decision, or he should back off. Luckily, he hasn’t informed Siwon about his decision yet. He heaves a sigh again, and suddenly his stomach screams at him. He puts one hand on his stomach, and makes a sour face.

 

“Sorry, I forgot that you still need to be fed…” He mumbles, and then pulls a top drawer of his desk. He looks at the biscuit bars and yoghurts. He opts for a whole bar of biscuit and a bottle of yoghurt. He starts devouring the snack lifelessly, while reading the papers on his desk and occasionally looking at the desktop monitor to compare something.

_Why does my life so suck?_

 

Probably, he has been into his work and food, without noticing any footsteps approaching him. He only realizes someone is standing next to him when a box of something-should-be-packed-lunch is shoved into his face. He turns to seek for the owner of the box, and he finds Yunho wearing annoying face at him.

 

“So you opted to stay in the office, working on those...” He is just saying it, not questioning. “I guess you would like to get some necessary tasks done before you could entirely work exclusively for that Siwon and before the trip you decided to join him.” He adds, still making his annoying face at his subordinate.

 

Changmin doesn’t reply anything. He isn’t sure what he should say. He’s afraid that he would anger his supervisor.

 

“Shouldn’t you get the lunch box from me? Or you want me to feed you? Don’t forget, I’m your boss!” He shoves the lunch box at Changmin again, urging him to accept.

 

And Changmin realizes now that he hasn’t accepted the lunch box yet. He gets the box with both hands awkwardly with a mumbles of _thank you, Yunho-hyung._

 

Yunho pulls a nearby chair to sit next to the younger man. And then he shoves an Americano to his subordinate, “I don’t want my subordinate to get sick but I don’t know what to buy to make it quick for you so I decided to have the extra-cheese sandwich and this Americano for you since you love them.” He speaks to Changmin but he doesn’t look at him. His eyes are looking somewhere else.

 

Changmin takes Americano and smiles. It might be one of the reasons he falls for Yunho. No, he fell for Yunho. Changmin corrects himself. He starts opening the packed lunch, and he sees extra-size sandwich. He glances briefly before starting to dig in the treated food. He eats slowly.

 

Siwon had made a strong request personally to Yunho that he would need Changmin go with on Saturday afternoon. He promised Yunho that he would give Changmin a break for the rest of the week if Changmin would agree with him to stay over at his place after the young interior designer clears all the works and to go with him to Japan.

 

Yunho had been thinking about what Siwon told him yesterday, and he had been thinking about his argument with his subordinate this morning too. He knew if he agreed with Siwon, that Choi would give him a smug again. He would say silently through his eyes that _I won_. He knew Siwon would do that.

 

“You go with him,” Yunho says to Changmin softly as if he isn’t sure if he should say it.

 

Changmin turns to look at him, blinking with mouth full of food. And Yunho turns to look at him too. Their eyes meet. With those adorable doe eyes of Changmin, full mouth of food, and that innocent look, Yunho finds himself leans closer to the younger man without realizing it. The young interior designer’s heart pace is quickened, and he hiccups. Yunho snaps out of the day dream, and quickly brings Americano for Changmin to drink.

 

“Sorry…”

 

Changmin stops dead at the half of drinking. He looks at Yunho, trying to find something he himself isn’t sure of what exactly he is finding.

_Sorry? For what?_

 

“Sorry. I was a bit irrational this morning,” Yunho decides to say something more comprehensible. “I just couldn’t understand why you took it so lightly about that Choi.” He continues, “I believe you have heard about him, how infamous he is. But…but you seem having taken every request he makes so willingly.”

 

Changmin decides to stop drinking and puts that down before picking the left sandwich to his mouth, biting and chewing so slowly. Like very, very slowly and awkwardly. He didn’t expect his supervisor to apologize him but now he just did. He listens to his supervisor, attentively and silently.

 

“I’m afraid he might hurt you,” the project manager inhales a bit before continuing, “I’m afraid he is setting up something.” Yunho looks at him caringly. He bites his pouty bottom lip before continuing again, “He is a dangerous guy. He has had countless girlfriends.”

 

“He has no boyfriend,” Changmin decides to point out.

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

 

 

 

“He is a dangerous guy. He has had countless girlfriends.”

 

“He has no boyfriend,” Changmin decides to point out, “So he probably has no any attention of harming me in sort of way…”

 

It’s not that the younger man wants to protect Siwon or wants to fight against his boss but he just couldn’t stay still when his boss keeps saying something negative about the other man. Since when that he cares about the other man with the fact that they have just got to meet quite a few times? However, the young interior designer does not want to care about that at the moment. Of course, Changmin is well aware that the heir of Choi group is such infamous as a playboy. He really is well aware of that but…but the man hasn’t shown him any hint of harm towards him. He has treat him like a princess. He behaves more like a gentleman. He is just like his Dongwook.

 

_Dongwook…_

 

_No, why do I feel like I’m trying to protect my Dongwook?_

 

“You are too optimistic about people, Changmin.” Yunho turns back, and fixes his gaze at the floor. His face’s expression is mixed of sadness and disappointment and pain and…and everything. His eyes are just…emotionally shaky. “You are too beautiful for being a man.” He mumbles the last sentence very quietly, just like a whisper.

_What did you just say, Yunho? Did you even say that? Did you just say your subordinate is too beautiful for being a man? You are ridiculous. What if he heard? Omona, did he hear? Omona, Omona. How come did you say that, Yunho?_

 

Embarrassment hits him. He feels his face hot for unexplainable reasons. And the project manager slaps himself mentally because he didn’t even know why he said such a thing out of the blue. And he is now praying hard that the younger man didn’t hear what he blurted out in almost-whisper voice.

 

“Yes?” Changmin couldn’t hear the last part.

 

The project manager thanks God internally. He wants to jump and lets his both hands up the air, showing how relieved he is. He secretly smiles briefly.

 

_Lucky you, Yunho!_

 

The older man turns to look at his subordinate, after schooling his composure. “Nothing. I said you are so clueless but act like you are the smartest.” He puts his both hands on his knees and brushes the spots there a bit before standing up. “Okay, now, I’ll let you enjoy your lunch to the fullest alone. Do fill the form for your upcoming trip. I’ll send an e-mail to the big boss, informing him about your trip.” He walks away about 2 steps, and he stops, then turns to see his subordinate again, where he is still standing up. He smiles at his subordinate. A sweet, dreamy smile that he himself doesn’t even recognize, “And report your work on time. And do report me everything when you are out of my sight with that playboy Siwon.”

 

After the last comment, the project manager decides to leave his subordinate having his lunch, with a creepy, satisfied smile on his face when his back is completely shown to the younger. Changmin bows down to Yunho. After Yunho is out of his sight. Changmin sits back, and looks at the treated food. He’s still a bit confused.

 

“Maybe he really has treated me like a good friend and a dongsaeng. Yeah, maybe this is how he is,” he mumbles to himself, and then bits the sandwich as if it is the toughest meat ever, with a pout.

 

Following Kyuhyun’s advice, even though he got into an argument with his supervisor at first, the older man was still kind enough letting him go. His supervisor looks tough and strict but sweet, kind and tender at times. The older is quite unpredictable. Hard to understand to be exact. Changmin is quite relieved that Yunho accepted his decision.

 

And thankful too.

 

Changmin feels thankful that he doesn’t have to work at Siwon’s place for the rest of the week because he couldn’t be sure what he would do if he keep staying close with that Choi, who keeps reminding him of his first love so much like that. He is still too confused about his feeling. He tries his best to distract himself with the works. He is very thankful that Yunho has been occupied with many meetings and projects that the older couldn’t ask him for a talk or whatever like that aside from the talk for work for the rest of the day.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Siwon was invited to have dinner again at his house that night, which is literally a mansion. He just dropped Julien at the hotel after asking the said man to drop by his office during his working hour in the late afternoon for some short talk after the office for some particular upcoming schedule. It has been awhile since he really comes home and has dinner with the family. No, not really long time ago. He couldn’t come have dinner with his family when he had to have dinner with the young interior designer he adores. And at the thought of the said man, he smiles proudly. As soon as he arrives, his sister jumps to him, hugging and kissing him on the cheek with her squeal _‘Oppa~’_. She hugs one of the man’s arm with her head leaning on to the man. Siwon ruffles the girl’s head lovingly before landing a peck on her head. She smiles happily. Both of them are walking to the living room to greet Mr. and Mrs. Choi, who are watching the news on TV.

 

“Annyeonghaseyo, Abeoji! Annyeonghaseyo, Omeoni!” Siwon greets his parents with bow. The two seniors nod with a smile, and then Siwon invites himself to sit down on one of the couches opposite of his parents’. Her sister is still clinging on to him, sitting down next to him.

 

“Sooyoung-ah, you are not a kid anymore. Plus, you are a girl. Behave, you know?” Mrs. Choi lectures her daughter.

 

Sooyoung pouts and lets of her older brother’s arm but then the young Choi wraps his one arm over his sister’s shoulder.

 

“We are family, Omeoni. She’s my only dongsaeng. She doesn’t need to behave with me, especially at home like this. And I like her affection,” Siwon tries to take his sister side which makes Sooyoung beam widely and wrap him in her arms and lean her head on her brother’s shoulder.

 

Mrs. Choi wants to lecture her son for spoiling his sister but Mr. Choi grabs her hand lightly and tells her to let them be. Mrs. Choi wants to protest but then decides to let it go. A moment later, a lady who is in her late fifty comes to inform Mr. and Mrs. Choi that dinner is ready and if they would like to have it now. Mr. and Mrs. Choi nod.

 

During dinner, Siwon picks the food for his father and then his mother, and last his sister. Sooyoung teases him about being that because he is that sweet that’s why he keeps having so many girlfriends.

 

“That’s why Oppa has so many girlfriends. Who would resist such a sweet, handsome man like my Oppa?” Sooyoung coos with a big playful smile.

 

“None of them is my girlfriend,” Siwon corrects his sister, “They are just…just my friends.” Sooyoung nods sarcastically, not believing his brother, forming an _‘O’_ before feeding herself.

 

Upon hearing the girlfriend topic, Mr. Choi pauses from feeding himself and asks his son, “So you are not really going with anyone recently, Wonnie?”

 

Siwon nods and smiles, “No, I’m not going out with anyone at the moment. Absolutely single!” He exclaims happily.

 

_Not at the moment. Not until I could get someone._

A flash of familiar face comes into his brain, the young interior designer, the heir of the Choi group smiles dreamily and feeds himself. A smile still plasters on his face.

 

Mr. and Mrs. Choi look at their sharply and then look at each other. They seem to notice something odd about their son but decide not to say anything since knowing that their son always has new girlfriend almost every month to the point of almost every week. They have no interest in such matter since usually such sweet, handsome, filthy rich man like their son could be this playboy. It’s not at all surprising for them. And the fact that their son doesn’t admit having any girlfriend is not really bothering them that much. However, because they have their own plan for their son, they also want to make sure of something.

 

After a little thought or so, Mr. Choic speaks with soft yet firm voice, “Then remain single like this. And don’t make new female friends to cause any controversy like you have done so far.”

 

Siwon raises his brows and looks at his father, “Why, Abeoji? I have the rights to make friends.” He just says casually.

 

“You are the heir. I believe you know your status properly. I don’t want any shareholder to question your qualification,” Mr. Choi reasons out calmly.

 

“The capability to lead the company and my personal matter have nothing to do with one another. I believe I can date anyone,” Siwon seems to be a bit firm with what he says.

 

Mr. Choi seems to be a bit unhappy. He puts down his spoon and looks straight into his son’s eyes, “Are you trying to rebel me like your hyung?”

 

Sooyoung reaches out her hand to touch her brother’s leg under the table as a sign to not protest their father. Siwon closes his eyes, and tries to calm himself.

 

“It’s okay that you play around in the past but I want you to be more careful with your action. In case you have to marry someone from the privilege family, then your scandal might hold you back, you know?” Mr. Choi adds.

 

Siwon balls his fist tightly till his knuckle turns white. He tries to calm himself down as much as he could.

 

“Your hyung was a fool. He didn’t know what a diamond is and what a dirt is. I hope you don’t follow him just because—“

 

“Enough, Abeoji!” Siwon growls but doesn’t raise his voice.

 

“Are you by chance copying him?” Mr. Choi asks sternly, obviously very unhappy with what his son is reacting now.

 

“Can we not talk about him Abeoji? He’s someone that I owe a life to, in case you have forgot,” he speaks firmly but softly, trying to calm himself still. “He was absolutely right. It was his life, he had to spend his life with someone he loved.”

 

“Are you insane, Siwon?” It’s his mother who jumps, couldn’t stand seeing his son’s behavior, “Who taught you to talk back to your parents this way?”

 

“I’m sorry for being rude but I still stand with my statement. Hyung didn’t do anything wrong at all. And you both keep saying something bad about him every time. This is so horrible,” Siwon speaks with sharp yet soft tone. “I’m sorry, I’m full. May I excuse myself.” He gets up and leaves as soon as he finishes his words.

 

Sooyoung is trying to catch his hand but fails. His parents don’t want to say anything further, knowing Siwon is that stubborn. Instead, they look like they have some plan in the back of their minds.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Kyuhyun is taking shower, leaving his best friend in the bedroom alone. Changmin feels his troubled heart is getting the better of him recently, so he decides to search for some CDs to play some music, and he’s found something like an unpacked one hidden at the bottom. How come he has never noticed this one before? It looks more like a gift because the wrapping is neat and gorgeous. He frowns as he clearly isn’t familiar with this one at all. He unwraps the said gift, and it reveals as CD. It’s written there as ‘ _Special Song Cover’._ To respond to his curiosity, he decides to play that CD. He opts not read the title because he doesn’t want to know in advance since that way he could enjoy the music more, and will be curious of the title if he likes the song. He presses the remote to play the music. A song plays. A beautiful piano sound introduces itself, and then a familiar voice sings an English song. He closes his eyes to enjoy the song. The piano sound soothes his troubled heart something, not to mention the voice of the singer. The voice is very familiar to him, and he recognizes the song precisely. It’s _‘Nothing’s gonna change my love for you’_. Though the singer makes the song a bit more stylish, he still can recognize the song well as much as the voice. It’s his lover’s voice. He smiles bitterly and suddenly a memory flashes in his brain.

 

_“I have you a surprise for you. Wait here, okay?” The man smiled handsomely and got up from the table and left where they were having dinner, without waiting for the reply from his lover._

_Changmin was confused with his lover’s behavior at first but then he told himself that he should get used to with his lover’s way. The older man always surprised him with countless ways. He didn’t know how his lover could come up with such a surprise every time like that. And he doubted if his lover would run out of surprise one day. They were celebrating the graduation of Dongwook, yet it was Dongwook who tried to surprise him instead. Dongwook booked a VIP room in a fancy restaurant for them since the older man knew his lover didn’t like crowd that much. How could he not love this man? At that thought, he smiled widely. He sat alone in a VIP room, waiting for his lover’s surprise. A little while later, a violinist came in after knocking the door. He was anticipating the surprise, so he didn’t ask the violinist. Once the violinist played his violin, he felt so soothing at his heart. Then he heard a familiar voice sang not quite far from him, he turned to the source of the voice, and found a giant bouquet of red roses surrounding tinted pink roses formed in heart-shape moving in with a trolley. It was so, so big to the point that he was about the jump in excitement. He was awed and speechless. He didn’t expect such a surprise from his lover like this at all. It was his day but he surprised the younger instead. Then the man revealed himself from behind the giant bouquet, smiling brightly like sunshine to him. And that moment, he realized his tears had welled up in his eyes without him realizing it. His both hands covered his mouth as an excitement. Closing the door behind his back, the older man moved closer to him while singing ‘Nothing’s gonna change my love for you’ song. The older man gave him the bouquet, which he found quite heavy for him when he received. The older man was then on his one knee and opened a velvet box, revealing a ring band. It was simple but elegant. There were 7 diamonds in the ring band, which the middle was the biggest one but none of them perking off the white platinum surface. It somehow resembled a crown._

_“Will you be my life partner and spend the rest of your life with this orphan, my love?” The older man said, looking up to his lover with sparkling eyes as his smile was really bright and hopeful._

_The tears slid down on the cheeks of the boy, and he nodded furiously as his answer. He reached his left hand down to the older man, and the older man pulled the ring off the velvet before sliding it onto the ring finger of the boy._

_“Let’s get married when you finish your college. I want us to be officially and legally married couple,” the older man spoke after landing a long, loving kiss on the boy’s fingers. The older man turned to look at the violinist and signales him to leave them alone. The violinist understood and left them, closing the door back. He stood up, “By that time, I’ll propose you again more properly. For now, let’s say I mark you as mine in a not-legal way but very officially.” Changmin smiles hearing such heartfelt words from his lover. “You are mine as much as I’m only yours. Do let those people know that they can’t stand a chance,” he adds with a firm voice yet quite sexy._

_Changmin smiled shyly yet excitedly as he didn’t expect his boyfriend to propose him like that. The older man leaned down wiped the tears off his young lover’s cheeks and captured his lover’s lips tenderly, which Changmin happily accepted. The kiss was gentle and slow._

_In between them, 999 roses represented eternal love, as their witness._

 

The memory was cut off from his brain when he heard the click of the bathroom door open. He wipes the tears off his cheeks and schools his expression yet he couldn’t help but think of his first love. He pulls the drawer of the night stand next to him. And there he sees a velvet box; he brings the box out, and when he opens, a finger ban gleams brightly at him. He pulls the ring out of the box. His first love had sincerely and touchingly made for him with special engraved design there inside of the ring.

 

 _‘D-_ _©_ _-C 4ever’_. With five diamonds like a crown on the other side of the finger ban. The middle diamond is the biggest one.

 

He never wanted to remove the ring but his best friend told him remove it if he wouldn’t want the past to haunt him all the time. His best friend tried all his way to make him remove the ring. And so many other things that reminded him of his lover, his best friend him to throw them away or at least keep it somewhere that he wouldn’t see it. But the ring, the very last card and their pictures, he couldn’t keep them away, so he kept them in the drawer of the nightstand.

 

As he is lost in his sentiment, he doesn’t realize his best friend is standing and looking worriedly at him. His tears sheds more on their own and fall onto the ring. Kyuhyun couldn’t stand seeing his best friend like that, so he pulls the ring and velvet box off of the younger man’s hands and puts the ring back in there before putting into the drawer and pushing the drawer close. Changmin sits still as if no any soul in him. Kyuhyun turns to him and decides to speak.

 

“Stop thinking about the past, Changmin-ah. I’ve already told you to try not to think about him that much. It won’t do you any good but pain.”

 

Kyuhyun climbs up the bed, “Now sleep.” He forces down his friend to sleep, and he cover them with the duvet. He turns the music off, and then the light at nightstand, “Why do you keep torturing yourself this way, Changmin-ie? Why do you need to listen to his voice? Try to avoid that as much as possible. Arrosso? I can’t stand seeing you in pain. It hurts my heart,” he speaks with soft, soothing voice, trying to comfort his best friend. He pulls best friend to sleep in his chest, and comb his hair as a way to lull him to sleep. The younger man doesn’t utter a word but his tears roll down uncontrollably.

 

_Doongwook, I miss you. I wish the chest I’m sleeping in now were yours._

 

It takes a long while for the younger man to fall asleep. And when Kyuhyun is sure that his best friend is already deeply asleep, he lets himself sleep too.

 

Changmin dreams of his first love again.

 

_“This engrave means Dongwook loves Changmin always and forever. And the 7 diamonds here means, you have the wings to fly. You are the middle diamond, and three diamonds on each side mean your wings,” the older man explain while the younger man was sleeping in his chest in their shared bed._

_“I thought it was a crown because it looked like one,” the younger spoke, looking up at his lover._

_“It really is but it also means what I explained you earlier. Plus, 7 means me. The 7 diamonds represent me being with you always and forever. So you can’t remove that ring, you know?” the older man tightened his embrace around his lover to show his affection before kissing the boy’s head lovingly. Changmin nodded shyly._

_“But why do you not have any diamond on your ring?”_

_“Because the engraved in it says it all. Dongwook loves Changmin only and forever,” the older man searched for his lover’s eyes as the younger looked up at him. He smiled and pecked the younger’s forehead before continuing, “Dongwook doesn’t need any diamond nor anyone else but Changmin only. Changmin is his life. Without Changmin, he prefers death,” Changmin smiled happily at his lover’s sweet words. Dongwook grabbed the boy’s hand with the ring on to kiss and held into his chest, “I want to be your wings, I want to be the one who could make you fly. So that means when you fly, I fly too. I’m wherever you are. Just right there with you, and never leave you,” The older man said sensually and pecked his lover’s lips before kissing nice and slow, earning a soft moan from the younger man._

**_You are my world, Dongwook. Not just my wings alone._ **

****

Changmin smiles in his sleep.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annyeong everyone!
> 
> It has been a long while my last update. My sincere apologies for this. And here I come again after the 4 teasers of our beloved TVXQ. I'm super excited and can't wait for the release date!!! ^_^
> 
> I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter! ^_^
> 
> Love you all!

 

 

 

 

_He went to the balcony of his apartment, and found a person sitting sleeping in a hanging chair there. He smiled and observed the face of the said person, and what he found himself next was heart wrenching. The stained tears were still vivid on his cheeks. Yunho stroked the boy’s face and felt sad for the boy. He leaned in absentmindedly but then stopped. With a little of thought, he carried the boy in a bridal style, bringing the boy back into his own apartment. As soon as he arrived inside of his apartment, Yunho used his leg to close the door behind him. He remembered when he came to check the boy earlier, the boy was sobbing so hard in his sleep. Of course, the boy was drunk but what exactly happened to this sweet boy? If not, this boy wouldn’t cry that hard in his sleep. He questioned himself of how a sunbae he was that he couldn’t notice the sadness behind the boy’s sweet, beautiful smile. He placed the boy in his bed, and tucked him under the duvet. He sat there next to the boy on the bed, observing the boy’s face._

_“Who made you this sad, Changmin?” He mumbled, brushing the strains of the hair on the boy’s forehead away before leaning down to leave a peck there. Long and lovingly. He stroked the boy’s face, then kissed again on the same spot. He pulled away after giving a long on the boy’s forehead but then boy turned his side to his direction, and swung his arms to pull him down by his neck._

_“Dongwook~” The boy murmured in his sleep, “You are back?” He buried his head into Yunho’s chest, “I miss you a lot.” He buried his head deeper, “Where have you been?” His voice was still sad and dry._

_Yunho stayed still, didn’t remove himself from the boy’s arms. “Dongwook?” Yunho stared at the boy’s face sadly as if he was overwhelmed by inexpressible emotion. **‘You must have loved him a lot, right?’** And for some unknown reasons, the older man felt burning in his chest._

_“You are my world, Dongwook~” He buried his head deeper into Yunho’s chest, mumbling. “Please…please don’t go away from me.” The tears seeped down from his closed eyes._

**_‘He’s a very lucky guy,’_ ** _he talked in his mind as his eyes began teary. **‘But he doesn’t know about it?’** His tears fell down on the boy’s face. He looked down at the boy, and under the effect of the alcohol, he captured the boy’s lips briefly. To his surprise, the boy responded the kiss, leading him to kiss the boy more deeply. Yunho didn’t intend to kiss him long but as soon as the boy responded the kiss, he couldn’t stop. His head was spinning from desire when it was actually the boy who was deadly drunk. “I’m sorry, Changmin but let me be selfish just once.” He spoke in the kiss._

_He climbed up the bed, and was on top the boy to deepen the kiss. The alcohol did take a control on him somehow. The boy’s arms were around his neck as he was kissing the older back. He sucked the boy’s bottom lips, causing the boy to moan in the kiss._

_He licked the boy’s bottom lip one last time before breaking the kiss for air, “I like you, Changmin. Ever since the first day I saw you,” he spoke breathlessly. The boy opened his eyes, and smiled dreamily at him. Yunho was drawn into the boy’s eyes. He dived in to kiss the boy again, licking the boy’s bottom lip as permission to enter his mouth. Once the boy opened his mouth while closing his eyes back, he entered his tongue to play with the boy’s tongue, lick every inch of the boy’s cavern, then sucked his tongue hard and long. The boy moaned and whimpered and writhed under him. It turned him on when the boy reacted that way. He kept on kissing the boy as if he was so, so delicious, while his hands worked on their own to slip under the boy’s sweater, and pinched the boy’s nipples playfully. He then pulled the boy’s sweater off, tossing somewhere unparticular in the guestroom to the floor. The boy was half naked. Yunho landed the kisses on boy’s jaw, and then the earlobe, and moved down to the neck, then further down to the collar while his one hand was working on the boy’s nipple. The boy moaned loudly._

_“Dongwook”_

_Ring Ring_

_Ring Ring_

Ring Ring

Ring Ring

Ring Ring

 

Yunho is moving in sleep, struggling in his dream. It takes him a while to open his eyes. His hand searches for the phone before dragging it to land it before his eyes. He looks at the ID.

 

Eommeoni.

 

He tries to sit up before swiping to answer.

 

“Hello, Eomma” His voice sounds croaky.

 

“ _Hello, Yundol_ ” He could hear his mother’s happy voice from another line. “ _Am I bothering your sleep?_ ”

 

“Anniyo, Eomma. How are you and Appa?” Yunho asks while trying to regain his consciousness.

 

“ _We are fine. We miss you a lot,_ ” he could tell his mother is smiling widely on the other line.

 

“Glad hearing that. I miss you too, Eomma.” He smiles but still feels sleepy.

 

“ _Soojung and Sooyeon plan to visit you very soon,_ ” his mother’s voice is still cheery.

 

“Why all of sudden?” Yunho asks, curious of what makes his two younger sisters want to visit him in Seoul.

 

“ _Ara-ssi came to visit us today. She left just now. She invited your sister to watch her runway in Seoul for a grand opening there. Ara-ssi promised to introduce them to some potential people,_ ” his mother explains excitedly over the other line.

 

Yunho gives himself a deep breath before continuing the conversation, “Just let me know when they come. I’ll pick them up from the airport.” He doesn’t sound excited.

 

“ _Ara-ssi is very beautiful and very nice. You are so lucky, Yundol-ah,_ ” his mother still sounds very excited.

 

“Yes, Eomma.”

 

“ _Okay, I know you have to work tomorrow. So I’ll just hang up. Take care and stay warm, my dear son._ ”

 

“You too. Be careful with the food too.”

 

He kisses his mother on the phone before their conversation ends. He heaves a deep sigh. “At least, I could be myself when I’m in my dream,” he mumbles softly. “But why did I dream about that night?” He puts his phone back to the nightstand next to his bed, and then lays himself to back to sleep.

 

_Let me see you in my dream again, Changmin._

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Sticking to the advice of his best friend, Changmin has tried his best not to think of his first love. He has distracted himself with works and with his two beloved dongsaeng- Minho and Xiumin during coffee break. The incident of treated lunch by his supervisor from the other day has been replaying in the younger man’s memory once in a while when his manager passes by and gave him a longing look and checks with him if he had lunch already whenever he has lunch meeting outside with the clients but the younger man has to keep reminding himself that the older man really considers him as a friend and a dongsaeng. His troubled heart’s condition has somehow been a bit improved, even his mind inevitably has still been trapped in Dongwook’s virtual appearance mentally and emotionally.

 

The heir of Choi group didn’t really pay attention much to the argument with his parents during that dinner. He feels he has something better to deal with. And he couldn’t be any happier when the younger interior designer is able to come to Japan with him on Saturday afternoon as he planned and to stay over at his place during the renovation project. He has won the Jung finally; something he seems to consider a bigger accomplishment than winning a billion dollar project. He doesn’t want to admit it but it’s true that he feels annoyed seeing that project manager, even thinking about the man’s name. How come a stranger has made him feel annoyed this much? It’s hard for him to explain but he could only tell at the moment that winning the Jung concerning to the young architect is all what he feels proud the most. He did give Yunho a smug when he thanked him for the amended contract. But the heir of the Choi group is a bit upset that the younger architect/interior designer informed him that he would not be able to come to the heir’s place until he clears all the works when returning back from Japan. However, he is devilishly contented when thinking the younger will stay at his place during the entire time of the project; that is more than enough. It’s worth more than anything else in the world for him.

 

Changmin has been missing his first love so, so much lately. Like terribly. He even pulls out the drawer to see the hidden picture of him and first love together in there. He is wondering what his first love is doing now, if he is doing fine, if he is actually working in the U.S, and if he is really happy without him. The very latter part makes him sad the most. He never thought they would break up. NOT AT ALL. That never crossed his mind even once. Who would imagine the break-up when you actually planned so many things together for the concrete future?

 

He has been dreaming of his first love almost every night; and he always wakes up finding himself with tears. He is praying that the bittersweet memories of his first love will go away soon, yet he still holds on to them… It has taken him for years to will away those memories but now they keep taunting him. He hates himself for being weak…for being this vulnerable… A man who meant a world to him left him without a single word, leaving all the mysterious traces around. He hates himself for not being able to hate the said man… But he also never wants to forget the man at all…because…the man was his everything… Every time he thinks about the said man, his heart blooms and then shatters… he hates himself that the said man still has unbelievable effect this much on him.

 

Changmin is really grateful that his best friend has spent the night with him every night since that night. Kyuhyun has to make sure his best friend would fall asleep before he could let himself too. He lets the thinner man sleep in his chest, and sometimes even read some fairytales for the younger man to sleep. It has been a while that he has to do like that. Who says overcoming a broken heart is easy? See? His best friend has become very vulnerable every night. His heart breaks when he sees his friend’s tears.

 

Kyuhyun starts to feel unsure if the trip to Japan would make his best friend feel any better. He really doubts that.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Saturday comes faster than Changmin had expected. When afternoon hits, Changmin is already at the airport with Siwon, waiting for the check-in. He actually rejected Siwon’s offer to pick him up from his place; he told the older man that he could take taxi but Siwon is Siwon, he didn’t listen to him at all. That reminded him of Dongwook again. Siwon was very kind to help load his luggage into the trunk of the car diligently and carefully himself even the chauffeur was with him, he was refusing his chauffeur’s help. And he did unload Changmin’s luggage himself while his chauffeur unloaded his.

 

Yes, just like the way his first love did. And there, he misses his first love again. Damn, his heart is so troubled.

 

Kyuhyun beamed, eyes sparkling, observing every move of the heir of the Choi group. Though he doubted his advice for his best friend to take the trip with Siwon, now he feels that maybe Siwon could pamper his best friend to the point that his best friend could forget Dongwook for a while at least.

 

Kyuhyun was surprisingly very friendly with Siwon, telling Siwon to take care of his best friend, jokingly saying that he would kill Siwon if his best friend would lose a single strand of his hair.

 

_“I’ll bring him back in full one piece without a single scratch. And I promise that he’ll be healthier and more glowing,” Siwon said with a wink to Kyuhyun._

_“Keep your words, Mr. Choi, or you’ll regret it,” Kyuhyun said quite firmly with a challenging smirk. Siwon smirked with a confident expression, challenging back._

 

Changmin knew that Kyuhyun was joking with Siwon but he just didn’t want his best friend to be this friendly with this Choi. But Khyhyun never cared what Changmin would say.

 

Siwon, a gentle man at least to Changmin’s perspective now, was very kind, asking his chauffeur to drive Kyuhyun back to his apartment, and also strictly asking his chauffeur to text him or give him a call when Kyuhyun has arrived safe and sound at the destination.

 

This past Friday, Yunho had kept the younger interior designer there in the office after all the staffs left, and invited him for a dinner nearby the apartment of the younger man, then saw him off right at the door of the younger’s place because Changmin had to leave for Japan the next day. Changmin thought that this was a bit weird to him because Yunho would see him again on Monday night in Japan anyway. It’s not like they wouldn’t see each other for long, and even if it did, he still finds this quite questioning. Also, just this morning, when he was packing, Yunho sent him texts with all the worries and cares, reminding him to stay alert and keeping him posted always. It’s quite confusing, yet somehow, Changmin has come to a final conclusion mentally that Yunho is just being nice to him as a good friend and dongsaeng; nothing more than that.

 

The memory of their private dinner this past Friday evening flashes in his brain.

 

_“I don’t really get used to the feeling you are traveling away with someone else other than me,” Yunho said softly, almost like a whisper but it was still loud enough for Changmin to hear. His face was a bit exhausted but he looked at Changmin fondly yet a bit irritated by some unknown reasons. “Especially that Choi.” Yunho’s voice was quite stiff at ‘that Choi’._

_‘Maybe more than that, Changmin.’_ Changmin’s heart blooms at the thought. The heat creeps on his skin. His heart is pounding a bit fast. He smiles shyly.

 

‘ _No, not more than that at all. Not at all. Stop dreaming. It won’t ever happen, Changmin. Accept the reality.’_ His other virtual self protests. He decides to shake that thought away.

 

Yes, he just does not want to let his hope up again, even though he wants to because thinking of Yunho, he could forget Dongwook for a moment. But no, he just believes that he has to clear his feeling toward Yunho because he somehow has to accept that they couldn’t be anything else but colleagues. Wrong hope will leads to severe pain...

 

And the pain from being broken hearted is no joke.

 

Though earlier he thought the trip to Japan would be a bit troubling to his heart, he now has thought otherwise. Maybe after the trip, he could get his mind to wash away his feeling for Dongwook and Yunho completely.

 

His little heart hopes.

 

They are now boarding the plane. Siwon has bought tickets for VVIP class that makes Changmin feels a bit reluctant and embarrassed. The seat is very comfy but his heart is very heavy. He’s trying to close his eyes, pretending he’s sleeping, leaving the older sitting next to him observe him dreamily.

 

_“I didn’t expect a special treatment from my client, Siwon,” Changmin said after being seated and served special snacks and luxurious drinks, and left alone. He looked a bit upset rather than delighted. “It’s just a 2-hour flight, and this seat is way too much for my position. Actually, I should be grateful but I can’t afford to pay back your kindness,” Changmin mumbled unhappily like to the point of being sulking._

_“I won’t ever ask you to pay any back, Changmin. You just deserve it,” Siwon comforted with an assuring smile. “Plus, I love doing it when it comes to you,” the older man added with a wink._

The memory of the conversation earlier replays in Siwon’s head. Usually, every girl he is with tends to squeal and jump to kiss him whenever he gives them any expensive thing. He knows those girls love his money more than him himself. But this boy is quite unique. He’s different. Lovingly different.

 

His gaze trails on the younger’s face from the forehead to eyes brows to eyelashes to nose… to lips. His gaze stops dead at those luscious, plum, wide lips for a long moment; his cheeks turn a baby shade of red. He reaches his hand to where the bang of the younger fall over freely but he stops in the half way when he realizes his body is dangerously close to the younger’s. His gaze lands at those sinful lips again; he finds his heart thumping a bit loud to his ears. He swallows his saliva, moving his head and scooting back to his original position. He tilts his head away from the younger man’s face, forcing himself to have a good nap too. He can’t stare at the younger’s face any longer. Not when the younger man looks like a baby when he’s asleep.

 

Changmin is oblivious to Siwon’s action as he is forcing himself to have a nap with the headset on. How come Siwon is this good to him? He doesn’t want to owe this man that much. Even though Siwon said that everything was on him, he still couldn’t bring himself to be fine with that. Of course, he is flattered to be pampered like a princess but he also knows the limits. He never wants to suck anyone’s money. He never wants to take any advantage of anyone. But it’s too late to undo anything now. He is already on the plane with a filthy rich man.

 

What his first love had done for him, he still feels that he owes him too much.

 

And because he owes him that much…

 

His heart is heavy that much too…

 

Two hours later, the plane lands in Haneda Airport. There is a town car picking them up from there. Siwon has booked a presidential suite room Park Hyatt Tokyo on the 44th floor for them to stay, and also another standard suite room for Yunho. From the 1st floor to the reception floor to where the suite they are going to stay are just too superb to Changmin. Once he sets his feet in the said room, he is awed by the decoration and everything; especially, He has to admit that he likes the place too.

 

Unintentionally, Changmin mumbles of how expensive the room would be, judging from the way the room presents itself. The older man chuckles. Siwon tells Changmin that he prefers suite room because he feels it homier to him, especially he like seeing sunset; it gives him a sense of comfort. He tells Changmin that the hotel that they are staying is an alliance to his business so he gets a special discount; he suggests the younger man to not worry about the price and all. He stays in the room with Siwon, twin medium size beds. He actually wanted to protest but he decided to drop because knowing that Siwon is that stubborn, he wouldn’t listen to Changmin anyway. It’s not like he never shared his room with anyone but Siwon is somehow still a stranger to him. Especially, sleeping in the same room with his client has never happened in his history. He has to bear with this for the whole trip, he believes.

 

But the view from the sun setting is indeed soothing his mind. They could see the big portion of the Tokyo from their room easily. Even from the bathroom, they could take shower while enjoying the sunset too. Changmin has no doubt in Siwon’s taste. From seeing the room, he’s got another idea for Siwon’s apartment.

 

_Maybe that’s why he brings me, right? He said he wants to work together with me on that renovation idea while we’re here in Japan._

 

The thought assures the younger man. When he connects his phone with wi-fi, his phone vibrates with messages.

 

<< _Arrive there yet?_ >>

<< _Keep me posted_ >>

<< _Be careful_ >>

<< _I’m worried_ >>

 

They are from his one and only unpredictable boss, making him feeling uneasy for his unusual care. He ignores and decides to arrange his clothes into the closet. Siwon is doing the same. Changmin notices that the way Siwon arranging his clothes and stuffs just so much like his Dongwook. And to Changmin’s late notice, he just realizes there is a vase of white roses and irises placing at the night stand next to his bed. Dongwook always made sure to have white roses and irises regularly for him, knowing the younger would feel relaxed seeing them from their visual and scent. Changmin likes the contrast of the two flower species.

 

Dongwook again. Memories of Dongwook is almost everywhere around him.

 

After a hot, fresh shower and changing into more casual outfits but suit for autumn, they are now having their dinner in a 52th-floor restaurant at the terrace on the very top of their hotel, roofless and only them alone at their table area. Exclusively private. Changmin would never question about that. Of course, Siwon is filthy rich, and he can just buy whatever he wants, right? Siwon decides to go for a pleasant French cuisine since he says he wants to have a good mood for the next day.

 

The setting of the dinner is more like a date. To Changmin’s surprise, the big, white candle placed in the middle of the table is surrounded beautifully by white roses and irises, which only their table has them.

 

Dongwook would usually made sure their date dinner to have those flowers on their table too. Except for when he proposed him.

 

_Did Siwon specially order such flowers for their table and maybe their room too? I didn’t know he would like those flowers. Or is it because he ordered those to remind himself of her girlfriend? Maybe. Yes, maybe. He said that person has personality like mine, and likes the same things as I do. But how could it be so coincident? Anyway, even though those flowers are not for me, I could still enjoy them. Right?_

Changmin couldn’t help but smiles at such a coincident. Siwon and Dongwook are unbelievably so alike in many ways. He would surely mistake Siwon as Dongwook if not because of their different look.

 

The soft, slow, live violin music is a very good company for the dinner itself. The mushy, cold wind of autumn and the dark starry night are very good decoration for the night. Siwon requests for that special service. Standing not too close to the customers as giving Siwon and Changmin privacy, the violinist is playing _‘Everything I do, I do it for you’_.

 

After sipping red wine while Changmin is cutting the steak, Siwon says nonchalantly, “to be honest, you are the very first person I share the room with.” His gaze then diverts to man cutting the stake. He smiles while feeling the taste of the liquid on his tongue, as if he is tasting the man in front of him instead.

 

It just comes out of the blue, which Changmin didn’t expect that. He blushes again but thanks to the soft golden light that could at least hide his blush not to look too vivid. He looks up at the man innocently, blinking and thinking of what he should reply back. He is still a bit exhausted mentally since he feels somehow weighty for missing Dongwook every now and then, and the unusual care of his boss. So he couldn’t pick up quickly enough. He smiles softly, “that’s my honor.”

 

“Why does it sound sarcastic to me?” Siwon teases, knowing that his service provider easily gets blushed. And as he expected, Changmin blushes hard again. He likes seeing him like that for some reasons. “Are you always blushing that easily?” Siwon teases again earning a pout from Changmin this time. Siwon chuckles juicily, “To be honest, I likes being around you.”

 

Changmin seems to think a bit before deciding to reply. “Because I reminds you of your girlfriend?”

_‘Because you also reminds me of my first love. A lot. Really a lot.’_ Changmin speaks in his head.

 

Siwon looks at him as if he is trying to get some answers, he smirks a bit and touches the bottom of the wine glass to swirl it on the table. And then he lifts the wine glass to sip a bit. He closes his eyes like he is enjoying the taste of the wine incredibly. Changmin watches him, and he thinks probably Siwon has got a bit tipsy since he becomes a bit silent. He suddenly gets worried what would happen if Siwon got drunk.

_Would he do something improper to me if he’s drunk?_

 

Just by thinking about that makes the hair on the young interior designer’s nape stand. He isn’t sure if he could win Siwon, if he had to fight the bigger man. He cringes, and shakes off that thought mentally, turning his attention back to the food.

 

Siwon opens his eyes slowly, smirking a bit without looking up. He swirls the wine glass in the air this time, then sips it a bit before putting it down. He glances at Changmin, “What if I say you reminds me of my first crush?”

 

Upon hearing that, Changmin shoots his head up a bit to meet the eyes of the man in front of him.

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annyeong, my beloved readers!
> 
> Chapter 12 is up earlier than I myself expected but this thanks to their MV teaser earlier tonight. I'm so in love with their MV even before seeing the full one.
> 
> I'm still feeling sorry for not being able to update regularly, especially when it takes me so long to update some chapters. I have my drafts but sometimes I do need an inspiration. And I'm really thankful for TVXQ promotional activities lately. They do give me incredible inspiration.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter :-)
> 
> Love

 

 

 

 

Siwon opens his eyes slowly, smirking a bit without looking up. He swirls the wine glass in the air this time, then sips it a bit before putting it down. He glances at Changmin, “What if I say you reminds me of my first crush?”

 

Upon hearing that, Changmin shoots his head up a bit to meet the eyes of the man in front of him. Without his knowledge, an uninvited blush creeps up his cheeks, making the man sitting across him watch him dreamily. He slows down his chewing absentmindedly, unsure of what he should say. He wishes Siwon wouldn’t do anything unpredictable to him.

 

In that swift moment, Yunho’s voice echoes in his ears. _“He’s dangerous.”_ He shakes his mind off mentally, praying that what Yunho said won’t be true.

 

“Why are you so quiet?” Siwon asks him, eyeing him tenderly with a smirk again.

 

Changmin voluntarily forces himself to swallow the food before answering the man, “I just… didn’t expect that. I mean I didn’t expect to hear that I remind you of your first crush.”

 

_So I’m reminding you of your first crush? Didn’t you say your girlfriend—_

 

Siwon nods slightly as if he’s answering the questions in Changmin’s mind. He chuckles a bit before replying, “My first crush was just like you. Awkward… shy… cute… and beautiful. _Really_ beautiful…just like a fallen angel…”

 

Changmin swallows his saliva as the anxiety starts eating him up from within. “Is that why you are so serious with your current girlfriend?” He asks hesitantly, not sure if it would offend his client. “You told me she has the same personality and favorites as I do.”

 

“You may say so. The personality…the favorites… and… maybe everything? Yes, exactly like yours.” The heir of the Choi group replies with a gentle smile.

 

Abruptly, the younger man is also curious about his first crush. “And your first crush?” After naively asking that question, Changmin smacks himself mentally. He shouldn’t get back to the earlier topic.

 

“I should say that person was my first love.” He smiles shyly. And it is the first time Changmin sees Siwon gets shy. Like really, really shy. Siwon continues with his eyes glistened with oddly attractive spark, “I was once told that if you are attracted to one person for 3 or 4 months, then it’s just a crush… but if you are staying attracted to that person for longer than that, especially if it drags to years, then it’s not a crush but a love… falling in love… or madly in love.” After his response, the older man looks at him longingly as if he was saying that to his service provider.

 

For a brief moment, Changmin sees his first love in Siwon again, in a flash. That longing look.

_I must be crazy._

 

The younger man scold himself but he absentmindedly stares into the man before him. They become silent for a while.

 

“So, have you ever had any lover, Changmin?” Siwon asks with soft casual tone but his eyes show his unpretentious curiosity.

 

The question from his client has brought Changmin back to his sense.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Yunho is sleeping restlessly in his darkened room. His king-size bed couldn’t comfort him. He keeps checking his phone repetitively as if he is waiting for some texts or calls from someone. He plays with the phone by switching the screen on and off.

 

“It’s already at this late hour, yet he hasn’t sent me a single text back.” He mumbles and pouts. “He should have arrived and may have already gone to bed.”

 

He drops his phone to the spot next to him, then turns on his side. He pulls the duvet to cover his head, trying to force himself to sleep. However, in less than five minutes, he peels the duvet off his head, opens his eyes and checks the phone again, after feeling the vibration.

 

There is a pop-up text.

 

From a certain person.

 

He sits up, grabbing his phone tightly with a beam.

 

_Changmin._

 

Without any prolonging, he quickly opens the sent text to read.

 

<<Hi, hyung! Sorry, I had been occupied a bit. Now heading to bed>>

 

He smiles excitedly after reading the text. His thumbs move over the screen back and forth as he types a reply back.

 

<<That means you arrived safely>>

 

He presses send, then brings the phone close to his chest. He looks overly excited. Within some seconds, the text pops up again.

 

<<Safe and sound>>

 

Yunho grins. But then he finds himself a bit stupid as he feels like he’s behaving like a girl receiving a text from her crush. After schooling his expressing, he quickly types the text back.

 

<<Make sure to lock your door properly>>

 

After a short while, he receives the text back. He already thought Changmin has fallen asleep in the middle of the text.

 

<<By the way, I’m staying in the same suite with Siwon. Just let you know>>

_What???_

 

“What???” His mind and his mouth have the same reaction. Yunho grips his phone so hard. If the phone was any less durable, it would have been crashed in his hand. “Is he crazy???” He mumbles angrily alone before quickly typing back.

 

<<Did you happen to be out of your mind, Changmin?>>

 

Before he could think of anything better, his fingers was faster than his brain. Then he receives the text back.

 

<<Siwon didn’t seem to show any sign that he would do anything to me>>

 

<<He’s quite a gentle man, too>>

 

Yunho tsks. He types back quite furiously without having any break.

 

<<How do you know?>>

<<It’s better to be careful>>

<<He’s a playboy>>

<<Do remember that>>

<<Or have you started falling for him already?!>>

 

In a brief moment later, he receives the texts back. This time, he receives long thread texts from his subordinator.

 

<<If he hadn’t had any girlfriend, then I would surely fall for him>>

<<He’s a very caring person, you know>>

<<No wonder girls have fallen for him>>

<<But thanks for reminding me ^_^>>

<<Maybe he would consider taking me as his first boyfriend>>

<<Oh, that would be great>>

<<I don’t mind to be his first boyfriend anyway>>

<<Kekeke>>

 

Yunho fists his mouth. He is hovering over the phone what he should reply back or not because he is being boiling with anger inside him. He balls his mouth and still hasn’t decided what he should reply back.

_No wonder he decided to stick with Siwon._

 

He hisses, alone. He feels irritated with the last texts. He starts typing more furiously this time.

 

>> _So you are very happy to be his boyfriend…_

 

He pauses, and shakes his head as if he is not agreeing with the typing text. So he deletes it. He starts typing again.

 

>> _Suit yourself then…_

 

However, while typing the text, he seems not to agree with himself, so he pauses again.

 

_No, I can’t send such texts to him._

He deletes the typing text again, and re-starts typing.

 

_> >Your joke is not funny…_

 

“No, no, no.” He deletes the typing text again, and re-starts typing over again.

 

He keeps on typing and then deleting repetitively.

 

Before he could send his subordinator his typing text, his text pops up, making him feeling defeated to his own effort.

 

<<I guess you have fallen asleep. Goodnight, hyung>>

 

Yunho stares at the last text for like eternity. He heaves a sigh and decides not to reply back.

_At least, you should ask me if I have fallen asleep yet. Why assumed?_

 

He puts his phone carelessly at the spot next to him, then turns to the other side forcing himself to sleep. He isn’t sure why but he is feeling upset and disappointed somehow. While trying not to think about their earlier exchanged texts, the memory from this Friday starts replaying in his mind.

 

_Yunho was observing Changmin from his office. The younger man was preparing to the documents to put into their folder_ _s_ _. It was indeed a long Friday_ _for him_ _. The other colleagues went out for Happy Friday. Minho and Xiumin did invite him because they wanted to have dinner with him before his departure_ _for Japan_ _. It wouldn’t be long but the two said they would miss him a lot. Changmin laughed at_ _those_ _sweet words. He turned the computer off after tidying his desk. When he was about the pull his working_ _bag_ _from the desk drawer, he found his supervisor standing next to him._

_“I’ll drive you home.” Yunho said nonchalantly._

_Changmin blinked but then smiled back with a gentle nod._

_Changmin and Yunho didn’t exchange any word on the way to Changmin’s place. Changmin didn’t feel bothered with that fact. He was exhausted from the sudden extra jobs from his supervisor but he couldn’t complain anything anyway. He found silence very comforting to him. The traffic was not smooth, so Yunho turned on the radio to_ _kill the time_ _. The Radio DJ received a call; the caller was commenting about the traffic, and later he connected the conversation to his date. He was complaining that his girlfriend would be mad at him again because he couldn’t be there on time for their date but as much as he cared about that, he hoped his girlfriend wouldn’t go out with her male classmate for their Happy Friday because that had often happened. He continued that he didn’t like to admit it but he felt jealous, even knowing that they were just classmates. Right before the conversation ended, the caller requested “JEALOUS” by Nick Jonas._ _He hoped his girlfriend could hear his feeling over the air._ _As per request, the DJ played the requested song._

_While listening to the song, Yunho took glances to Changmin from time to time but the younger man was oblivious since he was closing his eyes as if he was taking a nap. In the older man’s eyes, there were some unexplainable_ _emotions in there_ _. In the end, Yunho brought Changmin to a restaurant nearby the younger’s apartment. He woke the younger up._

_“Are we at my apartment already?” The younger man asked, still managing to come back to his sense._

_“No.”_

_“????” Changmin raised his brows and looked at the surrounding before looking back at his supervisor._

_“I’d like to have dinner with you. You are leaving tomorrow.”_

_That really surprised Changmin. Because he didn’t expect Yunho to do that to him. Later, they were in the restaurant. The food and drink were already served on their table. They were eating while enjoying the soft background music._

_“What time are you leaving tomorrow, Changmin?” Yunho asked after sipping his water._

_Changmin paused his feeding himself, “Three in the afternoon.”_

_“Then I’ll send you off to the airport.” Yunho said casually then continued his food. The younger man was surprised to the point of being shocked. His eyeballs were about to pop out of their sockets. Upon seeing the reaction from his subordinate, the project manager asked innocently, “Why do you look_ _so_ _shocked?”_

_“No. I just didn’t expect you would say you’ll send me off to the airport,” he said, wearing apologetic look with an awkward smile. His supervisor nodded in acknowledgement and about to say something but he spoke up first, “But I’ll be fine by myself. Thank you so much for your kind gesture, hyung.”_

_The last sentence made the project’s face turn unreadable._ _Upset? Disappointed? Mad? That was quite hard to put into words._ _He licked his bottom lips before deciding to speak up, “Are you sure?” And what he received was a nod with an assuring smile from his subordinate. He decided to say silent after that, then continued his food. He spoke again after a long silence, “I don’t really get used to the feeling you are traveling away with someone else other than me,” Yunho said softly, almost like a whisper but it was still loud enough for Changmin to hear. His face was a bit exhausted but he looked at Changmin fondly yet a bit irritated by_ _some_ _unknown reason_ _s_ _. “Especially that Choi.” Yunho’s voice was quite_ _stiff when he mentioned ‘that Choi’_ _. “Promise me, you have to be extra careful and keep me posted about everything.”_

_Changmin smiled, “Neh.”_

                                        

*******

A new day has started. Siwon has brought Changmin to have a nice breakfast down near the pool. The older man said he wanted to feel some water to his nostril. Changmin finds him a bit funny. Really. The more Changmin is staying near Siwon, the more he finds Siwon funny but he starts liking Siwon’s presence more and more gradually. They have an American breakfast. While having breaking, he looks at his client who seems too busy with his phone since the early morning, a sudden flash of memory from the last night’s dinner comes to him.

_“So, have you ever had any lover, Changmin?” Siwon asks with soft casual tone but his eyes show his unpretentious curiosity._

_The question from his client has brought Changmin back to his sense._ _Changmin was taken aback. He didn’t expect that Siwon would ask him this question. He thought this question was quite personal. They had just met, and he wasn’t sure if he should tell the older man about his personal matter. But well, hadn’t Siwon kept telling him about his personal matter too? So he guessed Siwon just asked it randomly since he already shared some. Maybe to be fair, Changmin should share some too._

_“It’s okay if you don’t want to answer. I was just a bit curious.”Siwon decided to talk after seeing Changmin quite uncomfortable._

_“I had one.” He answered after somewhat a long silent, soft and sad. “We broke up before I finished my college.”_

 

After the flash of memory, Changmin looks at the pools beside him, remembering the times him and his first love loved swimming. His heart aches. His first love memory has kept haunting him more often than not.

 

Siwon drinks an orange juice before dapping his mouth with a napkin while Changmin is still having his breakfast, and he seems texting someone. And then he tells Changmin, they would leave for somewhere together.

 

Changmin gets his sense back to the source of the voice in front of him. “I’m sorry, I’ll be done soon.”

 

Siwon shakes his head with a comforting smile. “It’s okay, take your time.”

 

The younger mumbles ‘thanks’. But then he just notices Siwon finished only some portion of the ordered breakfast. He doesn’t know why he wants to ask the other man but he asks the other man anyway before his second thought, “Do you usually eat breakfast that little?”

 

The older man seems to be startled at first. “Well,” Siwon swirls his tongue over his bottom lip and tilts his head a bit before continuing, “sometimes I would have only coffee. I’m not really a big fan of breakfast.”

 

“So you skip it sometimes?” He asks innocently, couldn’t control his curiosity.

 

Siwon stills a bit before nodding slowly to the question.

 

“You know, you have to eat breakfast, big or small, you have to eat it. Skipping breakfast causes a heart problem.” He nags with his doe eyes looking straight into the older man.

 

Seeing his service provider behaving that way. Siwon chuckles, then bites his bottom lip with his upper lip to calm himself down. “No wonder he was so, so obsessed with you.” He shakes his head a bit with a mouth hung open a bit. He then continues, “He was so…deeply in love with you.” But abruptly he turns out to be sad, “I believe he would still be.”

 

Changmin remembers Siwon has said relatively the same line last time, but he let it pass because he just didn’t want to be so nosy. But today, Siwon has just said that again. His curiosity gets the better of him now, “What are you talking about?”

_Oh, what? Changmin, did you just ask him?_

 

Siwon looks at him mildly; he forces a sad smile, then shake his head a bit. “Forget about that. I must still have a jetlag, that’s why I said something nonsense.”

 

 

 

***

 

 

Changmin doesn’t know how and when Siwon could get a nice car to drive on his own. He got a latest black Audi waiting at the hotel. Changmin starts doubting of how much Siwon knows Tokyo city, streets and things. He could see that Siwon has made himself like he is in his own home here. He is very curious but he doesn’t ask. He doesn’t want Siwon to think that he is nosy.

 

Along the way to somewhere Changmin isn’t aware yet, Siwon is playing Jazz music again. The younger man has wondered how much his client loves Jazz. Coincidentally, his first love loved Jazz too. Suddenly, he wonders if his first love still loves Jazz the same as he did in the past when they were together.

 

“You seems so quiet, Changmin.” Siwon breaks the ice, still driving.

 

Changmin purses his lips a bit. He was lost in his own thought about his first love. “Sorry, I was afraid you would find me annoying if I talked too much.” He speaks the truth, awkwardly.

 

“I will never find you annoying. Not in a million year. Never ever, Changmin.” The older man replies frankly. He turns to Changmin briefly with his handsome smile before turning his attention back to the road.

 

Changmin smiles shyly. He isn’t sure why he suddenly feels shy.

 

“So tell me, Changmin, how many times have you been here in Japan?” The car has stopped at the traffic light. So Siwon pays more attention to Changmin than to the road now.

 

“How do you know that I have been here?” He asks with an innocent, yet surprising look on his face.

 

Siwon smiles, “I just guess because for some reasons, I feel like you must have been here. Or maybe I’m wrong?”

 

“Oh.” And after a while, he continues, “yes, I have been here.”

 

“So how many times have you been here?” He asks with an anticipation, smiling handsomely.

 

Changmin seems to think a bit. And he shakes his head lightly, “I couldn’t count. Too many times.”

 

“Then when was the first time?” Siwon asks with full of curiosity this time.

 

Changmin looks at him a bit, and he isn’t sure if he should answer. But he doesn’t think that this question is quite personal anyway. He answers, “On one vacation after I got my high-school entrance exam.” He smiles a bit, he seems happy and a bit excited too. “At that time, my parents said that I should get a special bonus since I was a straight A student. And they believed that I would pass the exam.”

 

“So you were an outstanding student.” Siwon comments, with a proud beam. Changmin nods lightly, a bit embarrassed to say that himself. He couldn’t believe that he just told the older man that he was a straight A student.

 

The traffic red light has switched to yellow and then to green, so the cars starts moving. After passing the crossroads a bit, Siwon continues the conversation.

 

“And how was it? I believe it must be a very memorable vacation since it was a special bonus.”

_Of course, it was. And it was a new beginning of something in my life, starting from here…in Japan._

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

 

 

“And how was it? I believe it must be a very memorable vacation since it was a special bonus.”

_Of course, it was. And it was a new beginning of something crucial in my life, starting from here…in Japan._

 

The younger replies after talking in his mind, “Yes, it was. And it was the very factor motivating me to study Japanese.” He smiles, sentimentally but there’s a pain in his eyes. Siwon doesn’t see. He is paying his attention to the road. However, the tone in Changmin’s voice is not absolutely excited.

_Because I didn’t want to lose to that person, no matter how much I enjoyed being pampered. I wanted to be equal to him in some way at least._

 

“So you didn’t know how to speak Japanese that time? And you travelled here? Without any adult with you?” Siwon is surprised, couldn’t believe that his service provider would be this brave. “How old were you that time? Maybe 15, I guess?”

 

Changmin smiles as an answer. He also didn’t know of why he was that brave that time, though he had Kyuhyun with him. They both were not able to really converse in Japanese properly. It was to the point that they were absolute beginners. They just depended on the phrases in the conversational booklet for the tourists. He laughs at himself but he really believed that it really was worth it.

 

“It was worth it. And I’m so thankful for that trip.” He means it. He smiles dreamily at the thoughts of that memory. Then his mind is diverted to that memorable past.

 

_“Hey, Kyu! Wanna go to Japan with me?” He called his best friend_ _after his parents talked to him about the trip. He was in the room alone, lying in bed. He was on his belly when he was on the phone with his best friend._

_“Eh, why suddenly Japan? What occasion?”_

_Chagmin could hear a surprise in his best friend’s voice. He giggled before he replied._ _“We passed the exam, right? And my parents give me the special bonus by letting me visit Japan!!!”_ _He exclaimed excitedly before turning on his side._ _“Let’s have our mental preparation for high school by having the vacation there!”_

_Kyuhyun as a best friend he is, he put all his effort to convince his parents to let him have a vacation in Japan with Changmin. They were so young but they wanted to make their young selves to experience something extraordinary, like going for a trip on their own without parents for once at least._ _Just at the thought of that, the two best friends were jumping with joy._

_Because it was their first time traveling alone just the two of them to a foreign land, they were nervous at first. However, as soon as they landed in Japan, their excitement took over their nervousness._ _The best friends took the trip for fun quite seriously. They went to try this and that, here and there; especially food because that was the favorite thing for Changmin._ _And Kyuhyun was very good at pampering his friend; he would follow his best friend anywhere his best friend wanted to._

_They were now at a particular DVD shop. Kyuhyun was crazy about a particular Rock singer; he wanted to make a memorable souvenir for himself by buying a DVD from Japan. He really wanted that from Japan because he could remind himself that this was from Japan for their first trip yet on their own ever. They were shuffling CDs in different corners of the shop because Changmin was looking for some anime DVDs, the one about the vampires, the one about the hero who fights to save the world, and some romantic comedy anime. While he was still looking for those DVDs he wanted enthusiastically, he accidentally bumped into a particular_ _stranger_ _. Before he could look at the person_ _in the eyes_ _, he_ _automatically_ _mumbled ‘sorry’ in Korean with bows repetitively_ _but then_ _he realized that_ _they were_ _in Japan now. He should apologize in Japanese, in fact, he thought. His friend was already by his side since when he didn’t really know. He was aware of his best friend’s presence when he heard the question._

_“What happened, Chwang?” Kyuhyun asked without a slight hesitation, and looked at his friend._

_He turned to his friend, quite embarrassed_ _but he still didn’t look at the stranger yet_ _. Before he could explain anything to his friend, the person in front of him spoke to them with friendly tone, “Oh, I’m totally fine. Please don’t be worried.”_

_The two best friends were relieved hearing that but then they realized the person just spoke to them in Korean. They looked up at the person at the same time_ _in kind of shock_ _if any_ _. What they didn’t expect was, they found_ _the stranger_ _smiling at them handsomely._

_“Are you Korean?” It was Changmin who was a bit kind of surprised because he was thinking about the word ‘sorry’ in Japanese as he wanted to apologize in Japanese since here was Japan. But then he realized again that he didn’t use any honorific. Quite impolite of him._ _He slapped himself mentally._

_“Yes, I am.” The young man was taller than Changmin, and looked like he’s in his 20s. He answered happily._ _However, he realized something._ _“You two are here alone on your own?”_ _It was him who was surprised this time_ _because the young man didn’t see any sign of any parent or so with them._

_“Yes, we are. We spend our vacation before the school starts.” It was Kyuhyun, replying excitedly while Changmin was a bit awkward because the young man seemed to keep staring at him_ _like endlessly_ _. However, he nodded as an agreement with his friend._

_Upon hearing that from the two boys, the young man was amazed._ _“Oh, wow, you two are so brave! I’m wondering how many kids out there would be brave like you two.” The young man said in the tone with sincere admiration. And for some reasons, Changmin felt proud of his decision._ _He smiled briefly but he didn’t realize the young man notice that. The young man was smiling too when he saw Changmin smiled._

_“And you, hyung? Are you here alone or in a group?” It was Kyuhyun again. He was quite curious about the young man._

_The young man turned to him this time. “Yes, alone.” He smiled, before stealing a glance again at Changmin briefly._

_Before they could make any further conversation, a staff approached them, asking them in Japanese. The two best friends looked at each other like the lost kids because they couldn’t understand anything at all. Luckily, the young man saved them. He was conversing to the staff quite naturally and fluently in Japanese, which made the two best friends felt small all of sudden, yet admired the young man in front of them at the same time._

_After the staff left, the young man told them that the staff asked them if she could help anything. The young man told the staff that it was fine, they would run to her if they need assistance._ _Changmin was moved by the young man’s gesture. His eyes turned sparkling without him knowing it._

 

**_“Changmin, Changmin”_ **

 

The younger man seems to hear a faint calling from a familiar voice. What surprises him the most is, he feels that he always hears this voice whenever he is unconscious. Of course, he is not unconscious now; he’s just lost in his own thoughts but the sincere calling with worries in the tone of the voice makes him remember the every time he was in pain. For some unexplainable reasons, this familiar voice always brought him back to the reality but the face he sees in his own thought right now is Dongwook. No, not only right now…

 

**“Changmin, Changmin”**

 

And this time, he feels a hand touches his shoulder, shaking him lightly. He compellingly is brought back to the reality. He is hoping that it is _Dongwook_ but when he turns to the owner of the hand, it’s _Siwon_. His heart drops to his pit. Without his intention, his disappointment shows on his face briefly before he could school his expression.

 

“Sorry, did I happen to annoy you?” Siwon speaks softly with his apologetic look, evidently that he must feel upset or so.

 

Upon seeing his client’s expression, Changmin realizes that he must have upset his client. “Sorry, Siwon. I was lost in my own thought a bit. Did I happen to bother you?”

 

Siwon shakes his head as a sign of no, with a relieved smile. With that brief moment, Changmin sees his first love in this man again. Siwon’s hand is still on the door of Chagnmin’s side, “Would you mind to spend time with me to buy some CDs? I’d like to have some.” Changmin nods with a soft smile, still awkward from his unintentional rudeness earlier. “Okay, then let’s get down.”

 

Changmin follows the man’s gesture before Siwon closes the door for him. He’s still unused to being treated as a princess when he’s with Siwon. However, the older is very kind enough to drive him around. How many strangers would do like that for him? The only first stranger who did that for him was his first love. The second one was someone whom he still feels grateful and sorry toward. And for the man in front of him, he feels very stupid that he’s being this ignorant. Why does he keep missing his first love this much? Like what his best friend has said to him, what good does it bring when he keeps letting the past occupy his life? But…but Japan was the first fateful meeting place of them… and it had been the place they came every year to celebrate their anniversary. Seeing Japan reminds him of all the bittersweet memories.

 

What surprises him once again is the DVD shop that Siwon chooses to shop in is the very shop that he and his first love met for the first time. Isn’t it too coincident? His heart becomes very heavy abruptly. He is very hesitant to walk into the said shop.

 

_Who are you exactly, Siwon? Why do you have so many alike things to my first love this much?_

 

If he could, he would cry there but no, he couldn’t do that in front of a person he still names as a stranger. Changmin decides to shake off his unstable feeling, and follow the older to get into the shop. What Changmin notices about the changes are, new staffs in the shop, the CDs and everything are placed in new locations with new styles. They aren’t the same as his memories noted. He tries to take a look at the things randomly as a courtesy even in fact, he wants so much to run away from this shop. When he accidently turns to look at the corner where he met his first love for that first time, his hands become shaky. Without any second thought, he walks to another corner, which is a bit far from that. He tries to breath in the air to calm himself down because the tears are threatening to fall down anytime soon. He had been here many times because his first love would always come here to remind them how they met for the first time. But ever since, Dongwook left him, he has never set his foot in this shop at all. He really has forgot about this shop for a while until now. He steals glances at his client but the face he sees is Dongwook’s…

 

Siwon notices the unusual behavior of the younger man, he quickly approaches him. He puts his one hand on the younger man’s upper back while eyeing the younger man in genuine concern.

 

“Are you alright, Changmin?”

 

Changmin shakes his head repetitively. He couldn’t open his mouth to say anything because the tears are really about to fall down at any second. He hates himself for being this weak. He wants to slap himself to wake up and stop being sentimental in such a useless past but he can’t. He really can’t. Without him realizing it, he hugs the man beside him, and cries his heart out. Siwon is taken aback at firs but then he returns the hug and pat the younger man gently and slowly.

 

“Dongwook… I miss you… where the hell are you now? …Do you know how much pain I’ve been in?” He speaks in Korean quite angrily while crying so hard. His tears are dropping endlessly on the older man’s expensive shirt. But Changmin has no mood to care about that. His heart is wrenching and screaming for his first love.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Sooyoung just got ready for her shopping with her boyfriend. When she’s walking down from the stair and walked into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water to drink, Mrs. Choi asked her if she had contacted her brother.

 

“No, I didn’t, Eomma. Why?” She asks casually because it’s not a new news that her brother never comes home on weekend. He’s an adult after all. Not to mention that he’s a playboy one way or another. But she doesn’t mind because she knows for sure that those girls are after her brother’s money rather than his heart.

 

Mrs. Choi seems to look worried for some reasons. She heaves a sigh before talking, “I heard from Secretary Lee that he went to Japan for a week. I’m not sure if it was true. Luckily that your dad is now in the U.S… but before he went there he already told your Oppa to come to a meeting on Tuesday night. He’ll be landing on Monday evening. I heard your Appa will comes with those people.” She still seems to worry so much.

 

Sooyoung has no clue of what’s happening. So she decided to ask, “Those people? Whom? And what meeting, Eomma?”

 

“You are still young to know anything. Just tried to contact your Oppa and make sure he would come back for the Tuesday night meeting,” Mrs. Choi says.

 

“What am I supposed to say to him when I call him when you don’t tell me about the main point of the meeting, Eomma?” She becomes irritated all of sudden. She continues, “I really don’t understand adult. What happened in the past is still a puzzle to me, and yet now I’m already a manager at the Choi group, and I’m still treated like a kid. Can you treat me like my age? I’m already 28. At least, I could think and make decision by myself.” She huffs after her venting. Accidentally, her boyfriend calls, she swipes to answer angrily, “Let’s meet some other time instead. I’m not in the good mood.” She just says like that and hang up the call. She turns her attention to her mother. “Now, Eomma, tell me what happened in the past while I was away in the U.S.”

 

Mrs. Choi bites her bottom lip and heaves a sigh. She looks at her daughter, and nods slightly as an agreement to her daughter’s demand. She leads her daughter to her bedroom, and sits on one of the couch there. Sooyoung follows, and waits for whatever her mother is about to spill.

 

“Do you remember the high school boy whom you saw Siwon followed for a while when you were in your last year of that school?” Mrs. Choi asks carefully in a soft voice as if she’s afraid that someone else might hear.

 

“I’m not sure. It was about 10 years ago. What was it about him?” Sooyoung asks, quite curious this time.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Changmin was very embarrassed for crying his heart out earlier in the DVD shop. It ended up that Siwon wasn’t able to buy any CD as he planned at all. The younger man felt bad for being that childish. He hates himself so much that he couldn’t control his emotion. Siwon drove both of them to Yoyogi Park. It’s one of the best park to visit during Autumn. But they walk up to the Meiji Shrine, where they could enjoy more peaceful moment and that they could talk in a relaxing way. They are now alone behind the shrine, sitting on a bench. At first, they didn’t say anything to one another. Siwon just didn’t want to push the younger man. Somehow, he feels bad for the younger.

 

Changmin keeps looking at the scenery in front of him. The leaves of trees are already turning red and yellow. The weather is a bit chilly even it’s already almost noon time. Damn Autumn. It’s the birth month of the man he loved so dearly. Yes, no anyone else other than his first love. The chilly wind doesn’t help at all. He turns to the man sitting beside him and mumbles _‘sorry’_.

 

“Why do you apologize, Changmin? You’ve done nothing wrong,” Siwon says sincerely.

 

“Frankly speaking, I have been in hell for these past weeks. I really feel like it’s better for me to die,” Changmin says bitterly. His tears fall down again. Siwon moves closer to hug him from the side.

 

“If you don’t mind that we’ve just met, I’d be very pleased to hear you out, Changmin.” Siwon speaks softly to the younger man in his arm, looking straight into his eyes. He tightens his side hug, and rubs the upper arm of the younger man, “Anything… you can tell me anything… and I swear I won’t judge you.”

 

Changmin weeps, couldn’t control his emotion. He looks back into the older man’s eyes, seeking for an empty comfort in the man’s eyes but all he could see is the sincere concern on the man’s face. The older man nods softly with a small yet assuring smile to him as if to say _‘I’m serious.’_ Siwon pulls out his handkerchief to dap the younger man’s tears. Changmin smiles bitterly as tears are still rolling down as if the dam has broken. Siwon gently pulls the younger man’s head to lie on his shoulder.

 

“Would you feel disgusted if I told you that I’m gay, Siwon?” He speaks softly, while his head in the crook of Siwon’s neck. The voice is only loud enough for their distance.

 

“No.” Siwon closes his eyes as if he has anticipated the just-spilt information but his expression is vividly in pain. He clenches his jaw, and swallows the unnecessary saliva. Changmin doesn’t seem to believe but doesn’t protest either. Siwon continues after a short silence, “Why would I?” Siwon says calmly as if he’s not at all surprised. “Everyone has their own unspeakable pain in life,” he adds with a little rub over Changmin’s upper arm. “Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone could tell someone about their unspeakable pain?” He breaths in deeply as if to calm himself, and then continues, “If I could be someone you trust enough to hear your unspeakable pain… I’d consider that as my honor.”

 

The younger man searches for his eyes but what he sees is an assuring sad smile from the older man. He feels that the older man is also in pain somehow.

 

“I mean it, Changmin.” The voice is really soft and soothing.

 

Whether Changmin wants to admit or not, his heart feels a little better. The younger man retreats himself to his original position, looking deeply in the older man’s eyes, trying to seek for lies.

 

Siwon reaches his hand to grab the younger man’s and squeezes gently, “I’ve noticed for a while that you have been troubled… but I didn’t ask because… I thought it would be too fast to ask you after a few meetings.”

 

“You noticed?” Changmin asked softly but more like a confirmation. He earns a nod with a reassuring smile. He smiles bitterly to himself, closing his eyes, breathing in to calm himself. He opens his eyes, looking straight to the beautiful trees and plants in front him, “You asked me last night if I had any lover…” He pauses as the lumps come to his throat.

 

Siwon squeezes his hand gently to assure him and he could feel the trembling from the younger man’s hand, he quickly pulls the younger man into side hug again. Changmin shakes his head like a mad man as his tears pour on Siwon’s coat. Siwon wipes the younger man’s tear with him thumb but still keep his position in his arm. Changmin swallows the lumps, wanting to talk but the tears keep falling like the angry rain.

 

_I’m sorry, Changmin for the all the miseries you have been through._

 

Siwon’s heart aches for the younger man.

 

_My dear Minnie, I’m here for you for real now. Just spill everything and move on._

****

Siwon closes his eyes and speaks up, “Just tell me anything, and acts all the way you want... You don’t need to refrain yourself in front of me… It’s hurting me to see such a sweet person like you in pain.”

 

Changmin smiles bitterly at the word _‘sweet person’_ because his first love always said that he was sweet. “Dongwook,” he begins to speak up.

 

_Yes, Changmin. Dongwook._

 

The younger man isn’t confident to continue his words. Siwon doesn’t force him to say anything either. He waits patiently. After a short silent, Changmin speaks again, “he is my first love.”

 

Siwon closes his eyes in calm manner as if he has heard something he anticipated.

 

Changmin feels the comforting side hug from the older man as he tightens gently. He feels assured, so he continues, “… we met here in Japan… our first encounter was… was at the DVD shop that you stopped by…”

 

Upon hearing that, Siwon tightens his closed eyes and clenches his jaws. Not to express his anger but in the other way around.

 

_Am I torturing you, Changmin?_

 

“Dongwook… was the world to me,” Changmin continued with a hopeful yet sad smile, “…and we promised we would get married after I finished my college… No matter happened to me… as long as he was by my side… I felt my world complete… A man… who had given me everything best… in every detail of my memories… he had never done anything to make me feel insecure or unsafe…”

 

_Yes, he was that good… that’s why you were not able to notice someone else._

 

Changmin continues again, “…He said he was my wings… so wherever I went, then he would be there with me… but,” his tears roll down more, “…he left me without a single word right before my 21st birthday…” His voice becomes more unclear but he still continues. He wants to say that out loud for once because he hope he could move on after that. He breaks down hard while speaking, “…he brought my wings with him… He was not just my wings but also my world… and my world left me… crushing me hard in the hell… And I was all alone in the end… I know I’m stupid that I hope he would return some days… Kyu has been by my side and tell me to forget about him… but my little heart still hopes for a miracle… It’s been 5 years since he left…”

 

_No, he didn’t leave you, Changmin. And he’s now by your side._

Tears are rolling down the younger man’s cheeks more uncontrollably. He tries to breath in and out to calm himself before he could continue again, “…but recently, he’s popped up in my thoughts every now and then… Autumn is the season of his birth… He said he had no family but me. He said I was his only family… but”

 

_Yes, you are really his only family. Not only him who is a world to you, you are a world to him too, and even a bigger one, Changmin._

Changmin cries harder this time while speaking, “…but he left his only family all alone living in hell… I thought I could like someone else… I thought…. I could forget him… but then I myself don’t know anymore… Yet, I’m very stupid because I couldn’t hate him… I want so much to hate him… but as much as I want to hate him… I love him even more… I miss him”

 

Siwon’s tears are rolling down his cheeks while listening to the younger man. He gives himself a deep breath, opens his eyes and moves the man in his arm to face him face to face. Changmin looks surprised to see the older man crying. He reaches his hand to wipe the older man’s tears but before he could touch his cheek, the older man grabs his hand first, then places his grabbed hand on his cheek near to his lips. He snuggles into Changmin’s palm. The younger man stays still, watching the older man crying like a baby. He didn’t expect to see his client cry but right now this so-called playboy is crying before him while listening to his love story. He is surprised to see this soft side of his client. He reaches his other hand to wipe the man’s tears.

 

“Siwon, I’m sorry.” He apologizes while wiping the older man’s tears. “I didn’t expect you to cry over my love story—“

 

Changmin couldn’t finish his words because he was startled by the sudden grab of Siwon on his other hand. His both hands are on his client’s cheeks while his warmer hands are on top of them. The client snuggles into the younger man’s palms and then looks straight into the younger man’s eyes.

 

“Am I not good enough?” Siwon asks tenderly yet sincerely. Changmin’s mind is in the fog and his eyes becomes bigger than they usually are. He’s lost at word with a sudden question from Siwon. Siwon squeezes Changmin’s hands on his cheeks before moving his both hands to cup the younger man’s face. The younger man’s hands lose their strength, dropping down gradually to their laps. Siwon speaks again with a firmer tone this time, “Changmin… am I really not good enough to be your man?” The two look at each other in the eyes, and the world around them seem to stay still for that moment.

 

Changmin is stunned by the sudden confession. He couldn’t think of anything but look at the man in front of him absentmindedly. His mouth is hung opened. Siwon leans in and kisses him on the lips tenderly and slowly. The younger man is shocked by the sudden kiss. His eyes become bigger in a second. By the time, his sense comes back to him, he tries to push the older man away but the older man pulls him even closer to deepen the kiss. However, strangely enough, he feels that he is being kissed by his first love.

 

_Dongwook._

 

His mind is in a daze.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I can't promise that I will be able to update my fic regularly. Sometimes, it will take me pretty long to update another chapter but one thing for sure is, I won't abandon my work. :)
> 
> P.S: Your comments as well as constructive criticism are deeply and highly appreciated. I'd like to hear them so that I could see whether or not my story is going well. Don't hesitate to let me hear your impression. Kudos are warmly welcome. ^^
> 
> Love you all (including silent readers) *hugs and kisses*


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